Here We Go Again With the Questions

I’ve seen a couple of people do posts where they answer questions. I thought about doing the questions that they did, but there were over 100 of them, and I don’t have time for that. So, instead, I decided to find a random question generator and told it to give me 20.

Here we go.

Which do you like better, Google or Apple? The only Apple product I’ve ever used is my wife’s iPad, and that hasn’t been very much, so I’m going Google on this one.
Do you like bugs? Hell no. Those little bastards are always trying to get in my house.
Which do you like better, ninjas or pirates? Look at my header picture. Is there a pirate on it? No. Is there a ninja? Yes. I think you have your answer.

What is your favorite eye color? Well, mine are blue, my wife’s are green, and my daughter’s are blue, but starting to kind of creep on over to the green side. So….blue/green?

Have you ever shoplifted? When I was in high school. I stole some football cards from a convenience store. My younger brother tried to do it too, but got busted and promptly ratted me out. So, in order to keep the cops out of it, we had to clean the store for an hour every day after school for a week. I took the first week. He was supposed to take the second, but when it came time for my brother to do his, he got pink eye and I had to do it for him. I got hosed….

What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple, provided it’s not cooked. I hate cooked pineapple.

Do you like roller coasters? I did before I hurt my back. Now, not so much.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? I want to say that I have, but I don’t specifically remember doing it.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Nope, and I don’t plan on ever getting any. I don’t have anything against people that do those things, they’re just not for me.

What is your favorite drink? Sunkist, although I’m trying to cut back on drinking soft drinks.

Have you ever been stopped by the police? A couple of times, but the only ticket I ever got was from a cop in Detroit for not wearing my seatbelt. 

Which do you like better, black socks or white socks? Whichever kind keeps me from sticking my bare feet in my shoes.

Do you have pets? My daughter has a fish named Kiki. He’s a betta, or a Siamese fighting fish if you want to get technical. However, because he’s purple, my daughter says he has to be a girl. I tried to explain that just because it was purple, that didn’t make it a girl, but she wasn’t having it.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Four. One pair of dress shoes, one that I wear to work, one that I wear outside of work, and one I only wear when I’m mowing my yard.

How many books did you read last year? I don’t know. I didn’t keep count. Probably somewhere between 15-20, I’d guess.

What are your favorite hot dog toppings? Gulden’s Spicy Brown mustard. That’s some good stuff.

Do you like to dance? No. In fact, I dislike it. I will do it on a few specific occasions, however. If my wife or daughter ask me to, I will. Or if I’m drunk….

What is your favorite hair color? I honestly don’t have a preference. They all look good, depending on who is wearing them.

Have you ever dined and dashed? Nope. I’ve joked about it, but I’ve never actually done it.

Have you ever been in a play? Nope. The only acting I ever did was when I worked at Walmart and I pretended that I didn’t hate it there.

 There you go. Hope you learned something there. I didn’t. I already knew all those answers.

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Walking In To Stupidity

It’s been a long time since I’ve felt the need to vent about work on here. I try not to, but something happened today that almost made me crush my skull from the enormous face palm I was forced to give it.

For those of you who don’t remember, or didn’t know in the first place, the company I work for does contract work repairing radios for a car stereo manufacturer. While we do some retail models, most of what we handle are factory installed radios that are still under warranty. An order is generated when a car dealership calls in and says there’s a problem with a radio. Those orders go on a list which I go out to the warehouse, pick, put the radios into a box, and then ship. It’s fairly simple.

Now, every once in a while, we’ll get an email from the order takers telling us to cancel an order. Sometimes it’s because there was a system error and they need to re-enter the order, but it’s usually because the dealer will call back and say they don’t need it anymore. That’s what happened on Friday. I got an email telling me to cancel an order. So, I did. And, like I have to do every time I cancel an order, I sent an email confirming that I cancelled it. My job was done.

Then, I came into work this morning. The first thing I do after starting every day is check my email. That’s when I saw this:

Hello, Can you tell me if this order
was Cancel. Order# @#$%^&*/  Dealer said he called. Talk to someone, request it to be Cancel. Well the dealer called back today. And he still needs this radio. So please do not cancel. If you didn’t. please ship it out. And let me know. Thank you

Besides the atrocious grammar, there are many things incredibly wrong with this email. Things that make me want to punch holes in some of the boxes we have around here. Let me go through them for you as if I was talking to the person who sent it, because I can’t actually say these things to her or I’d be fired.

“Hello, Can you tell me if this order
was Cancel”

Yes, it was cancelled. If you would check your email, you’d already know this.

“Dealer said he called. Talk to someone, request it to be Cancel.”

The dealer said they called and talked to someone about cancelling the order? Yeah, they did. It was you, you moron. You’re the one who sent me the email asking for the order to be cancelled, so they obviously talked to you.

“Well the dealer called back today. And he still needs this radio. So please do not cancel.”

Today is Tuesday. Per your request,  I cancelled the order back on Friday. As far as I know, time travel is impossible, so I can’t go back and uncancel it.

“If you didn’t. please ship it out. And let me know. Thank you”

Once again, I sent you confirmation back on Friday that this order had been cancelled. I can’t ship it out because…oh, I don’t know….THE ORDER WAS CANCELLED!!!!

Sheesh….

To The Door

Our local school is fairly small. So small that there is no busing services for the students. In order to go to classes every day, kids either need to walk to school or have their parents drop them off. Because of this, there is a drop off lane in front of the entrance to the school. That way, parents can just pull up, open their doors, and just let their kids get out without having to leave the car.

I don’t do that, however. 

Every morning I park a couple of blocks away and walk Baby E to the door. The walk only takes us a minute or two to complete. Then I pick her up, hug her, put her back down, and watch her run inside. After that, it’s back to my car to go home and get ready for work.

As I was on my way back to my car yesterday morning, I heard someone yell, “Uncle Revis!” I turned around to see my niece running up to me. She jumped up into my arms (which was not good for my back, but I wasn’t about to complain) and hugged me. Right after I put her down, I was forgotten by her as she raced inside to be with her cousin until school started  (she’s in second grade while Baby E is in kindergarten).

I passed my sister in law on my way to my car as she sat in the drop off line. We said our hellos and then she asked me why I didn’t just drop Baby E off like that. I could’ve told her it’s because her sister wants me to do it that way (which is true). Mrs. Revis still hasn’t come to terms with our daughter being in kindergarten and is a little freaked out about the thought of just dropping her off.  There’s always at least one teacher out there  (though usually two or three), and you can watch from your car until they make it into the building, but she still worries.

I just shrugged the question off. 

I could’ve easily given the “my wife wants me to do it this way” excuse, but that’s not why I do it that way. The truth is that I want to do it that way. I want to do that little bit of walking with her. I want to spend that few minutes of extra time with her.

Every morning, when I park, as soon as she shuts the car door, her hand immediately comes up and grabs mine. She only needs to hold my hand when we’re crossing the street, but she doesn’t let go until we reach the school doors and I love every second of it. I know I need to cherish these moments now because it won’t be long until holding Daddy’s hand won’t be cool anymore. 

So, for now, I’m going to keep parking my car and enjoy having my little girl’s hand in mine until we get to the door.

It’s Happening

Today, Mrs. Revis and I went up to school with Baby E to meet her kindergarten teacher. She starts classes on Thursday.

My baby girl is five years old now. She’s about to start school. It seems like only a few weeks ago that we were driving her home from the hospital, going incredibly slow because we were freaking out.

Now she has her own little personality. She has friends at school already (that she went to preschool with last year). Every time she saw one tonight, they would holler each other’s name and hug each other. Her best friend from preschool last year (a little boy who loves Elvis) ended up in her class and she was so excited.

Every night, she wants me to tell her a story. Even though she’s got dozens of books, she doesn’t want me to read to her. She wants me to make one up on the spot for her. When I get done, she’ll either give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. Tonight’s story was about a butterfly who got stuck in a spider web, but was able to escape before the spider got it. She gave me the thumbs down because “it’s not real”. I told her that a butterfly could, in fact, get caught in a spider web and then she started crying because “it was real”.

Sigh….

She got her ears pierced a few weeks ago. We warned her beforehand that it would hurt when they did it, but she said she didn’t care….until they did it. Then it was a slow burn. For the first few seconds, she didn’t do anything. The tears came slowly after that, until she buried her face into a stuffed animal they let her hold and bawled uncontrollably. Unfortunately, I was at work when my wife took her to get this done. While I watched the video, I wanted to reach into the phone, pick her up, and comfort her.

She’s got glasses now, too. They noticed she wasn’t seeing everything the way she should when my wife took her in for her five-year-old checkup. When she wears them, she looks even older.

Like all parents, I’m wondering where the time has gone. She used to be a tiny little thing. Now she’s a kindergartener. She used to need me to do everything for her. Now she doesn’t want me to do anything for her. She wants to do it herself.

She’s growing up.

I don’t want it to stop. I just want it to slow down just a little.

RTotD: 073117

There are a lot of movies out there that don’t get the credit they deserve for being badass. The one that’s been bouncing around my head today is Lucky Number Slevin. This movie is amazing. 

Not only is it a well written script, but the cast is awesome too: Bruce Willis, Morgan Freeman, Lucy Liu, Josh Hartnett, Ben Kingsley, Stanley Tucci. Hell, it’s even got Bubba from Forrest Gump in there (Yes, I realize he has a real name, but if I put Mykelti Williamson, how many of you would really know who I was talking about?).

Anyways,  if you haven’t seen it yet, it’s on Netflix. You should really check it out. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed. 

How to Properly Choose Food.

Me: *puts box of Pop Tarts in shopping cart*

Mrs. Revis: Why are you getting those? I thought you didn’t like that flavor.

Me: It’s not that I don’t like them, I just think other flavors are better.

Mrs. Revis: Why don’t you put those back and get a flavor you like better?

Me: Because those other flavors don’t have Batman on them. 

And Fiction’s Greatest Assassin Is….

Deadpool!

With 46.6% of the vote, the Merc With the Mouth has won the title of Fiction’s Greatest Assassin in this episode of Versus.

Tied for second, with 13.3 % of the vote were Fitz and Lord Vetinari.

The rest all tied for third with 6.6% of the vote.

I want to take the time to thank all of the wonderful people who submitted answers for this poll. I’d also like to take the time to thank everyone who voted in the poll. I hope everyone thought this experiment was a fun one.

If you have an idea for a Versus question I should submit for answers, feel free to leave it in the comments.

Have a good night everyone.