Here We Go Again With the Questions

I’ve seen a couple of people do posts where they answer questions. I thought about doing the questions that they did, but there were over 100 of them, and I don’t have time for that. So, instead, I decided to find a random question generator and told it to give me 20.

Here we go.

Which do you like better, Google or Apple? The only Apple product I’ve ever used is my wife’s iPad, and that hasn’t been very much, so I’m going Google on this one.
Do you like bugs? Hell no. Those little bastards are always trying to get in my house.
Which do you like better, ninjas or pirates? Look at my header picture. Is there a pirate on it? No. Is there a ninja? Yes. I think you have your answer.

What is your favorite eye color? Well, mine are blue, my wife’s are green, and my daughter’s are blue, but starting to kind of creep on over to the green side. So….blue/green?

Have you ever shoplifted? When I was in high school. I stole some football cards from a convenience store. My younger brother tried to do it too, but got busted and promptly ratted me out. So, in order to keep the cops out of it, we had to clean the store for an hour every day after school for a week. I took the first week. He was supposed to take the second, but when it came time for my brother to do his, he got pink eye and I had to do it for him. I got hosed….

What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple, provided it’s not cooked. I hate cooked pineapple.

Do you like roller coasters? I did before I hurt my back. Now, not so much.

Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? I want to say that I have, but I don’t specifically remember doing it.

Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Nope, and I don’t plan on ever getting any. I don’t have anything against people that do those things, they’re just not for me.

What is your favorite drink? Sunkist, although I’m trying to cut back on drinking soft drinks.

Have you ever been stopped by the police? A couple of times, but the only ticket I ever got was from a cop in Detroit for not wearing my seatbelt. 

Which do you like better, black socks or white socks? Whichever kind keeps me from sticking my bare feet in my shoes.

Do you have pets? My daughter has a fish named Kiki. He’s a betta, or a Siamese fighting fish if you want to get technical. However, because he’s purple, my daughter says he has to be a girl. I tried to explain that just because it was purple, that didn’t make it a girl, but she wasn’t having it.

How many pairs of shoes do you own? Four. One pair of dress shoes, one that I wear to work, one that I wear outside of work, and one I only wear when I’m mowing my yard.

How many books did you read last year? I don’t know. I didn’t keep count. Probably somewhere between 15-20, I’d guess.

What are your favorite hot dog toppings? Gulden’s Spicy Brown mustard. That’s some good stuff.

Do you like to dance? No. In fact, I dislike it. I will do it on a few specific occasions, however. If my wife or daughter ask me to, I will. Or if I’m drunk….

What is your favorite hair color? I honestly don’t have a preference. They all look good, depending on who is wearing them.

Have you ever dined and dashed? Nope. I’ve joked about it, but I’ve never actually done it.

Have you ever been in a play? Nope. The only acting I ever did was when I worked at Walmart and I pretended that I didn’t hate it there.

 There you go. Hope you learned something there. I didn’t. I already knew all those answers.

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It’s Happening

Today, Mrs. Revis and I went up to school with Baby E to meet her kindergarten teacher. She starts classes on Thursday.

My baby girl is five years old now. She’s about to start school. It seems like only a few weeks ago that we were driving her home from the hospital, going incredibly slow because we were freaking out.

Now she has her own little personality. She has friends at school already (that she went to preschool with last year). Every time she saw one tonight, they would holler each other’s name and hug each other. Her best friend from preschool last year (a little boy who loves Elvis) ended up in her class and she was so excited.

Every night, she wants me to tell her a story. Even though she’s got dozens of books, she doesn’t want me to read to her. She wants me to make one up on the spot for her. When I get done, she’ll either give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. Tonight’s story was about a butterfly who got stuck in a spider web, but was able to escape before the spider got it. She gave me the thumbs down because “it’s not real”. I told her that a butterfly could, in fact, get caught in a spider web and then she started crying because “it was real”.

Sigh….

She got her ears pierced a few weeks ago. We warned her beforehand that it would hurt when they did it, but she said she didn’t care….until they did it. Then it was a slow burn. For the first few seconds, she didn’t do anything. The tears came slowly after that, until she buried her face into a stuffed animal they let her hold and bawled uncontrollably. Unfortunately, I was at work when my wife took her to get this done. While I watched the video, I wanted to reach into the phone, pick her up, and comfort her.

She’s got glasses now, too. They noticed she wasn’t seeing everything the way she should when my wife took her in for her five-year-old checkup. When she wears them, she looks even older.

Like all parents, I’m wondering where the time has gone. She used to be a tiny little thing. Now she’s a kindergartener. She used to need me to do everything for her. Now she doesn’t want me to do anything for her. She wants to do it herself.

She’s growing up.

I don’t want it to stop. I just want it to slow down just a little.

Either/Or

I titled the post that because I wasn’t sure what I should call it. I was torn between two options. It was either going to be called “A Conversation That Shows How Our Minds Work”, or “Proof That Our Minds Don’t Work”. I’ll let you decide.

(Actual lines of email from between Matticus and myself)

Matticus: Flog some Molly, my friend!  They are a lot of fun.  Catching tunes.  Upbeat… in the same vein as The Offspring in some aspects… Kind of punk, kind of pop, … good strong guitar riffs, with the added bonus of an Irish vocalist.  Anyway, I think you’d like them.  Some of their stuff is available on Prime Music if you have that… 

Revis: Who’s Molly and why are they flogging her? And why are they breaking Benjamin too?

M: And what did Ben fold five of?

R: Why are they dropkicking Murphys?

M: I really don’t know. I don’t know why those Lips are Flaming either… 

R: It is a mystery. Just like who exactly it was that God smacked.

M: I will admit, I have always wanted to know the answer to that. Also, I wish I knew what Foo was, and if they had their own Fighters or there were Fighters going after the Foo…

R: According to Robot Chicken ‘Foo’ is anyone that Mr. T called a fool. As in, ,’I pity the foo!” So Grohl and Co. went around beating up anyone who Mr. T said that to. It ended with Mr. T calling himself a fool and the Foo fighters kicking his ass.

I’m still wondering how the Leppard became Def.

M:I hadn’t heard that before!  It’s brilliant!!

And, that poor Leppard.  These things happen sometimes…  Life can be cruel… 

Like… why did all those kids going around Smashing Pumpkins?

R: Damn kids…

And how does one Pilot a Stone Temple?

M: That is a fine question… I … I don’t know the answer to that either.

And, you know what else I’ve been wondering? 

Why are we supposed to be Counting Crows?  What’s with that?

R: A favor for Alex Proyas?

And why do they keep poor Alice in Chains?

M: Honestly, Alice knows why she is in chains, and that’s good enough for me.

I’m not sure why they switched their head out with a radio, though…  I mean, I love music, but I don’t think I’d swap my head for a radio…

R: Doesn’t seem worth the effort.

And how does a deadman have a theory? And what would it be if he has one?

M: Maybe it would have something to do with The Killers? I don’t know.

You know what else I don’t know? What’s a Volta?  And what does it have to do with Mars?

R: I don’t know, but do you think the killers used a Velvet Revolver?

M: Velvet Revolver is my favorite weapon of choice…  it’s sexy and classic… It’s a good combination.

You know what else is a good combo? Guns and Roses. I believe Stephen King would agree with me on that.

R: Sorry to change the subject, but I need some help with something I’m going to put in my yard. Do you know how to make a Soundgarden?

M: Hmmm, you know, I’ve heard of those but I’ve never installed one myself.  Should be awesome once it’s done, though.  I’m jealous.

Oh! That reminds me.  I went to the ocean the other day and heard this Pearl Jam!

R: I heard that there’s this group called Audio that kidnaps people and sells them off. I don’t know about you, but I would hate to be an Audioslave.

M: Definitely.  I’d hate being an Audioslave, too.  Too many spoons and black holes for me.

I wouldn’t mind living on E Street though, they’ve got one heck of a Band.

R: I’d stay away from Tom Petty if I were you. I heard he’s got quite the crew of Heartbreakers.

M: I’d heard that too. I’ll do my best to avoid them on my path to Nirvana.

R: You realize that anyone who read all of these would probably think we’re crazy for joking around like this. I’d hate for some psychiatrist to get ahold of these and use them as an excuse to force us into joining an insane clown posse.

M: Wait!  You mean you aren’t already part of an Insane Clown Posse? I thought you were. I thought we had that in common… I thought we were … Family

R: Nothing about anything I do is insane….

By the way, have I ever shown you my Alien Ant Farm?

M: No… but you did show me your Spacehog. It was disturbing.

R: I don’t have a Spacehog. I think you’ve taken one too many hits off of the Verve Pipe.

M: You have no proof of that.

I have never…

Well…

Okay…

Maybe that one time.  But that wasn’t my fault.  The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy put a spell on me!  I had no choice!

R: Just remember that in this life you will always be Better Than Ezra, but Less Than Jake

M: U2, my friend.  U2.

Two Thoughts

As you can tell from the title, this short post will be about two thoughts I had this morning. The first is more of a planned thought, while the other is another instance of the randomness that bounces around my head.

Thought #1: If you haven’t added your choice for Fiction’s Greatest Assassin yet, Please go comment on this post right here. Any entry received before midnight (my time) on Monday will be put into a poll to see who the blogosphere thinks is Fiction’s Greatest Assassin.

Thought #2: Twisted Metal 2 was an awesome game. I wasn’t a fan of any of the other Twisted Metal games, but 2 was great.

Anyways, I hope you all have a nice weekend!

Missed Calls

His daughter had played a game on his phone this morning, draining a little more than a quarter of his battery. He still had some time before work, so he plugged it into his charger and went about his normal morning routine. After showering, putting his clothes on, and going downstairs to make his lunch, he kissed his daughter goodbye. It wasn’t until he was halfway to work that he realized he had left his phone at home on the charger.

If he turned around to get it, he would be late. He couldn’t be late. He would have to go the day without his phone.

It felt strange to him to walk around with an empty pocket. He never noticed how much he had grown used to having it with him at all times. The absence of it almost made him feel naked. Still, he had work to do, so he tried to push it out of his mind and get to it.

Suddenly, his ringtone blared loudly in his mind for a few seconds.

It was almost enough to make him jump. As it was, it increased his heart rate and momentarily sped up his breathing. Out of instinct, he reached to his pocket before remembering he didn’t have his phone with him when he came up empty. A glance at the clock showed that it was only twenty minutes until he went to lunch.

The day’s half over, he reminded himself. Only four more hours after I get back from lunch. His lunch dragged on, him not having his phone to update or browse through his social media sites. He was forced to pay attention to some soap opera that was playing on the television. It was mounted on the breakroom wall too high for him to reach the buttons and he couldn’t find the remote. One of his coworkers must’ve hidden it again. Bastards.

After the hellish lunch he just experienced, he was happy to go back to work for once. He had just reached a productive groove when he was interrupted again by the sound of his ringtone. This time he did jump because of how loud it sounded in his head, although he was able to keep himself from reaching for his pocket that time. The clock said that he had only been back from lunch for an hour. Only three more hours to go, he thought.

The next hour breezed through and because he didn’t have his phone, he decided to skip his final break. He found his groove again, doing well above his normal production. Before he knew it, a bell on the wall rang out, signaling that there was ten minutes left in his shift. With his quota hit, he stopped what he was doing and planned on not doing anything until it was time to clock out. Then, he heard his ringtone again.

Like the first two times, it gave him a start, but it didn’t ring out in his head as loudly that time. Annoyed, he vowed to never be stupid enough to forget his phone again.

When he got home, he found his daughter playing with his phone once again. He took it from her and told her to go play with her own toys. She huffed, but did as she was told. As she was walking away, she told him that he was getting texts all day. Only one text showed up, from his wife asking what he wanted to do for dinner. He was going to ask his daughter about it when he saw that he had voicemails. Those had the same alert tone that his texts did. That must have been what she heard.

The first message was from his brother. He listened as his sibling frantically told him that their grandfather had been rushed to the hospital. As the message was playing, he looked through his phone log and saw that the only missed calls he had were from his brother. The other messages had to be from him as well.

Another frantic rambling greeted him on the next one. His brother was practically begging him to call back, saying that it didn’t look good and that the doctors were saying that his grandfather didn’t have much longer. The third message consisted of his brother bawling, telling him that their grandfather had passed away.

Tears began rolling down his cheeks as he put his phone down on the table in front of him. Through the tears, he saw that his phone log was still open. The first call came in twenty minutes before he went to lunch. The second call came an hour after he got back from lunch. The final call came ten minutes before he clocked out.

Crying even harder now, he went through his phone’s settings until it let him play his ringtone. As the music came from the speaker, he buried his face in his hands. His wife came into the room, asking what was wrong. He didn’t hear her, though. He was listening to his ringtone.

The song his grandfather asked him to use.

 

RTotD: 6-13

Here we are again. Another day that I will beguile you with the randomness that jumps around in my mind…. Now I have the song Jump Around in my head. I came to get down, I came to get down so get out your seat and jump around!

  • I didn’t watch any of the CW hero shows as they were going on this past season, so it wasn’t until they put them up on Netflix recently that I was able to watch the big crossover event that they did. I have one thing to say about it: Ehhh.
  • The show Castle was about a novelist helping the police solve murders. What you may not know is that they actually had someone ghostwrite the novels that the character Castle writing on the series. They’re actually pretty good. Not great, but pretty good. If you were a fan of the show, you should check them out.
  • I came to get down, I came to get down
    So get out your seat and jump around!
  • Godsmack does a cover of Metallica’s Nothing Else Matters. The music is all piano, which I actually like. And while I also like their lead singer’s voice, I just don’t think it works for this song, so I’m torn about it.
  • I told you all it was my brother’s birthday yesterday and not one of you said “Happy Birthday” in the comments. For shame….
  • I’m wondering if there’s a specific number of these thoughts that I should strive to achieve when I do these posts, or if I should just wing it. After all, it is about randomness. However, I feel like I should give as much content as I can. What does Confucius say?
  • I Googled his quotes and the first one to pop up was: “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop.”
  • Apparently, Confucius thinks I should go on forever.
  • That’s not going to happen, dead Chinese philosopher guy.
  • I’m now separating every sentence for no apparent reason.
  • That’s rather odd, don’t you think?
  • I should probably stop now.

Anyways…..

Have a good day everyone!

RTotD: 5-15

It’s time for another look at the random stuff that pops into my head. I feel like I should put a warning about the randomness that I inflict upon the blogosphere, but if you’re already here, it’s already too late.

  • Is it just me, or are the subscription services like Netflix, Hulu, and Amazon Prime putting out better shows than the actual networks now? There are only a few shows that appear on a real television network that I actually like to watch anymore.
  • Both today and last Monday, I left for work a lot earlier than normal because signs on the side of the road promised construction starting the previous weekend. Both times there was zero construction on my way to work. I really hate whoever is in charge of that crap.
  • The main company that hires the small place that I work got hit by that ransomware virus. Since their computers are down, I’m only able to do about half of what I need to do. This day is going to last forever. 
  • Muscle weighs more than fat, so when people tell me I should work out, I tell them I can’t because I’m watching my weight.
  • I watched season 2 of Daredevil for the second time. I liked it even better the second time around. 
  • I’ve done so much editing over the past couple of months that it’s kinda burned me out on writing. The time I would normally spend on writing has been spent clicking on random articles suggested by Facebook. 
  • According to a random article suggested by Facebook, 8% of Asian males are a direct descendant of Genghis Khan…. That’s a whole lot of fighting and fucking for one man….

That’s all I got for now. Hopefully some of your brain cells are still functioning after reading this.