RTotD: 21092

There’s a sign up where I work that says: “Start your day on purpose.”

I’m pretty sure it was meant to say “Start your day with purpose.”, but I had to be sure. So, I asked my manager, “Is there any other way? How exactly does one start their day on accident?”

I have yet to receive an answer.

Win

I don’t normally buy physical copies of books anymore because, quite frankly, I don’t really have much room to store them. When I saw that I could pre-order a signed copy of this for the same price as a normal copy, though, I had to do it. I realize that this is a cookie cutter signature that he probably did on thousands of copies of this book, but I don’t care. This is still awesome.

Win is the biggest badass in fiction.

Don’t Tell (Original Version)

I mentioned in the comments of my post Don’t Tell that there was a previous version of the story that I thought was funnier, but I didn’t post it because it could be considered kinda creepy. Well, the funny part has now won out and I decided that I’m going to go ahead and post the original idea I had for this story. Hopefully, you all find this more funny than creepy.

She looked around at the clothes thrown all over the floor in horror. “What have we done?” she asked.

“I don’t know about you, but I just had sex.”

“I’m being serious,” she huffed as she started getting dressed. “That was wrong.”

“Why was it wrong?” the young woman replied. “I’m over eighteen. What we did was perfectly legal. What’s the problem?”

“The problem is that I’m married to your father!”

Public Service Announcement from the Taco Party

We here at the Taco Party have already told you about how tacos are the answer to every political quandary there is. Minimum wage debate answer? Tacos. Stimulus debate answer? Tacos. Environmental issues? Tacos.

What you may not know is that tacos are also the cure for a number of health and mood problems. We have come up with a list of the health problems that can be cured by tacos so that you can all benefit from their healing effects.

HEALTH RELATED ISSUES THAT ARE CURED BY TACOS:

  • Hunger
  • Bad Mood
  • Sadness
  • Constipation (if the tacos are purchased at Taco Bell)
  • Being Hangry
  • and many more!!

Also, for those of you out there searching for the meaning of life, I have the answer for you. It’s tacos.

Don’t Tell

She looked around at the clothes thrown all over the floor in horror. “What have we done?” she asked.

“I don’t know about you, but I just had sex.”

“I’m being serious,” she huffed as she started getting dressed. “He can’t know.”

“Ok.”

“Don’t tell him.”

“Do you really think I’m going to start the next conversation I have with my brother by saying, ‘Hey man, I’m nailing your wife’?”

Just then, his phone rang. “Is it him?” she asked nervously.

“Relax,” he sighed. “It’s just one of my grandkids.”

X of Swords

My Marvel Unlimited reading is still going strong. I’ve noticed, however, that about half of the current titles I read are X-Men comics. The reason I noticed this is because, for at least the time being, I’ve stopped reading them.

The reason I’ve stopped reading them is because they’re doing a big crossover story that involves all of them called X of Swords. To put it mildly, I’m not a fan of this story. I’ve debated on whether or not to go into detail about what I don’t like about it, but I think I’ll just generalize on the off chance that I’ll spoil it for someone.

Basically, the whole story is the Marvel version of Mortal Kombat. The overall premise is that a certain number of mutants needs to defeat a certain number of bad guys in one-on-one sword fights otherwise the bad guys will destroy Earth. Sure, there’s other little side stories, but that is the main element.

Now, I might be able to deal with a plot that lame if it was a clear, concise story. It’s not. There’s too many characters spaced out between too many different titles. Even if you read them in order, it still seems jumbled and jumps around.

I hope this story ends soon. I’d like to go back to reading good X-Men material.

Good Day

He gave half a smile.

This was the best day he had in a long time. He didn’t have to work. Somehow, he managed to sleep in well past when his alarm normally went off. When he finally did wake up, he found a text message waiting for him from the girl he really liked. Over and over in his mind, he went over all of the good things that happened to him that day.

It was almost enough to allow him to block out the pain as his flesh was devoured by demons.