Most Quoted Movie

My workplace is filled with a bunch of guys who like to quote movies. We’re all also a bunch of comic book nerds. So, you’d think that the movie we’d quote the most is either one of the Batman movies, or one of the new Marvel movies, or even other geek classics like Star Wars or Star Trek.

If you thought that, you’d be wrong.

The most quoted movie at my work is The Replacements. That’s right. The Replacements.

The reason for that is simple: When we close boxes, we do so with tape from our tape dispenser. The tape comes in large, dry rolls. As it is fed through the dispenser, it runs across a damp area, which makes it wet and activates the glue on it. The glue then gets all over your hand as you’re boxing things up. After a few minutes of this, it makes your hands look like Orlando Jones’ hands in this scene.

So, whenever one of us makes a bunch of boxes (which is an every day thing), we always say “You know this don’t look natural. You know it don’t.”

“Don’t talk.”

“Coach, I look like I just jacked off an elephant.”

That’s my workplace’s most quoted movie. What’s yours?

RTotD: 3/2

It’s that time again, everyone. It’s time for you to take a brief step into my brain. I promise to try and make it as painless as possible, but I guarantee nothing. If you start to experience any side effects, please consult your doctor immediately. We here at Stuphblog take no responsibility for it if you do. After all, it’s not our fault you’re intolerant of the 33 grams of awesome I bring…..or something.

  1. Political bumper stickers are about the most useless things ever. They don’t change anyone’s mind or make people want to vote. The only thing they do is make the car owner look stupid. Even if your side wins, after the election is over you’re stuck with an idiotic sticker on your car for the rest of its life.
  2. When did everyone become so obsessed with getting organized? All anyone is talking about anymore is totes. They’re only like $5 at the store. Just buy some and shut up about them already. And who the hell is Totes McGotes? Is he Rubbermaid’s new mascot or something?
  3. While on the local news website the other day, I saw this headline: Horse shot dead in Mason County. I have three things to say about that: One, I hope the person who did this gets kicked in the head repeatedly by the next horse that they are near. Two, why is this news? And three, why was this number six on their top ten list of most popular stories?
  4. Weren’t Flo’s 15 minutes of fame over with 15 minutes ago? What’s it going to take to get rid of this bitch finally?
  5. I like the way that children’s networks are set up. They play the entire episode, then play all of their commercials in between them. If only all TV networks worked this way.
  6. Before any of you go trying to explain number 2 to me, I know what totes means. I was just being a smartass. If you try to be a smartass and explain it to me anyways, I’ll find out where you live and put a political bumper sticker on your car. If you don’t have a car, I’ll put it on your forehead instead.

There you have it folks. The randomness that’s in my head is now spreading throughout the blogosphere. Unfortunately, there is no known cure yet.

The Further Exploits of Baby E

Don’t you hate those parents who do nothing but talk about their children?

Well, get ready to hate me, because that’s what I’m going to do.

  • When last you heard, Baby E was busy setting up a criminal underground with her cousin, Baby C. They’re still up to no good together, but I think they know we’re on to them. They’ve been a lot quieter since. Of course, now they’re in the stage of cutely mispronouncing each other’s names…. They’re trying to distract us from something.
  • A couple of nights ago, Baby E fell asleep in between Mrs. Revis and I while we were laying in bed. Mrs. Revis kissed her on the forehead before I picked her up to take her into her room. After I took a few steps, she started stirring. I stopped, to try to get her to go back to sleep. Baby E peeked her eyes open, looked at Mrs. Revis, waved “bye-bye”, then put her head back down on my shoulder and fell back asleep. My wife almost cried from cuteness overload.
  • Twindaddy and family came down to my house to watch the Super Bowl. The twins, for whatever reason, wanted Seattle to win (They certainly got their wish, didn’t they?). High fives are Baby E’s newest thing, so whenever Seattle did something good (which was 99% of the game), she gave high fives. The thing is, when she gives high fives, she doesn’t give them to just one or two people. She has to give them to everyone in the room. Baby E did a lot of high fiving that  night.
  • I spent a good portion of my day yesterday baby-proofing our kitchen. As I was sitting on the floor, installing the latches onto one of the cabinets, Baby E walked over and plopped down on my lap. She then grabbed the screwdriver out of my hands and tried to finish screwing the latch on herself. Mrs. Revis took pictures and immediately uploaded them to Facebook.
  • And, lastly, about a week ago, I was giving Baby E a bath. She didn’t make a plop this time. She did…. toot, however. Her toot was so loud that Mrs. Revis, who was doing homework in the next room, heard it. “Geez, Revis,” my wife said. “Do you feel better?”…..THAT’S MY GIRL!!!!!

They Don’t Like Me

I know I haven’t been on here very much lately, but I have a good excuse: I think the machines are out to get me.

For the past few weeks, it seems like everything that has wiring in it has either worked against me, or broken down. In the case of the radios I deal with at work every day, it’s both.

First, it was the shit covered radio. As an update, I will tell you that the radio was sent back to them, but only after my boss was unable to get ahold of the dealership’s parts manager on the phone.

(Mini Rant: I have no idea why they bothered to call the parts manager. I’m not sure what they thought he, or she, could possibly say that would make it acceptable to receive a radio covered in animal shit.)

Second, my car died. Last week, when the temperature around here dropped down into the negatives, I went outside to start it and it was dead. I thought it was just the extreme cold that was causing it to not start because it started right up when I jumped it. Nope. The battery was screwed. It wouldn’t hold a charge. It then took two attempts to get a battery that actually worked. Oy vey.

Third, my computer crashed. Windows apparently had a sudden disagreement with it. Personally, I think it’s because I have a picture of Baby E as my wallpaper and Windows got jealous. It knows it will never reach that level of perfection.

Twindaddy was able to get my computer working again (I knew having him for a brother would pay off eventually), which is a good thing because typing on a laptop is a pain in the ass. I’m not the best typist in the world to begin with, so shrinking the keyboard doesn’t do me any favors. Granted, it’s better than nothing, but I’d still much rather be doing my posting from my PC.

Finally, one of the joysticks on my Xbox controller is starting to stick. I know that’s nothing major, but it’s still an annoyance that goes towards my “the machines hate me” theory.

I’m not sure what I did to the machines to make them start targeting me. Maybe they know that I’m a fan of the Terminator movies, which always end with the machines losing. Or maybe the machines are just pissed because they know I’m so much cooler than they are. Perhaps it’s something else altogether. Whatever the case is, it needs to stop. It’s getting old.

I Hate to Say This….

..but I’m about to generalize. I really don’t like doing that. In this case however, I feel like it might be justified. This is something that I started noticing when I started working at my job. So to explain, I’ll need to give you a basic description of what I do.

I work for a small company (less than 15 people total). We work in a building with a large company that manufactures factory car stereos (Or, in other words, the stereos that originally come in the cars). The company I work for does subcontract work for the large company, where we fix the car stereos they have that are still under warranty.

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Expecting Company

When I worked at Wal-Mart, it seemed like every other month that management was coming up to us, saying that we had company coming. The company was always someone from Home Office or was a Regional Manager, or someone a lot more important than anyone who worked in our store. Our store’s managers would freak out. They’d make everyone work harder, doing things the right way (which they should’ve been done all along, but it only mattered when company was coming). By the time we were finished, everyone would be stressed out and ready to snap.

Nine times out of ten, the company would end up not coming, making all of that work in vain. The one time out of ten that they actually showed up, they usually went straight to the offices in the back. Rarely did they ever leave them. That meant that they spent little to no time out on the sales floor. That also led to all of that work being in vain.
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RTotD: 5/16

It’s time for more of my random thoughts. Most of you will probably run away screaming at that proclamation, but to those of you brave enough to stay, you need mental help. Know how I know that? We can see our own. Anyways, here we go….

  • Why is it that even though they’re part of the United States, when shipping to Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands it is considered international? Continue reading