With 46.6% of the vote, the Merc With the Mouth has won the title of Fiction’s Greatest Assassin in this episode of Versus.
Tied for second, with 13.3 % of the vote were Fitz and Lord Vetinari.
The rest all tied for third with 6.6% of the vote.
I want to take the time to thank all of the wonderful people who submitted answers for this poll. I’d also like to take the time to thank everyone who voted in the poll. I hope everyone thought this experiment was a fun one.
If you have an idea for a Versus question I should submit for answers, feel free to leave it in the comments.
I know I said that I’d put the results of the previous matchup on Versus into the next matchup post, but I’m feeling lazy tonight. I don’t feel like doing a new matchup, so I’m just going to inform you all of the results of the matchup between Matticus‘ Jason Nesmith (Galaxy Quest) and my Portia Lin (Dark Matter).
Receiving 70% of the votes, the winner is…..
I want to thank all of you who took the time to cast your votes. Stay tuned for the next episode of Versus. Have a good night, everybody.
It’s the Versus that you’ve all been waiting for! It’s the long anticipated rematch between Matticus and I!
Well, I’m sure at least one of you were anxiously awaiting it anyway.
The first order of business, however, is declaring the winner of the previous Versus post. In Episode 3, I asked you to vote for which of the three Summers brothers was the most badass. Once again, the results didn’t go for who I voted for. You said that Gabriel, or Vulcan as he’s more widely known, was that answer. It’s hard to argue that. After all, he did conquer the Shi’ar Empire. In defense of Alex (Havok), who I voted for, in the War of the Kings storyline, Havok was able to absorb the energy of an entire star and use it to hurt Vulcan pretty badly. Just as Havok was about to put him down for good, he got interrupted and Vulcan managed to escape. Of course, once he had recovered, Vulcan went back to kicking everyone’s ass. There was that one moment though….
The question posed to Matticus and me for this matchup was, “Who is the best starship captain?” Naturally, we both had the same answer at first. The only possible answer to that question is Captain Terry Dadam of The Erratic Sun. Nobody else is even close. Again, we may be biased. So, the question had to be changed to, “Besides him, who is the best starship captain?”
Here is his answer:
Captain Jason Nesmith — Galaxy Quest (1999)
I will admit that Captain Jason Nesmith is an odd choice for best space captain. In the movie Galaxy Quest, Jason Nesmith is an actor who portrays a captain on a TV show, long cancelled, that lives on only through the legions of fans who demand their presence at annual conventions. He isn’t a talented actor. He isn’t a good leader. He isn’t particularly smart. He isn’t even all that likeable. However, it is for precisely these reasons that he becomes the greatest space captain, defying all odds to lead his crew of actors on a successful mission to defeat the evil General Sarris.
His only training was eighteen years prior to taking the helm for real, and that training was only simulation. He wasn’t groomed for the captaincy. He didn’t attend pilot school. He didn’t even know space flight was a real thing until he was called upon to perform at the highest level. And perform he did. First as the actor he had been and then rising to the occasion to be the true captain that was needed.
He had never been in combat before, let alone space combat. The only notion he had was his tagline from his TV show, Never give up. Never surrender. This approach caused him to make some giant mistakes after becoming a Captain for real. However, he learned from those mistakes and quickly adapted to his new role to devise a plan that worked.
He learns to respect his crew and ends up earning their respect as well. He learns to ask for help in situations where he is out of his depth. He learns what it means to rise up from a defeat. He learns what it means to act selflessly. It is this massive combined turn-around in his character that lifts him not just into the highest echelons of space captains but to the pinnacle of that group.
Who else could achieve so much with so little natural talent, so little professional training and experience, and surrounded by a crew who are equally lacking?
Best space captain? There is only one answer: Captain Jason Nesmith.
Now, here is my answer:
PORTIA LIN (DARK MATTER, SYFY)
Kirk, Picard, Solo, Reynolds. There were many of them out there with a higher name recognition factor that I could’ve chosen as my pick for the best starship captain. If you’ve ever watched Dark Matter (New episodes coming to SYFY soon, first two seasons on Netflix), you’ll know that none of them can match the sheer badassery of Portia Lin, leader of the Raza.
The Raza is a spaceship crewed by the scariest group of fighters in the galaxy. They were so good at what they did that rumors began spreading that the Raza is an alien race that kills everything in their path. In command of them is a woman named Portia Lin, the best of them all. Not only is she a skilled hand-to-hand fighter, she’s also very adept at pretty much any weapon she picks up. She’s kicked the ass of pretty much everyone she’s fought.
She can take it just as much as she can dish it out. Her body has been infused with nanites that will either let her avoid injury altogether, or let her recover quicker than should be possible. These nanites allowed her to cure herself of a virus that is usually 100% fatal to those who catch it. They even protected her and allowed her to survive in the vacuum of space.
Sure, you might be thinking to yourself, she’s a badass, but is she really a great captain? Of course she is.
The series starts with the crew of the Raza having their memories erased. Even with none of them remembering anything about their lives before waking up, they all still deferred to her leadership. She led them while they were trying to piece their pasts together. She led them while they were trying to stay one step ahead of the people behind them, even though they didn’t remember who they were running from. She held them together, even though the crew didn’t really trust each other, until they were betrayed by a crew member who had more information about their pasts than the rest.
After the betrayal, Portia and the crew found themselves thrown into the most secure prison in the galaxy. She was able to fight off repeated attempts on their lives, not only from fellow prisoners, but also from the warden. Portia rallied her crew, plus a few other prisoners, and mounted an escape from a place described as “impossible to break out of”
When one of her crew members asked her if they could break out of the impossible prison, she replied, “We‘re the crew of the Raza. You’re damn right we’re doing it.”
That is a Captain.
What do you think, folks? Which of those two contenders do you think better fits the bill of the best starship captain. Let us know with your votes.
I think I finally have this poll thing worked out. If you look at my last Versus post, you’ll notice that the poll is actually closed. It turns out that you have to close them manually. What I thought was the length of time that the poll ran was actually the amount of time that could pass between the same person (IP address) being able to vote. I guess I need to pay more attention to what it says above the dropdown options instead of what’s inside of them.
Now that I’ve got this sorted, I’m going to be doing them for all future Versus posts. Matticus and I will be doing a rematch sometime to make up for the fiasco that was our first attempt (although we haven’t decided yet what the matchup will be). I’m also willing to go toe to toe with anyone else that wants to jump into the proverbial arena with me. If you’d like to challenge me in Versus, fill out the form below.
Also, I will be giving the results of the previous matchup in the new posts, if you don’t feel like going back to the old posts to look it up. In Episode 2, I asked who you all thought was the more annoying video game party member, Carth (Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic), Sera (Dragon Age: Inquisition), or Louis (Left 4 Dead). The results are in and, despite the fact that I voted for Sera, the winner of this matchup was……. Carth! The people have spoken, Carth, and they said that you annoy the crap out of them.
This Episode’s Matchup:
MOST BADASS SUMMERS BROTHER: SCOTT (CYCLOPS) VS. ALEX (HAVOK) VS. GABRIEL (VULCAN)
I’m going to get lazy with this one. Instead of trying to describe them all to you, I’m just going to “borrow” what’s already written about them at ComicVine.
Scott: Cyclops possesses the mutant ability to project powerful beams of heatless force from his eyes, which act as extra-dimensional apertures to a source of pure energy. Cyclops constantly absorbs ambient sunlight into his body’s cells, metabolizing the energy in order to open the apertures. The maximum force of Cyclops’ blasts is unknown, but a commonly given description is that they can “punch holes through mountains”, and he has been shown rupturing steel plates and pulverizing solid rock. It has been stated that Cyclops uses only a fraction of his vast potential energy output. His more powerful optic blasts can demolish fully-armored tanks, severely damage Sentinels, and obliterate entire icebergs. Cyclops’ mutation has been altered after his prolonged exposure to the Phoenix Force, resulting in a much greater power output.
Alex: Havok is a extremely powerful mutant possessing the power to absorb ambient cosmic energy, process it and emanate it from his body as waves of energy that heat the air in the path, turning it into plasma in the form of a blast or discharge, with a tell-tale concentric circle pattern. These waves will emanate from his body in all directions unless he purposefully tries to channel them in a single direction, usually along the length of his arms. This results in control over an extremely powerful sort of destructive force. He is immune to the adverse effects of most forms of radiation and heat. In the past, he was not entirely able to control this ability, which made him a danger to those around him unless he wore a special containment suit equipped with special sensors for measuring and controlling his power output. Havok is immune to his own powers and to those of his brother Scott. He is resistant but not immune to Vulcan’s powers.
Gabriel: Vulcan is an omega level mutant. He can manipulate all forms of energy. Charles Xavier commented that he is the most powerful energy manipulator he has ever come across. His psionic powers even allow him to control the psionic powers of others as he was able to control Rachel Summers’ telepathy and prevent her from actually accessing her telekinesis or telepathy without his consent (though she later learned to prevent him from inhibiting her). He can also control more esoteric energies like Cyclops’ optic force blasts and Adam Warlock’s spells. Vulcan also appears able to absorb energies from almost any source. Vulcan has similar powers to that of his brothers, as they are each able to absorb certain kinds of energies and rechannel that energy from their bodies. Though his brothers, Cyclops and Havok, are known to be immune to each others powers, they are apparently not immune to Vulcan’s (he manages to hurt Cyclops with no apparent trouble). This may be due to Vulcan’s extremely high power level or his ability to control energies.
So, dear readers, which mutant Summers brother do you think is the most badass? Vote now!
Ok, I’ll admit it. The first post of the second “season” of Versus didn’t go as planned. Matticus and I both made our pitches and waited for our awesome readers to vote in the poll. Then, the time came for the poll to end…. only it never did. At last glance, which was about a week ago, it was still active. I’m still not sure what happened there.
At some point, Matt and I are going to go to battle in the virtual arena that is Versus again, but I need to iron out the kinks in the system first. So, with that in mind, I’m going to subject you all to some of my regular Versus posts, only I’m going to start including polls on those. That way I can practice, and hopefully figure out what I did wrong the last time, before we have our rematch. Unlike my older Versus episodes, however, I’m only going to be doing one matchup per post.
Let’s try this poll thing again. Onto the matchup!
MORE ANNOYING VIDEO GAME PARTY MEMBER: CARTH (STAR WARS: KNIGHTS OF THE OLD REPUBLIC) VS. SERA (DRAGON AGE: INQUISITION) VS. LOUIS (LEFT 4 DEAD)
We’ve got us a three way battle. I also had a Three Way for dinner (which means nothing to you unless you’re from the Cincinnati area), but that’s beside the point. This matchup consists of three characters from video games that I have spent a lot of time playing. I’m pretty sure that I’ve logged over 100 hours on each of them. So, these characters have had a lot of time to get under my skin. Let’s go through them one by one, shall we?
Up first is Carth. He is the first actual party member you pick up in KOTOR. Then, he spends the rest of the game annoying the crap out of you. He goes on some whiny tangent about how he doesn’t trust anyone anymore because he was betrayed before. If you take the time to ask him about it, he gets defensive and snaps at you. As the story progresses, if you keep asking him about it, he reveals that the person who betrayed him was his mentor and the betrayal was the bombardment of his home planet which led to the deaths of his wife and child (Although, you find out later in the game that his child survived and turned to the dark side). Granted, if my wife and child were killed, I’d be devastated, but I don’t think I’d be a whiny ass and blame it on everyone I meet. I beat this game at least 5 times and I think the only time I talked to Carth enough to get the side quest that involved his kid was the first time. I couldn’t take it for any of the others.
Next is Sera. In Dragon Age, certain people have accents that mimic those that are on Earth. For example, the Orlesians all speak in French accents. Sera, on the other hand, speaks in a heavy British accent. Normally, that wouldn’t bother me. When Sera speaks, however, she goes 100 miles an hour. I can’t understand most of what she says she’s usually talking so fast. Even when you have the text appear on the screen and read it, most of what she says is still nonsense. She uses metaphors that just don’t make sense to me. Her answers to questions are usually vague and leave you with more questions than when you started. I won’t even talk to her anymore unless it’s absolutely necessary to complete a quest.
And last is Louis. Quite frankly, Louis is a little bitch. When any of the other characters from either of the Left 4 Dead games get entangled with one of the special infected (a hunter/smoker/jockey/what have you) they cry out for a teammate to help them out. Louis just cries. I looked for an audio clip so I could show you what I mean, but I couldn’t find one. The most annoying one is when he gets pounced on by a Hunter. He screams, “Get it off me! Get it off meeeeeeee!” while sobbing. Literally sobbing. If it wouldn’t lessen my chances of survival, I’d let the little bitch die every time.
But, who is more annoying? That is for you to decide, dear readers. I’m going to put up this here poll thing and hope it works correctly this time around. Cast your vote and let me know who you dislike having in your party the most. If I get it right this time, I’ll post a follow up with the winner in 8 days.
Last week, I told you about how I’m on the fence about continuing with a story that I had started. I didn’t think that I had the time or effort to put into the research I’d need to do to give the story some credibility, to make it as good as I want it to be.
Well, I’ve decided to put that story on hold. It may be temporary, or it may be permanent. It just depends on whether I ever come to a time that I feel like I can finish it properly. I’d rather have an incomplete story that I’m happy with than a complete one that I don’t like.
The other post I’m going to be talking about is from way back in November. It was a post in my Versus series. In it, Matticus and I each made an argument on who would win in a fight. He chose Duncan McLeod. I chose Achilles. At the end of the post, I put a poll down at the bottom for people to vote on who they thought would win. I thought I had set up the poll to close after a week. Apparently, I was wrong. It’s still going.
Over three months have passed now, so I’m calling it. The winner is:
Although, to be honest, it should’ve been an 11-10 outcome instead of 12. I accidentally voted when I was trying to figure out if it was still active. Oops.
A big round of applause to Matt for playing along with me. Sorry for the technical difficulties…
I wouldn’t mind doing another of these posts, if anyone out there is interested in going up against me. Hopefully I’ll be able to iron out the poll glitches before then, though.
Anyone who had read my blog for a while knows I used to do a series of post entitled Versus were I would pit two fictional or mythological characters in some type of competition and then I would tell you who I think would win. This time around, I thought I’d try something a little different. This time, you will hear a matchup and be given an argument for each. One of them is written by me. The other is written someone else. A poll will be left at the bottom of the post and we will let you, the reader decide who the winner is.
This week’s matchup is Duncan McLeod (Highlander) vs. Achilles (Greek myth).
Duncan McLeod, the Highlander, was the greatest swordsman ever.
There is no room for discussion. There is no potential rival. He was the greatest. He lived for centuries, and the nature of his being has meant he trained every day of his life to be the best with a sword. Train, fight, win, repeat. That was his entire existence since 1592 when he was born in the highlands of Scotland.
Raised to be the next chieftain in a clan of warriors, Duncan ended up traveling the world again and again throughout his immortal lifespan. He constantly learned and adopted the fighting styles of every culture he encountered, including: Irish bare-knuckle fighting, the craft of the Sioux, and the way of the Samurai. All of the techniques he picked up, he practiced until he had perfected them and could seamlessly use them while fighting.
Additionally, he had the benefit of being able to make mistakes and learn from them, which is often said to be the best way to learn, because he could die and then rise up again with new knowledge that made him wiser and therefore a stronger warrior. On top of being able to learn from his mistakes, Duncan spent years teaching others how to fight, which is also often said to be one of the best ways to learn. You do not truly know a skill until you’ve taught it to someone else.
If all of that wasn’t enough, McLeod also inherited the skills and knowledge of any other immortal he killed in battle. So, while he already had amassed an impossible array of skills and knowledge over his long life, he also had at his disposal the skills and knowledge of every immortal he had defeated, who had the skills and knowledge of every immortal they had defeated, and on and on.
In the end, when Duncan reached the source and the gathering came to a close, he was the only immortal remaining. He had taken on the strength, power, and fighting skills of all the other immortal warriors who had ever existed since the four horsemen rode free near the beginning of recorded time. He was the sum of all of their greatest attributes. He won out through all the rest, which means his swordsmanship was better than all of them.
Who was the greatest swordsman ever, you ask?
There could be only one, and it was Duncan McLeod.
And, here is my argument for Achilles:
Achilles, a name that has lived on for thousands of years. The greatest warrior among an army of legendary warriors. A man unequalled in battle. A man that will be remembered forever.
What made Achilles so great? Was it his epic fighting skills? Was it his mythological immortality? Or was it that The Iliad, one of the most enduring stories of all time, is centered around him?
Maybe it’s all of the above.
Achilles bested anyone who ever challenged him. Hector, the greatest of all the Trojan warriors, was beaten easily. Achilles, in a show of dominance, then tied Hector’s body to the back of his chariot and paraded the corpse around the walls of Troy so that all could see who was truly the best.
When the Greek army finally broke into the impenetrable walls surrounding Troy, it took the god Apollo to save the Trojans from feeling Achilles’ wrath. Some say that it was Paris that slew the immortal Achilles, but we all know the truth. It was Apollo in the guise of Paris. Nobody but a god could stop the wrath of Pelias’ son.
And no gods are here now.
Well, dear readers, who do you think would win in a fight, Duncan or Achilles? Vote below. Also, if you want to challenge me in the Versus Arena, leave me a comment and we’ll see what we can come up with together.