My Trip to The Shoe

As many of you may know, I am a big fan of Ohio State football. I have been for as long as I can remember. The highlights of my fandom had been watching them win the National Championships in both 2002 and 2015. I didn’t think anything other than another championship would come close to getting me that pumped up about them. Then, something did.

On Friday, while I was on lunch,  I was playing around on Facebook. I saw a post made by my best friend from high school (the one from the unintentional pickup line story). He said he had an extra ticket to the Ohio State game the following day. Someone else had already asked about it, so I figured he would take that person and I put it out of my mind.

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Counting Them Out

I have gotten into the habit of not writing about football on this blog because I’ve noticed that most of the people that read my blog don’t really care much about football. However, since my Ohio State Buckeyes won the National Championship last night, I thought I’d make an exception and do a post about them.

If you’re not a football fan, don’t worry. In truth, this post will be about a football team, but will have very little to do with the actual game itself. This post is about what they had to go through to get where they are now. The drama all started before the season even began.

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My Football Jerseys

I own eight football jerseys. It seems that no matter which one I wear, I always get at least one comment about them. Whether it’s one of the older ones I wear to work, or one of my newer ones that I’ll wear out and about, someone always feels the need to say something about them to me. When out in public, it’s usually some comment about the team I’m wearing. Either they really like them, or it’s a cacophony of “Your team sucks!”

The people at work however, comment about something else. They comment on the amount of teams that I have a jersey for. All of my college jerseys are for the same team. It’s all about my Ohio State Buckeyes. I have four Ohio State jerseys. My NFL jerseys are a different story.

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Watching What I Wear

I work in a warehouse, so my attire isn’t very important to them. As long a there is no cussing, or anything sexually explicit, on my shirts, I can wear anything that I want. That usually means that I’ll wear all of my oldest shirts to work because I’ll be less likely to care if they get messed up.

With the exception of my dress clothes, 90% of my wardrobe consists of sports shirts. The rest is band shirts, or dirty minded phrases and pictures. So, a lot of the time, I’ll be wearing a football shirt: either Ohio State or Carolina Panthers. At work, however, it’s always Ohio State.

The only reason for this is that almost all of my Ohio State shirts are older than my Panthers shirts. Since my Ohio State shirts are all kind of worn out, and my Panthers shirts aren’t, I’ll wear them. That means, on the weekends, I’ll wear the shirts that I don’t want to wear to work. So, I end up wearing Panthers stuph a lot on the weekends.

However, I’ve begun to realize that I can’t wear Panthers stuph on certain days on the weekend. Specifically, I can’t wear Panthers stuph on the days that Mrs. Revis and I go grocery shopping.

We almost always go to the same grocery store. There’s a guy that works at the grocery store who is special. Whenever he sees me walk in with my Panthers stuph on, no matter what he’s doing, he’ll walk up and talk to me about my shirt….. or my hat, or Cam Newton.

I’m nice to him and talk for a few moments, but then I walk away to start my shopping….. He follows me and keeps talking.

Now, if it was just me, I wouldn’t mind. I’d let him talk all shopping trip long and pretend to pay attention. But, I’m with my family. I don’t get a lot of time with them and, no offense to this guy, I don’t want to spend it talking to him.

We don’t want to change stores just to avoid this guy, so now we have a new weekend routine. Before I get dressed, I ask if we’re going to the store. If the answer is ‘no’, I’ll put on some of my Panthers stuph. If the answer is ‘yes’, I put on anything that doesn’t say Panthers on it.

Letter To Strangers

Dear people I haven’t met,

This might be a little hard for you to understand, but just because I’m wearing a football shirt (whether Ohio State or Carolina Panthers), it doesn’t mean I want you to come up and talk to me about it. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy talking about football. I just like to do it with family or friends, not random assholes that happen to be in my vicinity. I know that may sound harsh, especially since I try to be nice to everyone I meet (as I was raised), but there is a reason for me saying that.

Example 1: Today, at work, I was in the middle of a project. Someone who works for the other company in the building, who I had never seen before, comes walking by me. After seeing my shirt (A red t-shirt that says “Ohio State Buckeyes football” on it), he stops.

“Is Ohio State going to beat Michigan State in the Big 10 championship game on Saturday,” he asks.

I wanted to say something sarcastic, something like, “I must be wearing my fortune teller clothes today, otherwise how could you have known that I can predict the future?” I held my tongue, though, because, once again, I was raised to be nice. Also, I was at work and I didn’t want to risk getting in trouble.

So, I played nice and gave him the short version of my opinion on the game. I didn’t want to spend too much time on it because I had to get my work done. When I was done, he said a few things and I gave him the “I’m not paying attention, but good point” head nod. Thankfully, he finally took the hint as he walked away afterwards.

Less than a minute later is when I started calling him an asshole. Because he interrupted me, I lost track of what I had been doing and I now had to start my project over from the beginning. It took me 25 minutes to finish up something that would’ve only taken 5 more minutes had he just kept his mouth shut.

Example 2: In January of 2011, Mrs. Revis and I were shopping. Once again, I was wearing Ohio State gear, only this time, it was a jersey. We weren’t shopping for anything in particular, just kind of walking around when I heard someone say, “Hey.”

Since I didn’t recognize the voice, I kept walking. Then, they said, “Hey, Buckeye.”

With a sigh, I turned around and asked the guy what was up. He puts on a shit-eating grin and asks, “What does Ohio State’s football team have in common with marijuana?”

I didn’t care what his answer was going to be, so I simply played along and asked, “What?”

“They both get smoked in bowls.”

I will admit that it was a clever joke. During Jim Tressell’s run at Ohio State, with the exception of the year they won the National Championship, his teams didn’t do very good in bowl games.

However, that year (which turned out to be his last season because of the tattoo scandal), a year that they said a Big 10 school couldn’t beat an SEC team, my Buckeyes beat Arkansas in a BCS game.

So, in response to his joke, I said as I walked away, “Tell that to Arkansas.”

Either this guy was a Razorback fan (making him stupid for even bringing it up), or he was mentally unstable, because he went nuts when I said that. He started cursing and throwing a hissy fit in the middle of the store. Mrs. Revis and I got the hell out of there as quickly as we could because we didn’t want to end up on the news.

In conclusion, don’t assume that just because I like football that I’m willing to talk to anyone, at anytime, about it. If you feel that you must talk to me about it, at least ask if I have time to talk about it first. I might be in the middle of something. I could be working, or trying to have some family time. Or maybe I just won’t be in the mood to be hounded by weird strangers who assume I care what they think about football.

Letter To The President

Dear Gordon Gee (President of Ohio State University),

I am a lifelong Ohio State fan. I have loved your university for as long as I can remember. I’ve stuck by it through good times, and bad. Now, you’ve come along and made all of the people who are fans of your university look like crap because you opened your mouth. Let me give you a piece of advice: Continue reading

Ask Revis – The Questions Answered

I ask for your questions and a couple of you gave them to me. So today, dear readers, I will answer the questions you have set for me.

From Melanie:

Are you the big brother or the little brother? Are you older or younger? Those are different questions. Who won the childhood fights and who wins the adulthood fights? Continue reading