How to Properly Choose Food.

Me: *puts box of Pop Tarts in shopping cart*

Mrs. Revis: Why are you getting those? I thought you didn’t like that flavor.

Me: It’s not that I don’t like them, I just think other flavors are better.

Mrs. Revis: Why don’t you put those back and get a flavor you like better?

Me: Because those other flavors don’t have Batman on them. 

And Fiction’s Greatest Assassin Is….

Deadpool!

With 46.6% of the vote, the Merc With the Mouth has won the title of Fiction’s Greatest Assassin in this episode of Versus.

Tied for second, with 13.3 % of the vote were Fitz and Lord Vetinari.

The rest all tied for third with 6.6% of the vote.

I want to take the time to thank all of the wonderful people who submitted answers for this poll. I’d also like to take the time to thank everyone who voted in the poll. I hope everyone thought this experiment was a fun one.

If you have an idea for a Versus question I should submit for answers, feel free to leave it in the comments.

Have a good night everyone.

Either/Or

I titled the post that because I wasn’t sure what I should call it. I was torn between two options. It was either going to be called “A Conversation That Shows How Our Minds Work”, or “Proof That Our Minds Don’t Work”. I’ll let you decide.

(Actual lines of email from between Matticus and myself)

Matticus: Flog some Molly, my friend!  They are a lot of fun.  Catching tunes.  Upbeat… in the same vein as The Offspring in some aspects… Kind of punk, kind of pop, … good strong guitar riffs, with the added bonus of an Irish vocalist.  Anyway, I think you’d like them.  Some of their stuff is available on Prime Music if you have that… 

Revis: Who’s Molly and why are they flogging her? And why are they breaking Benjamin too?

M: And what did Ben fold five of?

R: Why are they dropkicking Murphys?

M: I really don’t know. I don’t know why those Lips are Flaming either… 

R: It is a mystery. Just like who exactly it was that God smacked.

M: I will admit, I have always wanted to know the answer to that. Also, I wish I knew what Foo was, and if they had their own Fighters or there were Fighters going after the Foo…

R: According to Robot Chicken ‘Foo’ is anyone that Mr. T called a fool. As in, ,’I pity the foo!” So Grohl and Co. went around beating up anyone who Mr. T said that to. It ended with Mr. T calling himself a fool and the Foo fighters kicking his ass.

I’m still wondering how the Leppard became Def.

M:I hadn’t heard that before!  It’s brilliant!!

And, that poor Leppard.  These things happen sometimes…  Life can be cruel… 

Like… why did all those kids going around Smashing Pumpkins?

R: Damn kids…

And how does one Pilot a Stone Temple?

M: That is a fine question… I … I don’t know the answer to that either.

And, you know what else I’ve been wondering? 

Why are we supposed to be Counting Crows?  What’s with that?

R: A favor for Alex Proyas?

And why do they keep poor Alice in Chains?

M: Honestly, Alice knows why she is in chains, and that’s good enough for me.

I’m not sure why they switched their head out with a radio, though…  I mean, I love music, but I don’t think I’d swap my head for a radio…

R: Doesn’t seem worth the effort.

And how does a deadman have a theory? And what would it be if he has one?

M: Maybe it would have something to do with The Killers? I don’t know.

You know what else I don’t know? What’s a Volta?  And what does it have to do with Mars?

R: I don’t know, but do you think the killers used a Velvet Revolver?

M: Velvet Revolver is my favorite weapon of choice…  it’s sexy and classic… It’s a good combination.

You know what else is a good combo? Guns and Roses. I believe Stephen King would agree with me on that.

R: Sorry to change the subject, but I need some help with something I’m going to put in my yard. Do you know how to make a Soundgarden?

M: Hmmm, you know, I’ve heard of those but I’ve never installed one myself.  Should be awesome once it’s done, though.  I’m jealous.

Oh! That reminds me.  I went to the ocean the other day and heard this Pearl Jam!

R: I heard that there’s this group called Audio that kidnaps people and sells them off. I don’t know about you, but I would hate to be an Audioslave.

M: Definitely.  I’d hate being an Audioslave, too.  Too many spoons and black holes for me.

I wouldn’t mind living on E Street though, they’ve got one heck of a Band.

R: I’d stay away from Tom Petty if I were you. I heard he’s got quite the crew of Heartbreakers.

M: I’d heard that too. I’ll do my best to avoid them on my path to Nirvana.

R: You realize that anyone who read all of these would probably think we’re crazy for joking around like this. I’d hate for some psychiatrist to get ahold of these and use them as an excuse to force us into joining an insane clown posse.

M: Wait!  You mean you aren’t already part of an Insane Clown Posse? I thought you were. I thought we had that in common… I thought we were … Family

R: Nothing about anything I do is insane….

By the way, have I ever shown you my Alien Ant Farm?

M: No… but you did show me your Spacehog. It was disturbing.

R: I don’t have a Spacehog. I think you’ve taken one too many hits off of the Verve Pipe.

M: You have no proof of that.

I have never…

Well…

Okay…

Maybe that one time.  But that wasn’t my fault.  The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy put a spell on me!  I had no choice!

R: Just remember that in this life you will always be Better Than Ezra, but Less Than Jake

M: U2, my friend.  U2.

Versus: 0205

Hey, everybody. It’s time for the newest episode of Versus. This time it will be a battle royal, with you, the readers deciding the outcome. A week ago, I put up a post asking for you to tell me who you think Fiction’s Greatest Assassin is. I received a good number of answers. So, I will be putting the nominees in a list below, along with the arguments that the people who nominated made for them. At the bottom of the page, I will be putting a poll up for everyone to vote on.

If you are one of the people who nominated a character, be sure to tell everyone to come vote. We want this to be biggest voter turnout yet for Versus (though that’s not going to take much, to be honest).

ONTO THE BATTLE!!!

  1. Nominated by Jessie : Fitz – hands down.
    Because he’s an excellent assassin but he can’t ever seem to control his heart. Which thinking about it doesn’t make him unique in the assassin world… perhaps it’s just that last time I read a book with him in it Robin Hobb had me convinced that *I* had a black eye, that I was actually Fitz. And when a writer sucks you in that completely how can you not love their character?
  2. Jodi Lea says: I’m thinking Medusa. Why? Because she seduced her prey to come to her, and because she really rocked a bad-hair day.
  3. faithhopechocolate weighed in with: Lord Vetinari, patrician of Ankh Morpork. Why? Because he graduated from the Guild of Assassins and now rules the city and surrounding areas, having created peace by being a quiet but reasonable tyrant who hasn’t done any killing himself for years that we know of, by using all the tricks he learnt about sneaking around and gathering information so that the Guild of Assassins have actually taken him off their books.
  4. Jaded’s choice is: Anton Chigurh. Pure business, no compassion, and to my knowledge has never been caught.
  5. Firewaves21 has the opinion: I think the white walkers might be fictions greatest assassins. Those guys are bad ass and pretty darn scary. I know we are all waiting on the edge our seats to see if anyone, anything, can defeat them. eeeek
  6. djmatticus has his two cents: Fictions greatest assassin is: la femme Nikita.
    She starts as a drug addict, is forced into an impossible decision, makes the best of it through force of will, and ends up surpassing the people who trained her.
  7. And last, because that’s how I roll, is my choice: Deadpool. There’s a book that’s called “Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe” that shows Deadpool assassinating every single Marvel character there is. Spider-Man, Hulk, Captain America, even Galactus. If you can kill every Marvel character there is, then you are Fiction’s Greatest Assassin. Plus, you know, he’s Deadpool, so that also makes him Fiction’s Coolest Assassin.

There you have it folks. There are the choices. Be sure to cast your vote in the poll below. Good luck to everyone who nominated someone.

Two Thoughts

As you can tell from the title, this short post will be about two thoughts I had this morning. The first is more of a planned thought, while the other is another instance of the randomness that bounces around my head.

Thought #1: If you haven’t added your choice for Fiction’s Greatest Assassin yet, Please go comment on this post right here. Any entry received before midnight (my time) on Monday will be put into a poll to see who the blogosphere thinks is Fiction’s Greatest Assassin.

Thought #2: Twisted Metal 2 was an awesome game. I wasn’t a fan of any of the other Twisted Metal games, but 2 was great.

Anyways, I hope you all have a nice weekend!