20 Questions 

George Carlin had this bit called “A list of people who ought to be killed”. In it, he’d talk about people who did things to annoy him and come up with imaginative ways for them to die. It was George Carlin, so it worked for him. I thought most of it was funny.

I, however, can’t pull off something like that. Despite how badly someone annoys me, I can’t wish death upon them. I may wish for them to get a bad itch in their butt crack while they’re talking to someone they hope to impress, but that’s beside the point.

There are people out there that I don’t like to be around. That’s life. You’re not going to like everyone you meet and not everyone you meet is going to like you. That’s just the way it is.

Recently, I’ve come across someone who has come the closest to making me question whether I  should add someone to George Carlin’s list. It makes me feel bad saying that, because he’s actually a nice guy, but he is, by far, the most annoying person I’ve ever met.

First of all, he has almost the same voice as Billy Bob Thornton in Sling Blade. That, in itself, is kind of annoying. When you add in that all he does with that voice is ask questions, it’s exponentially more annoying.

Don’t get me wrong, I  don’t normally have a problem with people asking questions. That’s how we learn. And, since I have been training him at work, it’s to be expected. However, he asks me questions that he should already know the answer to…repeatedly…all day long.

And answering one of his questions is an ordeal, because after you answer it, he’ll repeat back what you said in the form of a question. You’ll confirm that you, in fact, did say that. Then, he’ll ask you the same question, only this time, it’ll be slightly different. It’s still the same question. He just changed a couple of the words.

For example: Our warehouse has two trash compactors. One is for cardboard  (so we can recycle it) and the other is for the rest of the trash. One day we had a bunch of boxes that had packing materials in them. He asked me what he should do with them.

Me: Empty the packing material into the regular dumpster and throw the boxes into the cardboard dumpster. (Pretty straightforward, right?)

Sling Blade: So, you want me to dump what’s in the boxes out into the normal dumpster and throw the boxes themselves into the cardboard one?

Me: Yeah.

Sling Blade: Ok, so I should put the trash inside the boxes into the dumpster, but throw the boxes where the cardboard goes?

Me: (angrily) Yes.

Sling Blade: So….

The sad part is, I’m not making any of that up. That was an actual conversation. And he kept going afterwards. He must’ve found three other ways to repeat that back to me before I finally just walked away.

This isn’t a rare occurrence either. That is every single conversation you have with him. Talking to him is like playing 20 Questions with somebody and they use all 20 questions to ask the same thing. And, also like 20 questions, nobody really wins. It’s just a big waste of time.

I don’t like saying that I  hate somebody, especially someone who is a nice person,  but I hate being around this guy. If I wasn’t already on blood pressure medicine, he would cause me to have to start taking it.

Less Pressure 

It’s been a while since I last posted. Back then, I said I was going to take some time off to contemplate the future of this blog. To be honest, those first few weeks, I really didn’t think about the blog at all. I read some books, wrote some more in the ones that I’ve been working on, and spent some time with the two prettiest girls in the whole world.

As time went on, however, something would happen that would make me think, “That’d make a good blog post.” Or I’d see something on Facebook and say, “I could easily turn that into a post.”

The problem remained the same, though. How do I go about blogging without it seeming to drag me down?

Like most solutions, the answer was quite simple: Less pressure.

Before my break, I was always trying to post a certain amount a week, and when I wasn’t able to do that, I’d get frustrated. When I’d get frustrated, it made me want to blog less.

When I first started blogging, I never cared about things like post counts, or number of likes, or comments. It was just about getting the things in my head out there. It was that simple. And, from now on, that’s how it’s going to be again. 

I will post only when I have the time, and inclination, to do so. If people read it, like it, or comment on it, that’s great. If not… oh well. There are much bigger things for me to worry about than that. Namely, making sure my wife and daughter are happy and taken care of. 

Worth It

Over two weeks ago, I did my second contest to see if anyone could guess what my character’s name DICO stood for. As a prize for someone who guessed correctly, I was willing to send them a signed copy of my book.

There were a grand total of zero guesses.

At the moment I’m torn between feeling relieved that I don’t have to pay shipping costs and feeling insulted because nobody thought it was worth it to try to guess what DICO was an anagram for. I think I’ll stick right down the middle on this one.

While I was thinking about the previous paragraph, the phrase “worth it” stuck out to me. For quite a while now, I’ve wondered if it was worth it to keep this blog going. Continue reading

There’s Still Time, Take 2

If you want to win a signed copy of the book that Matticus and I wrote, you still have a chance. All you need to do is make 3 guesses as to what DICO stands for. If one of them is correct, you win! Easy enough, right?

Just make sure you get your guesses into the comments by 12:01  EST Tuesday morning.

 

DICO – Things To Come

The Boss watched the replay of the press conference the news ran the following morning and tried not to laugh. They were anointing a man whose superpowers were detachable nipples as the city’s savior. He had been bothered by the last man who practiced vigilantism here, but that buffoon had been dealt with. His criminal career had barely started back then. Now he was the most powerful man in the city. The question now was what to do about the new guy.

This DICO had already foiled one of his jobs. Granted, the two men who he had beaten were just low level thugs. If The Boss was really worried about making sure he killed the shop owner, he would’ve sent better men.

Continue reading

And the Winner IS……….

…..the only person who entered.

Ok, technically two people entered the contest, but since Ra is so awesome (and because she already has a copy of my book) she withdrew her name from consideration so I would give the book to Paula. Congratulations! You’ve won yourself the greatest book ever (Once again, I may be biased).

So, once again this quest of mine to try to have a fun debate about who’s the greatest archer in fiction ends in spectacular failure. I don’t get it. Is this a question that’s not as interesting as I think it is? Is asking for a separate post too much? Does nobody read my blog? Or, is it a combination of all of the above?

It’s probably just as well. I can’t figure out how to do a poll on this new posting set up anyway. I’m sure one of my fellow bloggers could help me out with it, but there’s no point now.

I am still curious who everyone thinks is the greatest archer in fiction, however, so feel free to let me know in the comments.

Have a good night everybody!