It’s that time again, everyone. It’s time for you to take a brief step into my brain. I promise to try and make it as painless as possible, but I guarantee nothing. If you start to experience any side effects, please consult your doctor immediately. We here at Stuphblog take no responsibility for it if you do. After all, it’s not our fault you’re intolerant of the 33 grams of awesome I bring…..or something.
- Political bumper stickers are about the most useless things ever. They don’t change anyone’s mind or make people want to vote. The only thing they do is make the car owner look stupid. Even if your side wins, after the election is over you’re stuck with an idiotic sticker on your car for the rest of its life.
- When did everyone become so obsessed with getting organized? All anyone is talking about anymore is totes. They’re only like $5 at the store. Just buy some and shut up about them already. And who the hell is Totes McGotes? Is he Rubbermaid’s new mascot or something?
- While on the local news website the other day, I saw this headline: Horse shot dead in Mason County. I have three things to say about that: One, I hope the person who did this gets kicked in the head repeatedly by the next horse that they are near. Two, why is this news? And three, why was this number six on their top ten list of most popular stories?
- Weren’t Flo’s 15 minutes of fame over with 15 minutes ago? What’s it going to take to get rid of this bitch finally?
- I like the way that children’s networks are set up. They play the entire episode, then play all of their commercials in between them. If only all TV networks worked this way.
- Before any of you go trying to explain number 2 to me, I know what totes means. I was just being a smartass. If you try to be a smartass and explain it to me anyways, I’ll find out where you live and put a political bumper sticker on your car. If you don’t have a car, I’ll put it on your forehead instead.
There you have it folks. The randomness that’s in my head is now spreading throughout the blogosphere. Unfortunately, there is no known cure yet.
I haven’t done one of these Random Thought posts in a while. Since that is too long to go in between hearing my pearls of wisdom, I decided to be a nice guy and “bless” you with more of them. After reading the first few of them, I’m sure you’ll be able to figure out where I had most of these thoughts.
- Why do people slow down to 5-10 MPH lower than the speed limit when they see a cop? As long as you’re not going over the speed limit, you’re fine. Stop trying to make me late for work, assholes.
- Most of my drive to work is done on a 4 lane highway. I’ve noticed that the people who like to drive 15-20 MPH over the speed limit will do so without going into the fast lane. They’ll zoom in and out of the other 3 lanes, but will avoid that fourth one like the plague. Do they really think that cops can only see the people in the fast lane?
- You can’t use the same scent of air freshener in your bathroom for extended periods of time. If you do, you start to associate that smell with the bathroom….. Which means that, no matter how flowery or perfume-y the scent is when you smell it, it smells like shit.
- Am I the only one who didn’t notice the inconsistency in the T-Rex escape scene in Jurassic Park? It didn’t even register with me until a couple of guys at work pointed it out. I guess I just wasn’t paying that much attention.
- In most zombie lore, if you get bitten by a zombie, you turn into one. What happens if you have sex after getting bitten, but before you turn into a zombie? Does your partner then turn into a zombie too? If so, wouldn’t that also make the zombie virus an STD?
Well, there you have it folks. This has been another edition of RTotD. Hopefully, you were entertained (and only slightly scared) by the random thoughts that float around inside my head.
I read a lot.
That’s not a really a very big revelation. I read books, comic books, and, on occasion, other people’s blogs. While I like all of those things, I read books more than anything. There are many different kinds of books, but, after looking through my book collection, there are only a few genres that I read on a regular basis: fantasy fiction (D&D, LotR/ type books), sci-fi (That includes Star Wars, but I also count Michael Crichton in this category, as well), and mysteries (with Harlan Coben and Michael Connelly being my favorites in this category).
It’s time for more of my random thoughts. Most of you will probably run away screaming at that proclamation, but to those of you brave enough to stay, you need mental help. Know how I know that? We can see our own. Anyways, here we go….
- Why is it that even though they’re part of the United States, when shipping to Puerto Rico and the Virgin Islands it is considered international? Continue reading
1. Have you ever farted so hard that, just for a second, you think you might have accidentally crapped your pants?
2. Have you ever been walking next to a complete stranger in a public place, such as a mall or a grocery store, then cried out, looked at them, and yelled, “Don’t touch me there!”? (A side note: I’ve done this before. The look on their face is priceless. I’m hoping that people will read this, videotape themselves doing it, put it on YouTube, and start calling it Revis-ing.)
3. Why is it that you almost never notice that the toilet paper roll is empty until after you’ve started dumping?
4. Have you ever noticed that drinking grape soda turns your crap green?
5. Why does grape soda turn your crap green instead of purple?
6. How freaked out would you be if your crap was purple?
7. There’s a bunch of toilet questions on here, so why didn’t I put this in “Thoughts from the Throne”?
I just got done watching last night’s episode of The Colbert Report, and I noticed something. The Colbert Report has been on for 5 years, or so, now and you’d think in that time that people would know what to expect when they go on there. In last night’s episode, he had on an energy expert to talk about gas prices, and this guy got thrown every time Colbert made a joke or asked a joking question. Had he never seen the show before? If he wanted to talk completely seriously about gas prices, then he went on the wrong show. I’m not singling this guy out, either. This happens quite often. How? I have no idea. Anyone who has ever watched even one episode should know that Colbert is only 50% serious at most in any of his interviews.
Of course, now as I’m writing about it, I’m also thinking more about it. It’s actually quite funny seeing these idiots squirm while trying to deal with Colbert’s joke questions. If these people were prepared for him, the show wouldn’t be as fun to watch. Dammit! I’ve thrown myself into a conundrum. I’m stopping now before I get any deeper.