And Fiction’s Greatest Assassin Is….

Deadpool!

With 46.6% of the vote, the Merc With the Mouth has won the title of Fiction’s Greatest Assassin in this episode of Versus.

Tied for second, with 13.3 % of the vote were Fitz and Lord Vetinari.

The rest all tied for third with 6.6% of the vote.

I want to take the time to thank all of the wonderful people who submitted answers for this poll. I’d also like to take the time to thank everyone who voted in the poll. I hope everyone thought this experiment was a fun one.

If you have an idea for a Versus question I should submit for answers, feel free to leave it in the comments.

Have a good night everyone.

Versus: 0205

Hey, everybody. It’s time for the newest episode of Versus. This time it will be a battle royal, with you, the readers deciding the outcome. A week ago, I put up a post asking for you to tell me who you think Fiction’s Greatest Assassin is. I received a good number of answers. So, I will be putting the nominees in a list below, along with the arguments that the people who nominated made for them. At the bottom of the page, I will be putting a poll up for everyone to vote on.

If you are one of the people who nominated a character, be sure to tell everyone to come vote. We want this to be biggest voter turnout yet for Versus (though that’s not going to take much, to be honest).

ONTO THE BATTLE!!!

  1. Nominated by Jessie : Fitz – hands down.
    Because he’s an excellent assassin but he can’t ever seem to control his heart. Which thinking about it doesn’t make him unique in the assassin world… perhaps it’s just that last time I read a book with him in it Robin Hobb had me convinced that *I* had a black eye, that I was actually Fitz. And when a writer sucks you in that completely how can you not love their character?
  2. Jodi Lea says: I’m thinking Medusa. Why? Because she seduced her prey to come to her, and because she really rocked a bad-hair day.
  3. faithhopechocolate weighed in with: Lord Vetinari, patrician of Ankh Morpork. Why? Because he graduated from the Guild of Assassins and now rules the city and surrounding areas, having created peace by being a quiet but reasonable tyrant who hasn’t done any killing himself for years that we know of, by using all the tricks he learnt about sneaking around and gathering information so that the Guild of Assassins have actually taken him off their books.
  4. Jaded’s choice is: Anton Chigurh. Pure business, no compassion, and to my knowledge has never been caught.
  5. Firewaves21 has the opinion: I think the white walkers might be fictions greatest assassins. Those guys are bad ass and pretty darn scary. I know we are all waiting on the edge our seats to see if anyone, anything, can defeat them. eeeek
  6. djmatticus has his two cents: Fictions greatest assassin is: la femme Nikita.
    She starts as a drug addict, is forced into an impossible decision, makes the best of it through force of will, and ends up surpassing the people who trained her.
  7. And last, because that’s how I roll, is my choice: Deadpool. There’s a book that’s called “Deadpool Kills the Marvel Universe” that shows Deadpool assassinating every single Marvel character there is. Spider-Man, Hulk, Captain America, even Galactus. If you can kill every Marvel character there is, then you are Fiction’s Greatest Assassin. Plus, you know, he’s Deadpool, so that also makes him Fiction’s Coolest Assassin.

There you have it folks. There are the choices. Be sure to cast your vote in the poll below. Good luck to everyone who nominated someone.

The Results Are In!!!

I know I said that I’d put the results of the previous matchup on Versus into the next matchup post, but I’m feeling lazy tonight. I don’t feel like doing a new matchup, so I’m just going to inform you all of the results of the matchup between Matticus‘ Jason Nesmith (Galaxy Quest) and my Portia Lin (Dark Matter).

Receiving 70% of the votes, the winner is…..

Portia Lin!

I want to thank all of you who took the time to cast your votes. Stay tuned for the next episode of Versus. Have a good night, everybody.

Versus: Season 2 Episode 4

It’s the Versus that you’ve all been waiting for! It’s the long anticipated rematch between Matticus and I!

Well, I’m sure at least one of you were anxiously awaiting it anyway.

The first order of business, however, is declaring the winner of the previous Versus post. In Episode 3, I asked you to vote for which of the three Summers brothers was the most badass. Once again, the results didn’t go for who I voted for. You said that Gabriel, or Vulcan as he’s more widely known, was that answer. It’s hard to argue that. After all, he did conquer the Shi’ar Empire. In defense of Alex (Havok), who I voted for, in the War of the Kings storyline, Havok was able to absorb the energy of an entire star and use it to hurt Vulcan pretty badly. Just as Havok was about to put him down for good, he got interrupted and Vulcan managed to escape. Of course, once he had recovered, Vulcan went back to kicking everyone’s ass. There was that one moment though….

The question posed to Matticus and me for this matchup was, “Who is the best starship captain?” Naturally, we both had the same answer at first. The only possible answer to that question is Captain Terry Dadam of The Erratic Sun. Nobody else is even close. Again, we may be biased. So, the question had to be changed to, “Besides him, who is the best starship captain?”

Here is his answer:

Versus: Season 2 Episode 3

I think I finally have this poll thing worked out. If you look at my last Versus post, you’ll notice that the poll is actually closed. It turns out that you have to close them manually. What I thought was the length of time that the poll ran was actually the amount of time that could pass between the same person (IP address) being able to vote. I guess I need to pay more attention to what it says above the dropdown options instead of what’s inside of them.

Now that I’ve got this sorted, I’m going to be doing them for all future Versus posts. Matticus and I will be doing a rematch sometime to make up for the fiasco that was our first attempt (although we haven’t decided yet what the matchup will be). I’m also willing to go toe to toe with anyone else that wants to jump into the proverbial arena with me. If you’d like to challenge me in Versus, fill out the form below.

Also, I will be giving the results of the previous matchup in the new posts, if you don’t feel like going back to the old posts to look it up. In Episode 2, I asked who you all thought was the more annoying video game party member, Carth (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic), Sera (Dragon Age: Inquisition), or Louis (Left 4 Dead). The results are in and, despite the fact that I voted for Sera, the winner of this matchup was……. Carth! The people have spoken, Carth, and they said that you annoy the crap out of them.

This Episode’s Matchup:

MOST BADASS SUMMERS BROTHER: SCOTT (CYCLOPS) VS. ALEX (HAVOK) VS. GABRIEL (VULCAN)

I’m going to get lazy with this one. Instead of trying to describe them all to you, I’m just going to “borrow” what’s already written about them at ComicVine.

Scott: Cyclops possesses the mutant ability to project powerful beams of heatless force from his eyes, which act as extra-dimensional apertures to a source of pure energy. Cyclops constantly absorbs ambient sunlight into his body’s cells, metabolizing the energy in order to open the apertures. The maximum force of Cyclops’ blasts is unknown, but a commonly given description is that they can “punch holes through mountains”, and he has been shown rupturing steel plates and pulverizing solid rock. It has been stated that Cyclops uses only a fraction of his vast potential energy output. His more powerful optic blasts can demolish fully-armored tanks, severely damage Sentinels, and obliterate entire icebergs. Cyclops’ mutation has been altered after his prolonged exposure to the Phoenix Force, resulting in a much greater power output.

Alex: Havok is a extremely powerful mutant possessing the power to absorb ambient cosmic energy, process it and emanate it from his body as waves of energy that heat the air in the path, turning it into plasma in the form of a blast or discharge, with a tell-tale concentric circle pattern. These waves will emanate from his body in all directions unless he purposefully tries to channel them in a single direction, usually along the length of his arms. This results in control over an extremely powerful sort of destructive force. He is immune to the adverse effects of most forms of radiation and heat. In the past, he was not entirely able to control this ability, which made him a danger to those around him unless he wore a special containment suit equipped with special sensors for measuring and controlling his power output. Havok is immune to his own powers and to those of his brother Scott. He is resistant but not immune to Vulcan’s powers.

Gabriel: Vulcan is an omega level mutant. He can manipulate all forms of energy. Charles Xavier commented that he is the most powerful energy manipulator he has ever come across. His psionic powers even allow him to control the psionic powers of others as he was able to control Rachel Summers’ telepathy and prevent her from actually accessing her telekinesis or telepathy without his consent (though she later learned to prevent him from inhibiting her). He can also control more esoteric energies like Cyclops’ optic force blasts and Adam Warlock’s spells. Vulcan also appears able to absorb energies from almost any source. Vulcan has similar powers to that of his brothers, as they are each able to absorb certain kinds of energies and rechannel that energy from their bodies. Though his brothers, Cyclops and Havok, are known to be immune to each others powers, they are apparently not immune to Vulcan’s (he manages to hurt Cyclops with no apparent trouble). This may be due to Vulcan’s extremely high power level or his ability to control energies.

So, dear readers, which mutant Summers brother do you think is the most badass? Vote now!

Versus: Season 2 Episode 2

Ok, I’ll admit it. The first post of the second “season” of Versus didn’t go as planned. Matticus and I both made our pitches and waited for our awesome readers to vote in the poll. Then, the time came for the poll to end…. only it never did. At last glance, which was about a week ago, it was still active. I’m still not sure what happened there.

At some point, Matt and I are going to go to battle in the virtual arena that is Versus again, but I need to iron out the kinks in the system first. So, with that in mind, I’m going to subject you all to some of my regular Versus posts, only I’m going to start including polls on those. That way I can practice, and hopefully figure out what I did wrong the last time, before we have our rematch. Unlike my older Versus episodes, however, I’m only going to be doing one matchup per post.

Let’s try this poll thing again. Onto the matchup!

MORE ANNOYING VIDEO GAME PARTY MEMBER: CARTH (STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC) VS. SERA (DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION) VS. LOUIS (LEFT 4 DEAD)

We’ve got us a three way battle. I also had a Three Way for dinner (which means nothing to you unless you’re from the Cincinnati area), but that’s beside the point. This matchup consists of three characters from video games that I have spent a lot of time playing. I’m pretty sure that I’ve logged over 100 hours on each of them. So, these characters have had a lot of time to get under my skin. Let’s go through them one by one, shall we?

Up first is Carth. He is the first actual party member you pick up in KOTOR. Then, he spends the rest of the game annoying the crap out of you. He goes on some whiny tangent about how he doesn’t trust anyone anymore because he was betrayed before. If you take the time to ask him about it, he gets defensive and snaps at you. As the story progresses, if you keep asking him about it, he reveals that the person who betrayed him was his mentor and the betrayal was the bombardment of his home planet which led to the deaths of his wife and child (Although, you find out later in the game that his child survived and turned to the dark side). Granted, if my wife and child were killed, I’d be devastated, but I don’t think I’d be a whiny ass and blame it on everyone I meet. I beat this game at least 5 times and I think the only time I talked to Carth enough to get the side quest that involved his kid was the first time. I couldn’t take it for any of the others.

Next is Sera. In Dragon Age, certain people have accents that mimic those that are on Earth. For example, the Orlesians all speak in French accents. Sera, on the other hand, speaks in a heavy British accent. Normally, that wouldn’t bother me. When Sera speaks, however, she goes 100 miles an hour. I can’t understand most of what she says she’s usually talking so fast. Even when you have the text appear on the screen and read it, most of what she says is still nonsense. She uses metaphors that just don’t make sense to me. Her answers to questions are usually vague and leave you with more questions than when you started. I won’t even talk to her anymore unless it’s absolutely necessary to complete a quest.

And last is Louis. Quite frankly, Louis is a little bitch. When any of the other characters from either of the Left 4 Dead games get entangled with one of the special infected (a hunter/smoker/jockey/what have you) they cry out for a teammate to help them out. Louis just cries. I looked for an audio clip so I could show you what I mean, but I couldn’t find one. The most annoying one is when he gets pounced on by a Hunter. He screams, “Get it off me! Get it off meeeeeeee!” while sobbing. Literally sobbing. If it wouldn’t lessen my chances of survival, I’d let the little bitch die every time.

But, who is more annoying? That is for you to decide, dear readers. I’m going to put up this here poll thing and hope it works correctly this time around. Cast your vote and let me know who you dislike having in your party the most. If I get it right this time, I’ll post a follow up with the winner in 8 days.

Versus: Season 2 Episode 1

Anyone who had read my blog for a while knows I used to do a series of post entitled Versus were I would pit two fictional or mythological characters in some type of competition and then I would tell you who I think would win. This time around, I thought I’d try something a little different. This time, you will hear a matchup and be given an argument for each. One of them is written by me. The other is written someone else. A poll will be left at the bottom of the post and we will let you, the reader decide who the winner is.

This week’s matchup is Duncan McLeod (Highlander) vs. Achilles (Greek myth).

Arguing for Duncan is Matt from The Matticus Kingdom:

Duncan McLeod, the Highlander, was the greatest swordsman ever. 

There is no room for discussion.  There is no potential rival.  He was the greatest.  He lived for centuries, and the nature of his being has meant he trained every day of his life to be the best with a sword.  Train, fight, win, repeat.  That was his entire existence since 1592 when he was born in the highlands of Scotland. 

Raised to be the next chieftain in a clan of warriors, Duncan ended up traveling the world again and again throughout his immortal lifespan.  He constantly learned and adopted the fighting styles of every culture he encountered, including: Irish bare-knuckle fighting, the craft of the Sioux, and the way of the Samurai.  All of the techniques he picked up, he practiced until he had perfected them and could seamlessly use them while fighting.

Additionally, he had the benefit of being able to make mistakes and learn from them, which is often said to be the best way to learn, because he could die and then rise up again with new knowledge that made him wiser and therefore a stronger warrior.  On top of being able to learn from his mistakes, Duncan spent years teaching others how to fight, which is also often said to be one of the best ways to learn.  You do not truly know a skill until you’ve taught it to someone else.

If all of that wasn’t enough, McLeod also inherited the skills and knowledge of any other immortal he killed in battle.  So, while he already had amassed an impossible array of skills and knowledge over his long life, he also had at his disposal the skills and knowledge of every immortal he had defeated, who had the skills and knowledge of every immortal they had defeated, and on and on.

In the end, when Duncan reached the source and the gathering came to a close, he was the only immortal remaining.  He had taken on the strength, power, and fighting skills of all the other immortal warriors who had ever existed since the four horsemen rode free near the beginning of recorded time.  He was the sum of all of their greatest attributes.  He won out through all the rest, which means his swordsmanship was better than all of them.

Who was the greatest swordsman ever, you ask? 

There could be only one, and it was Duncan McLeod.

 

And, here is my argument for Achilles:

 

Achilles, a name that has lived on for thousands of years. The greatest warrior among an army of legendary warriors. A man unequalled in battle. A man that will be remembered forever. 

What made Achilles so great? Was it his epic fighting skills? Was it his mythological immortality? Or was it that The Iliad, one of the most enduring stories of all time, is centered around him? 

Maybe it’s all of the above. 

Achilles bested anyone who ever challenged him. Hector, the greatest of all the Trojan warriors, was beaten easily. Achilles, in a show of dominance, then tied Hector’s body to the back of his chariot and paraded the corpse around the walls of Troy so that all could see who was truly the best.  

When the Greek army finally broke into the impenetrable walls surrounding Troy, it took the god Apollo to save the Trojans from feeling Achilles’ wrath. Some say that it was Paris that slew the immortal Achilles, but we all know the truth. It was Apollo in the guise of Paris. Nobody but a god could stop the wrath of Pelias’ son. 

And no gods are here now. 

 

Well, dear readers, who do you think would win in a fight, Duncan or Achilles? Vote below. Also, if you want to challenge me in the Versus Arena, leave me a comment and we’ll see what we can come up with together.