Commercial Announcer: These are real people, not actors.
….apparently, actors aren’t real people.
Commercial Announcer: These are real people, not actors.
….apparently, actors aren’t real people.
I was looking up what date Thanksgiving fell on this year on an online calendar. At the bottom of the page it had some links to related articles. One of the articles was about the day after Thanksgiving and what people called it. Most people I know refer to it as Black Friday. This article said that there was a certain group of people that referred to it with a different color.
The article claimed that plumbers refer to the day after Thanksgiving as Brown Friday, because it’s their busiest day of the year for pipe and septic blockages.
I find that to be incredibly humorous.
Hey everyone! A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away (yet still kinda close), Matticus and I did a story called Revis and Matticus Save the Kingdom. We both wrote on each part and then rotated on whose blog the next part would be published on. Well, we’re doing a new one. This is just the first part of our new blog hopping story. The next part will be published over at The Matticus Kingdom.
We hope you’ll enjoy it.
The ball felt good leaving his hand. He watched as it flew through the air in a nice, tight spiral. Accuracy was the only question now. It was aimed correctly, but did he judge the distance correctly?
His receiver’s hands wrapped around the ball mid-flight. It was placed perfectly. Two feet touched down, in bounds, as the receiver fell out of the back of the endzone. He pumped his fist. Touchdown!
The whistle blew and it was followed quickly by his coach saying, “Good job, Marapleksian.” After a pause, the coach turned to the sideline and hollered, “Backups, it’s your turn.”
He ran off the field, shaking his head at his coach’s insistence on using his whole name. Everybody else just called him Plex. Even his traditionalist parents had relented and began calling him the shortened middle part of his name. They didn’t like it, but hearing his friends call him that for 123 years finally wore them down. Continue reading
My team lead came around to everyone today asking for any ideas that we may have that would make things run more smoothly for us in the warehouse. Apparently my suggestion, that he stop acting like a jackass, wasn’t “constructive” or “helpful”.
I’ve seen a couple of people do posts where they answer questions. I thought about doing the questions that they did, but there were over 100 of them, and I don’t have time for that. So, instead, I decided to find a random question generator and told it to give me 20.
Here we go.
Which do you like better, Google or Apple? The only Apple product I’ve ever used is my wife’s iPad, and that hasn’t been very much, so I’m going Google on this one.
Do you like bugs? Hell no. Those little bastards are always trying to get in my house.
Which do you like better, ninjas or pirates? Look at my header picture. Is there a pirate on it? No. Is there a ninja? Yes. I think you have your answer.
What is your favorite eye color? Well, mine are blue, my wife’s are green, and my daughter’s are blue, but starting to kind of creep on over to the green side. So….blue/green?
Have you ever shoplifted? When I was in high school. I stole some football cards from a convenience store. My younger brother tried to do it too, but got busted and promptly ratted me out. So, in order to keep the cops out of it, we had to clean the store for an hour every day after school for a week. I took the first week. He was supposed to take the second, but when it came time for my brother to do his, he got pink eye and I had to do it for him. I got hosed….
What is your favorite fruit? Pineapple, provided it’s not cooked. I hate cooked pineapple.
Do you like roller coasters? I did before I hurt my back. Now, not so much.
Have you ever cut someone else’s hair? I want to say that I have, but I don’t specifically remember doing it.
Do you have any tattoos or piercings? Nope, and I don’t plan on ever getting any. I don’t have anything against people that do those things, they’re just not for me.
What is your favorite drink? Sunkist, although I’m trying to cut back on drinking soft drinks.
Have you ever been stopped by the police? A couple of times, but the only ticket I ever got was from a cop in Detroit for not wearing my seatbelt.
Which do you like better, black socks or white socks? Whichever kind keeps me from sticking my bare feet in my shoes.
Do you have pets? My daughter has a fish named Kiki. He’s a betta, or a Siamese fighting fish if you want to get technical. However, because he’s purple, my daughter says he has to be a girl. I tried to explain that just because it was purple, that didn’t make it a girl, but she wasn’t having it.
How many pairs of shoes do you own? Four. One pair of dress shoes, one that I wear to work, one that I wear outside of work, and one I only wear when I’m mowing my yard.
How many books did you read last year? I don’t know. I didn’t keep count. Probably somewhere between 15-20, I’d guess.
What are your favorite hot dog toppings? Gulden’s Spicy Brown mustard. That’s some good stuff.
Do you like to dance? No. In fact, I dislike it. I will do it on a few specific occasions, however. If my wife or daughter ask me to, I will. Or if I’m drunk….
What is your favorite hair color? I honestly don’t have a preference. They all look good, depending on who is wearing them.
Have you ever dined and dashed? Nope. I’ve joked about it, but I’ve never actually done it.
Have you ever been in a play? Nope. The only acting I ever did was when I worked at Walmart and I pretended that I didn’t hate it there.
There you go. Hope you learned something there. I didn’t. I already knew all those answers.
Today, Mrs. Revis and I went up to school with Baby E to meet her kindergarten teacher. She starts classes on Thursday.
My baby girl is five years old now. She’s about to start school. It seems like only a few weeks ago that we were driving her home from the hospital, going incredibly slow because we were freaking out.
Now she has her own little personality. She has friends at school already (that she went to preschool with last year). Every time she saw one tonight, they would holler each other’s name and hug each other. Her best friend from preschool last year (a little boy who loves Elvis) ended up in her class and she was so excited.
Every night, she wants me to tell her a story. Even though she’s got dozens of books, she doesn’t want me to read to her. She wants me to make one up on the spot for her. When I get done, she’ll either give me a thumbs up or thumbs down. Tonight’s story was about a butterfly who got stuck in a spider web, but was able to escape before the spider got it. She gave me the thumbs down because “it’s not real”. I told her that a butterfly could, in fact, get caught in a spider web and then she started crying because “it was real”.
She got her ears pierced a few weeks ago. We warned her beforehand that it would hurt when they did it, but she said she didn’t care….until they did it. Then it was a slow burn. For the first few seconds, she didn’t do anything. The tears came slowly after that, until she buried her face into a stuffed animal they let her hold and bawled uncontrollably. Unfortunately, I was at work when my wife took her to get this done. While I watched the video, I wanted to reach into the phone, pick her up, and comfort her.
She’s got glasses now, too. They noticed she wasn’t seeing everything the way she should when my wife took her in for her five-year-old checkup. When she wears them, she looks even older.
Like all parents, I’m wondering where the time has gone. She used to be a tiny little thing. Now she’s a kindergartener. She used to need me to do everything for her. Now she doesn’t want me to do anything for her. She wants to do it herself.
She’s growing up.
I don’t want it to stop. I just want it to slow down just a little.
I titled the post that because I wasn’t sure what I should call it. I was torn between two options. It was either going to be called “A Conversation That Shows How Our Minds Work”, or “Proof That Our Minds Don’t Work”. I’ll let you decide.
(Actual lines of email from between Matticus and myself)
Matticus: Flog some Molly, my friend! They are a lot of fun. Catching tunes. Upbeat… in the same vein as The Offspring in some aspects… Kind of punk, kind of pop, … good strong guitar riffs, with the added bonus of an Irish vocalist. Anyway, I think you’d like them. Some of their stuff is available on Prime Music if you have that…
Revis: Who’s Molly and why are they flogging her? And why are they breaking Benjamin too?
M: And what did Ben fold five of?
R: Why are they dropkicking Murphys?
M: I really don’t know. I don’t know why those Lips are Flaming either…
R: It is a mystery. Just like who exactly it was that God smacked.
M: I will admit, I have always wanted to know the answer to that. Also, I wish I knew what Foo was, and if they had their own Fighters or there were Fighters going after the Foo…
R: According to Robot Chicken ‘Foo’ is anyone that Mr. T called a fool. As in, ,’I pity the foo!” So Grohl and Co. went around beating up anyone who Mr. T said that to. It ended with Mr. T calling himself a fool and the Foo fighters kicking his ass.
I’m still wondering how the Leppard became Def.
M:I hadn’t heard that before! It’s brilliant!!
And, that poor Leppard. These things happen sometimes… Life can be cruel…
Like… why did all those kids going around Smashing Pumpkins?
R: Damn kids…
And how does one Pilot a Stone Temple?
M: That is a fine question… I … I don’t know the answer to that either.
And, you know what else I’ve been wondering?
Why are we supposed to be Counting Crows? What’s with that?
R: A favor for Alex Proyas?
And why do they keep poor Alice in Chains?
M: Honestly, Alice knows why she is in chains, and that’s good enough for me.
I’m not sure why they switched their head out with a radio, though… I mean, I love music, but I don’t think I’d swap my head for a radio…
R: Doesn’t seem worth the effort.
And how does a deadman have a theory? And what would it be if he has one?
M: Maybe it would have something to do with The Killers? I don’t know.
You know what else I don’t know? What’s a Volta? And what does it have to do with Mars?
R: I don’t know, but do you think the killers used a Velvet Revolver?
M: Velvet Revolver is my favorite weapon of choice… it’s sexy and classic… It’s a good combination.
You know what else is a good combo? Guns and Roses. I believe Stephen King would agree with me on that.
R: Sorry to change the subject, but I need some help with something I’m going to put in my yard. Do you know how to make a Soundgarden?
M: Hmmm, you know, I’ve heard of those but I’ve never installed one myself. Should be awesome once it’s done, though. I’m jealous.
Oh! That reminds me. I went to the ocean the other day and heard this Pearl Jam!
R: I heard that there’s this group called Audio that kidnaps people and sells them off. I don’t know about you, but I would hate to be an Audioslave.
M: Definitely. I’d hate being an Audioslave, too. Too many spoons and black holes for me.
I wouldn’t mind living on E Street though, they’ve got one heck of a Band.
R: I’d stay away from Tom Petty if I were you. I heard he’s got quite the crew of Heartbreakers.
M: I’d heard that too. I’ll do my best to avoid them on my path to Nirvana.
R: You realize that anyone who read all of these would probably think we’re crazy for joking around like this. I’d hate for some psychiatrist to get ahold of these and use them as an excuse to force us into joining an insane clown posse.
M: Wait! You mean you aren’t already part of an Insane Clown Posse? I thought you were. I thought we had that in common… I thought we were … Family
R: Nothing about anything I do is insane….
By the way, have I ever shown you my Alien Ant Farm?
M: No… but you did show me your Spacehog. It was disturbing.
R: I don’t have a Spacehog. I think you’ve taken one too many hits off of the Verve Pipe.
M: You have no proof of that.
I have never…
Maybe that one time. But that wasn’t my fault. The Big Bad Voodoo Daddy put a spell on me! I had no choice!
R: Just remember that in this life you will always be Better Than Ezra, but Less Than Jake
M: U2, my friend. U2.