Have You Read My Stories?

Also fun for the weekend, if you didn’t take my suggestion yesterday, is reading the stories that I have on this here blog. You can find them on the My Stories tab at the top of my page. I have a Star War fan fiction. A Left 4 Dead fan fiction.

I also have 3 different comic book-type stories. There’s Dead Set, which is my serious one. Captain Procrastination is my off-the-wall goofy one. And DICO is…. well…. DICO is somewhere in the middle.

I’ve also done a short Superman fan fiction, and a Spider-Man one as well, but I haven’t added them to that page yet for some reason. I suppose I could do that now, while I’m thinking about it, but I’m channeling my inner Captain Procrastination at the moment. Oh, well. Maybe next time.

Speaking of “next time”, that’s when I’ll see you again, dear readers!

PepperJam Collaboration

I know it’s last minute, but that’s just how I operate. Here is the collaboration between Daniel (from Stray Dog Strut) and I. He, being a much more talented artist than I could hope to be, drew an image for me to attach a story to. Daniel’s picture is of the characters from my Star Wars fan fiction, Torr Nupp and Envy.

Since there are still some parts of the story that have yet to rerun (and not everyone has read them all), I will be doing a prequel story based on the awesome picture that he drew. Besides, it’s Star Wars. Making prequels goes with the territory. So, please take a good look at the amazing job he did at bringing Torr and Envy into the land of the seen. Also, be sure to follow him when you go check his blog out.


I don’t know if you know this, but it’s pretty hard to breath when a Wookie has grabbed you by the throat. It also hurts a tad bit more when he’s lifting you off the ground while he’s choking the life out of you. “Gee, Torr, how did you get to be so smart?” The answer to that will have to wait. I’m somewhat preoccupied at the moment.

“Is your face supposed to be turning that odd shade of blue,” I hear from behind me. “Just when I think I have you fleshpiles figured out, I learn that you can change color.”

I tried my hardest to turn around to face the speaker, if only so that kicking my droid Envy in the head would be the last thing I ever did. Tranduur, the Wookie that was less than pleased with me, was against this idea for some reason. My eyes were forced forward into the growling face of an irate hairball. Having people angry at me was nothing new. In fact, it seemed to be a fairly common occurrence for me (jealousy runs rampant in this galaxy. It’s sad, really). This time, however, I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything to deserve it.

Just as my vision began to fade, I heard Tranduur yelp in pain. I felt myself falling for a second before hitting the ground hard. The metallic hands of Envy pulled me roughly onto my feet. “What happened,” I managed to croak out of my damaged larynx.

“The red idiot jabbed the hairy beast’s arm with one of his horns.”

I looked up to see Katellan, my Devaronian pilot, standing between me and the Wookie. Both of them were showing off their sharp teeth in, what I could only assume was, an attempt to scare the other one off. Neither of them moved. Bending down, I picked up a couple of my tools that had fallen out of my pockets when I hit the floor. At the same time  I let out a loud whistle. They finally turned away from each other to look at me.

“What’s the problem,” I angrily asked the thing that tried to kill me. (“He’s not a thing, Torr. Tranduur is a fellow being that has feelings.” That may be true, overly sensitive person who may be reading this, but anyone who tries to kill me for no reason gets no respect from me.)

After a lengthy bout of the grunts and howls that make up the Wookie language, Envy translated. “The hair-covered fleshpile says that you have dishonored him, therefore you must be punished.”

“How did I dishonor him? We’ve never had any dealings before.”

“He says that he is the major sponsor of this race and that your swoops skills are so bad that it made some of his business associates not want to watch.”

“I don’t get it.”

“He’s saying that your lack of racing skills made him look bad for allowing you to enter the race.”

“I’m sorry that I made him look bad, but that doesn’t justify him trying to kill me.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you had to watch you race,” Envy quipped. “I am incapable of feelings, but watching you attempt to compete in that race caused me considerable pain.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” I pleaded as I looked to Katellan for support. He immediately dropped his head, refusing to meet my gaze. Apparently, he felt the same. “Fine,” I conceded. “I’m not a great swoop racer. But, that doesn’t mean you have to try to kill me. I just won’t enter the race next year.”

Tranduur gave another series of growls and groans. “He says that it’s not good enough,” Envy translated. “He needs to finish what he started.”

“Remind him that if he kills me then I can’t work on any of the swoops that enter his next race. I may not be a good racer, but his races will be even worse if I don’t upgrade any of the bikes.”

That got Tranduur’s attention, as well it should. I am, after all, the greatest swoop bike mechanic in the galaxy (I’m also the galaxy’s greatest lover, ladies. However, that’s not important to this story). With a grunt of defeat, the Wookie waved me away. Using my bountiful deductive reasoning skills, I figured out that he said I was free to go. I instructed Katellan to take Envy back to the Quick Fix and get it ready for take off while I said one more thing to Tranduur. The Devaronian looked at me funny, but he did as I asked.

“Without Envy, you won’t be able to understand what the Wookie is saying!” I know that, dear reader. I don’t need to know what he’s saying. I just need him to understand what I’m saying, which he does.

I give him a long, drawn out apology. Tranduur is beginning to get bored, I can tell, but it’s very important that I take a little time with telling him that I was sorry. As soon as I feel like he can’t take any more, I abruptly cut myself off and offer him a goodbye. He gratefully accepts it and starts to walk away. Once he’s a good ten meters away, I call out to stop him. I draw my arm back and let the tool I had picked up earlier fly as he turns around.

A direct hit!

The metal hydrospanners smacked Tranduur right in his forehead. I wanted to stick around and revel in my small victory, but I was sure that my strike didn’t do enough damage to allow me to do so. My feet were at full speed by the time I heard the angry growl from behind me. I weaved in and out of the crowds as I made my way back to the ship. As soon as I made it to the top of the ramp, I hit the button to close it. “Let’s get out of here,” I hollered to Katellan through the comms.

Just as the ramp was about to fully close, I saw Tranduur step into view. Thankfully, he only stayed there for a second before the loud bang that announced that the ramp was back in the ship. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked up to join Katellan on the bridge. “You need to pilot those things better,” Katellan sighed as he lifted the Quick Fix into the air.

“I’m not worried about it,” I laughed. “I may never win a race, but I’m going to have fun while I do it.”

“I wouldn’t say you’ll never win a race. I’ve got a good feeling about the next one.”

SWFF: A Race To Danger Part 12

Sorry for the delay folks, but here is the final installment of A Race to Danger. I hope you all enjoyed it. As always, if you have any comments or questions, please feel free to leave them in the comments for me. If you feel uncomfortable commenting or questioning in public, feel free to email me at revisedgewater@hotmail.com . To catch up on parts 1-11, click here.



“Attention soon-to-be-dead fleshpile,” came Envy’s robotic voice in my ear, “all of the other racers have finished. You might as well cross the finish line, too. Besides, staring at the man who will soon be killing you is a waste of what little time you have left.” Continue reading

SWFF A Race To Danger Part 11


“What are you going to do, Master,” Envy asked.

With a raised eyebrow, I looked at the droid. “You better watch out,” I told him. “For a second there it actually sounded like you care.”

“You are a fleshpile who is inferior to me in every possible way. However, you are an inferior fleshpile that I’ve grown accustomed to. Should you perish, I might get stuck with a fleshpile even more useless than you. Therefore, it is in my best interests to try to keep you from expiring.”

Continue reading

SWFF A Race To Danger Part 10


I’m not sure how long I just sat there cradling Katellan’s head. It could have been two seconds, or it could have been two hours. When I finally looked up, I saw the Trandoshan staring at me. He didn’t have his blaster pointed at me this time, however. “That shot was meant for you,” he said in Huttese. “Be glad your friend took it for you.” A red bolt of energy passed over his head, but he didn’t duck. Instead, he continued talking to me. “I don’t have to kill you now. He will do it for me.”

With that, he ran out of the hanger. I stayed down on the ground with the body. The sound of footsteps behind me made me turn. Nalith was walking up to me with a scowl on his face. He stopped right in front of me and began screaming. “My employer told me you were going to be a pain to work with, and he was right. If you had done what you were told to do, and left well enough alone, none of this would have happened!”

Continue reading

SWFF: A Race To Danger Part 9


Another headache greeted me when I woke up. I’m starting to loathe the person who invented stun blasts (Granted, they’re not the one who pulled the trigger, but if they didn’t invent the thing, I wouldn’t have been stunned in the first place. Then again, if they didn’t invent them, someone else probably would have and the only thing that would change is who I loathe. Great. I’m starting to ramble again. This happens every time I get hit with a stun blast. I’m starting to loathe the person who invented stun blasts. Granted, they’re not the one who pulled the trigger….Wait…Blast it!).

I was in my quarters. Nalith had pulled a chair up next to my bed and was lounging, waiting for me to awaken. He hadn’t seen my eyes open yet. I could make a move for his blaster.
Continue reading

SWFF: A Race To Danger Part 8


“Don’t just sit there,” I yelled at Envy. “Get that thing out of here.”

“Master,” he replied, “I am programmed for translation and swoop bike repair. What part of either of those two bits of programming make you think I know how to dispose of a bomb? Idiot.”

“Do it anyway, you bucket of bolts!”

“You’re the one who wants it gone. Why don’t you do it?”

Continue reading