PepperJam Collaboration

I know it’s last minute, but that’s just how I operate. Here is the collaboration between Daniel (from Stray Dog Strut) and I. He, being a much more talented artist than I could hope to be, drew an image for me to attach a story to. Daniel’s picture is of the characters from my Star Wars fan fiction, Torr Nupp and Envy.

Since there are still some parts of the story that have yet to rerun (and not everyone has read them all), I will be doing a prequel story based on the awesome picture that he drew. Besides, it’s Star Wars. Making prequels goes with the territory. So, please take a good look at the amazing job he did at bringing Torr and Envy into the land of the seen. Also, be sure to follow him when you go check his blog out.

pepperjam

I don’t know if you know this, but it’s pretty hard to breath when a Wookie has grabbed you by the throat. It also hurts a tad bit more when he’s lifting you off the ground while he’s choking the life out of you. “Gee, Torr, how did you get to be so smart?” The answer to that will have to wait. I’m somewhat preoccupied at the moment.

“Is your face supposed to be turning that odd shade of blue,” I hear from behind me. “Just when I think I have you fleshpiles figured out, I learn that you can change color.”

I tried my hardest to turn around to face the speaker, if only so that kicking my droid Envy in the head would be the last thing I ever did. Tranduur, the Wookie that was less than pleased with me, was against this idea for some reason. My eyes were forced forward into the growling face of an irate hairball. Having people angry at me was nothing new. In fact, it seemed to be a fairly common occurrence for me (jealousy runs rampant in this galaxy. It’s sad, really). This time, however, I’m pretty sure I didn’t do anything to deserve it.

Just as my vision began to fade, I heard Tranduur yelp in pain. I felt myself falling for a second before hitting the ground hard. The metallic hands of Envy pulled me roughly onto my feet. “What happened,” I managed to croak out of my damaged larynx.

“The red idiot jabbed the hairy beast’s arm with one of his horns.”

I looked up to see Katellan, my Devaronian pilot, standing between me and the Wookie. Both of them were showing off their sharp teeth in, what I could only assume was, an attempt to scare the other one off. Neither of them moved. Bending down, I picked up a couple of my tools that had fallen out of my pockets when I hit the floor. At the same time  I let out a loud whistle. They finally turned away from each other to look at me.

“What’s the problem,” I angrily asked the thing that tried to kill me. (“He’s not a thing, Torr. Tranduur is a fellow being that has feelings.” That may be true, overly sensitive person who may be reading this, but anyone who tries to kill me for no reason gets no respect from me.)

After a lengthy bout of the grunts and howls that make up the Wookie language, Envy translated. “The hair-covered fleshpile says that you have dishonored him, therefore you must be punished.”

“How did I dishonor him? We’ve never had any dealings before.”

“He says that he is the major sponsor of this race and that your swoops skills are so bad that it made some of his business associates not want to watch.”

“I don’t get it.”

“He’s saying that your lack of racing skills made him look bad for allowing you to enter the race.”

“I’m sorry that I made him look bad, but that doesn’t justify him trying to kill me.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you had to watch you race,” Envy quipped. “I am incapable of feelings, but watching you attempt to compete in that race caused me considerable pain.”

“It couldn’t have been that bad,” I pleaded as I looked to Katellan for support. He immediately dropped his head, refusing to meet my gaze. Apparently, he felt the same. “Fine,” I conceded. “I’m not a great swoop racer. But, that doesn’t mean you have to try to kill me. I just won’t enter the race next year.”

Tranduur gave another series of growls and groans. “He says that it’s not good enough,” Envy translated. “He needs to finish what he started.”

“Remind him that if he kills me then I can’t work on any of the swoops that enter his next race. I may not be a good racer, but his races will be even worse if I don’t upgrade any of the bikes.”

That got Tranduur’s attention, as well it should. I am, after all, the greatest swoop bike mechanic in the galaxy (I’m also the galaxy’s greatest lover, ladies. However, that’s not important to this story). With a grunt of defeat, the Wookie waved me away. Using my bountiful deductive reasoning skills, I figured out that he said I was free to go. I instructed Katellan to take Envy back to the Quick Fix and get it ready for take off while I said one more thing to Tranduur. The Devaronian looked at me funny, but he did as I asked.

“Without Envy, you won’t be able to understand what the Wookie is saying!” I know that, dear reader. I don’t need to know what he’s saying. I just need him to understand what I’m saying, which he does.

I give him a long, drawn out apology. Tranduur is beginning to get bored, I can tell, but it’s very important that I take a little time with telling him that I was sorry. As soon as I feel like he can’t take any more, I abruptly cut myself off and offer him a goodbye. He gratefully accepts it and starts to walk away. Once he’s a good ten meters away, I call out to stop him. I draw my arm back and let the tool I had picked up earlier fly as he turns around.

A direct hit!

The metal hydrospanners smacked Tranduur right in his forehead. I wanted to stick around and revel in my small victory, but I was sure that my strike didn’t do enough damage to allow me to do so. My feet were at full speed by the time I heard the angry growl from behind me. I weaved in and out of the crowds as I made my way back to the ship. As soon as I made it to the top of the ramp, I hit the button to close it. “Let’s get out of here,” I hollered to Katellan through the comms.

Just as the ramp was about to fully close, I saw Tranduur step into view. Thankfully, he only stayed there for a second before the loud bang that announced that the ramp was back in the ship. I breathed a sigh of relief as I walked up to join Katellan on the bridge. “You need to pilot those things better,” Katellan sighed as he lifted the Quick Fix into the air.

“I’m not worried about it,” I laughed. “I may never win a race, but I’m going to have fun while I do it.”

“I wouldn’t say you’ll never win a race. I’ve got a good feeling about the next one.”

In the Background 

A noise outside got his attention as he sat on the couch and watched TV. He got up, walked to the window, and peeked out through the blinds. Outside of his house, all of his neighbors were on the sidewalk having some kind of party. The people were all talking, laughing, listening, or crying. It was something that he normally wouldn’t do, but it looked like fun.

So, he walked outside.

A few people noticed him at first, but most paid  him no heed. Undeterred, he walked from group to group. He would talk a little, laugh a little, listen a little, and cry a little. Most of his neighbors were nice and acted politely towards him. Still, he could tell that he was out of place among them. They were great people, but they weren’t him.
As the party went on, he found that the more he talked, the less people listened.

His thoughts first turned to anger. How could they treat him this way? Instead of giving in to the anger, he took a step back and began watching from a distance. People continued on with what they were doing. A few of them even took the time to break out of their groups to walk over and talk to him. For some reason, this made him happier than if everyone at the party gave him their undivided attention.

He realized that he didn’t need everyone to notice him. He didn’t need for all the people to know he was there. All he needed was the right people to see him.

A smile crossed his face as he slid back into the shadows. He watched. He listened. Everything went on like normal without him getting in the way. He was at peace.

Things were better now that he had taken his place, had faded into the background.

RTotD 11-27

It’s that time again, dear readers. It’s time for me to inflict the randomness that infects my head onto you. I know, I know. You can hate me for it later.

This thought is centered around a show that Baby E watches off of Disney Junior called Sofia the First.

sofia

In it, the princess, Sofia, wears a magical amulet. This amulet’s magic depends on how good you are as a person. If you do good things, like help people out, it gives you good powers. If you’re bad, such as acting like a stuck up bitch, it will curse you until you right whatever wrong you committed.

Seems simple enough, right?

Well, one of the running stories in the show is that the kingdom’s bumbling sorcerer is always trying to steal the amulet from Sofia because he thinks the amulet will help him take over the kingdom.

Once again, sounds pretty simple.

However, there’s a problem that occurs when you combine those two things. Stealing the amulet is a bad thing, so it would curse him if he did end up stealing it from her. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say he somehow found a way to convince her to give him the amulet. There’d still be a problem. He’s planning on using it to overthrow the rightful king and queen of the kingdom, also a very bad thing.

So, either way, the amulet he’s been trying so hard to acquire, the one he’s spontaneously broken into song about repeatedly, would actually hinder his attempts to take over the kingdom because it would curse him as soon as he tried to use it.

I realize this is a kids’ show, and I’m probably overthinking this, but shouldn’t their shows make sense, if only for the incredibly bored parents that are being force to watch this drivel?

Granted, there are about two seasons worth of episodes that we don’t have access to (only the first two seasons are on Netflix), so maybe they’ve finally addressed this stupidity. I can only hope so. If not, when they finally release new episodes on Netflix, I’ll be forced to endure more of the pain.

Spider-Man Fan Fiction 6

It took a couple of minutes, but his vision returned to normal. He had gone up against foes that had packed a punch before (Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Sandman), but none of them had ever made him feel like this after a fight. Sitting up quickly, he waited to see if his head would start swimming again. Thankfully, it didn’t.

Common sense would dictate that he should recuperate before facing Morbius again. The thought of doing that filled Peter with dread. It needed to be done, though. Dr. Connors said that the parts that Morbius stole could be used to make the vampire even stronger and more dangerous than he already was. That was something that couldn’t be allowed. Now all he had to do was find him.

Judging by the number of bodies he found in the sewers, Morbius probably lived nearby. He’d also want to avoid heavily trafficked areas. The fangs and the all black attire wouldn’t help him blend into a crowd. Of course, the pieces of machinery he was trying to use probably required a lot of electricity to operate them, so he needed access to a heavy grid.

After his romp through the sewers, Spider-Man had lost track of where he was. With the slinging of a web, he was airborne once more. He climbed higher into New York’s skyline until he was able to get a good view of the surrounding area. None of it looked very promising. Most of the streets around him were covered with pedestrians. The only place that wasn’t was a block that was covered in construction crews adding another building to the already crowded city.

He didn’t really have a better place to start, so he swung on down. A couple of construction workers up on a crane saw him and waved. “How are you doing, fellas,” Spider-Man asked as he landed next to the men.

“I don’t believe it, Charlie,” the first man said. “I’m talking to Spider-Man. The guys at the bar are gonna call me a liar when I tell them this.”

“I know, Mitch,” Charlie responded. “We’re talking to a real life superhero.”

“Guys,” Spider-Man interrupted. “I hate to cut this love fest short, but I need your help. Have either of you seen a guy dressed in black with incredibly white skin come this way?”

“You mean Dr. Mike,” Mitch asked.

“Funny you should mention him,” Charlie added. “He just came through here a few minutes ago. He seemed kinda spooked. Normally, he’ll stop and talk to us for a few minutes when he comes back from dinner, but he just walked right on by us tonight.”

“Where does he live,” Spider-Man questioned.

“I’m not sure,” Mitch replied. “All we know is he walks down that way. There’s nothing really down that way, though.”

After thanking the men, he took off down the way that they indicated. They were right. The street he walked down was a dead end at another construction site. This was certainly a place that had little to no traffic. No lights were on anywhere in the construction site, so he wasn’t in there. Or, if he was, he was hiding. That’s when Spider-Man saw it. A group of heavy duty cables coming out of the ground. Right now, they weren’t connected to anything. Soon, however, they’d be used to provide power to whatever was being built here.

Morbius was back in the sewer.

Off to the side, Spider-Man caught a glimpse of the opening that Morbius was probably using. He quickly landed, opened the grate, and jumped down. Once again, the stench of the sewer assaulted his senses, but it wasn’t nearly as bad as it was last time. No dead bodies were down this tunnel. Spider-Man scanned all around, but there were no visual clues as to where Morbius might be.

There was the faint humming sound of a machine running coming from behind him. Silently, he crept along the tunnel heading towards the noise. If possible, he wanted to catch Morbius unaware. Further up ahead, to the left, an unnatural hole marred the wall of the sewer. When he reached the opening, he quickly peeked around the corner. To his surprise, it appeared to be a less sophisticated version of Dr. Connors’ lab. Some of the equipment looked to be new, but most of it was outdated and worn. He could only assume that the old equipment was what was left over from Morbius’ accident.

Speaking of Morbius, Spider-Man saw him enter a clear glass chamber along the back wall of the sewer lab. Inside of the chamber, Doctor Octavius’ control panel was mounted to the side. The genetic marker finder of Doctor Connors was connected to it with some cables and it sat just outside the chamber. There was no way to approach the thing without Morbius seeing him. He tried to think of a way to get across the room as quickly as he could.

Suddenly, the electrical humming grew louder. Looking up, he saw that Morbius was furiously typing something into the control panel. The more he typed, the louder the humming became. Soon, Morbius’ fingers stopped moving, but the humming of the machinery grew to where it was close to deafening. Peter wasn’t sure what he should do. All he knew was that he should probably stop whatever was happening.

He leapt around the corner from where he was hiding and ran towards the chamber. Morbius’ eyes locked on him, but he didn’t move at all. His arms and legs were taut, shaking from what appeared to be strain. Whatever the machine was doing, it looked like it was incredibly painful to the doctor. Spider-Man was about ten feet away when the machinery reached a crescendo. It was immediately followed by a blinding light and he found himself flung to the floor.

When he was finally able to see again, he found Morbius still in the chamber, staring at his hands. With a cry of rage, the vampire struck the cage. Shards of glass flew in every direction. “That should’ve worked,” he cried in anguish. His gaze settling on Spider-Man again, he growled, “This is your fault. You interrupted the process. I warned you, Spider-Man. Now it’s time for you to die.”

Character Renderings

One of my great regrets is that I’m not a better artist. I would love to be able to be at least decent at drawing. There are so many ideas I have for comics that I would be able to see to fruition if I was able to convey the images I see in my head onto paper. I’ve tried so many times and it has yet to come out right.

Recently, I got an idea for a character after having a Facebook conversation with everyone’s favorite dinosaur, Ra. Normally, an idea is as far as it goes, since I am unable to properly draw the character. This time, because Ra is so awesome, I decided to go ahead and try out the drawing thing again. As she is the one who made the picture at the top of this here blog, I even went as far as to try to style my drawings after hers.

In the end, I finished with 3 different images.

Here he is standing in front of a door.

invisible-1

Here he his standing in front of a window.

invisible-2

And, lastly, here he is in his backyard.

invisible-3

Well, there you have it, folks. Those are the first renderings of Tom, the invisible man. What do you think of my pictures? Do they really capture the essence of the character?

The Lie Revealed 

I did a post where I offered forth six tidbits. Five of them were true. One was a lie. The original post can be read here, if you’re so inclined.

Now that you’re caught up, I guess it’s time to let you know what it was:

  1. I have never smoked pot. – This is true. I have been around other people when they’ve done it, but I’ve never done it myself. It’s not that I’m against it, or have a problem with people who do it, I just can’t stand the smell of it. It literally makes me sick to my stomach if I’m around the smell of it too long. It hasn’t made me puke yet, but it’s come close.
  2. My birthday is the same as my stepmother’s, except for the year. – This is true. Though many years separate our births, my stepmother and I were born on the same day in July.
  3. My wife’s birthday is the same as my stepsister’s, year included. – This is true. They were actually born just an hour apart from each other. My wife is the older one, for those who are curious.
  4. I graduated high school with a guy who ended up on the cover of the Madden NFL video game. – This is not true. While it is true that I went to high school with Shaun Alexander, the cover boy of Madden 2007, we did not graduate together. He graduated in 1995. I graduated in 96.
  5.  I went to 4 different high schools. – This is true. I spent my freshman and the first half of my sophomore year at one school. I finished my sophomore year at my second school. I started my junior year at my third school. Midway through my junior year, I transferred to the school that Shaun Alexander and I would graduate from.
  6. They  threatened to kick me, my older brother, and our friend out of school during my freshman year for sexual harassment  because we wrote a song that basically  called my friend’s ex a whore. – This is true. I don’t remember what we actually said in this song. I just remember that the basic premise of it was that we were calling her a whore. We recorded it, my friend gave it to one of his other friends, and that other friend was stupid enough to take it to school and play it for people. The next thing I knew, I was being called to the office. I don’t want to say I’m strangely proud of this, but I kind of am. I don’t really know why either. It’s not exactly a moment worthy of pride.

 

There you have it, folks. Now you know, and knowing is half the battle. G.I. JOE!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry. I had a flashback.

Anyways, I hope that helps you get to know me a little better. I doubt it will, because I really didn’t tell you anything worth knowing. Oh well. Better luck next time, I guess.