Prompt Post 4: Confession 

In my next prompt, I have been asked to make a confession of some sort. So, here we go:

I discriminate based on age.

Not people, of course, because people of every age are capable of doing amazing things. No, I’m talking about entertainment. Basically, if it’s a movie, song, or book made before I was born, I’m probably not going to like it. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I won’t give anything made before I was born a chance. I’m just a hell of a lot less likely to. 

Music is the least offensive of the three. Or maybe it’s just because I’m so used to it. Most of the music I listened to when I was younger came from the oldies station. Both of my parents pretty much made sure that I listened to music from the 60s. It wasn’t until I got to high school that I started picking out my own music and my das was less than impressed with my choice of things like Metallica’s black album. 

Besides, old songs are over in 4 or 5 minutes, tops.

Movies are worse. These obviously take up more time than listening to a song, and are usually more painful. I don’t know. Maybe it’s because I grew up in the era where special effects and CGI started booming, but I can’t watch an old movie now without thinking about how crappy they look. The old Bond films are the worst. Their effects are so bad that they make me want to bang my head against a wall sometimes. 

The worst offender, to me is books. I have yet to read a book that was written before I was born that I  have liked, except those written by the late, great Michael Crichton. That’s it. His are the only ones.
I’ve gone in wanting to like the old books too. I was excited before I started reading the Lord of the Rings trilogy and it ended up being my worst literary experience. I disliked almost every second of reading it, but I finished them just so I could say that I read them…. it wasn’t worth it. 

The Count of Monte Cristo was another book I read after seeing the movie (the Guy Pearce/Jim Caviezel version). It was much easier to get through, but it still wasn’t a good time. 

The Man in the High Castle  (which you should really watch if you have Amazon Prime. It’s great) was a book written back in the 60s. It was probably the most boring book I have ever read. Almost nothing happens in the whole book. If you took out him explaining all the differences in the world, because in this book, Germany won World War Two, all you’d be left with is about  25 pages. Honestly, the only reason I finished it is because of how short it was. Had it been longer, I probably would’ve quit halfway through. 

So, sorry to those who want me to read or watch the old  classic that they love. It’s more than likely not going to happen. I’m ageist.

Versus: Episode 13

In the last episode of Versus, I did matchups of different actors playing the same character (I know it was a long time ago, so if you forgot what happened, click here). This time, I thought I’d flip it. I decided to go with matchups of different characters played by the same actor.

As with all of my other matchups, I’m going to try to keep them as fair as I possibly can. After all, Harrison Ford played both Han Solo and Indiana Jones, but that wouldn’t be much of a fair fight. A whip and a pistol may be good in the 1930s, but they’re no match for a blaster at your side.

Because they both have powers, I was tempted to do an Ian McKellan: Magneto vs. Gandalf matchup. I won’t be doing that one…at least not yet. I’d like to keep from reusing characters as long as I can and I’ve already done a matchup with Gandalf. Speaking of Lord of the Rings, however…. Continue reading

Versus: Episode 10

Are you ready for some fighting between fictional characters (I’ll pause here so everyone can play that scene in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, where Ben Affleck stretches out the words ‘fictional characters’ while trying to explain something to Jay, in their heads. Everyone done? Good. Time to move on)? It’s going to be good. Did you bring your popcorn?

…..you didn’t? Well then, what the hell am I supposed to snack on while writing this? Nevermind. I’ll figure something out.

Anyways, Round One’s matchup is inspired by bardictale. The matchup is actually not one of the two that was submitted, but a combination of one from each of them. Hopefully, bardictale likes this one just as much as the originals.

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Versus: Episode 2

Welcome to the second edition of Versus. A number of you have sent me your matchup ideas. For now, I’m going to go with one matchup suggested by one of my readers. The other will be one that was thought of by me, or someone else at work. Eventually, depending on how many suggestions you all give me, I might do all reader suggested matchups. So, don’t forget to send me your requests.

Now, onto the first matchup. This one is from my writing partner, Matticus.

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My Writing Problem

I kind of have an unusual problem when it comes to writing.  Most people, when they’re having trouble writing, can’t come up with anything to write. Writer’s block sucks…..or so I’ve been told. I don’t know, as I’ve never suffered from writer’s block. I always have something to write, which is kind of my problem. I have too much to write. Plus, I have too much time to think of stuph to write. The only problem is that I don’t have enough time to write.

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Things You May Not Know: Lord of the Rings

For anyone who has ever read, or watched, the Lord of the Rings series, there may be things that you may be unaware of. Recently, one of Tolkien’s original manuscripts was discovered. After reviewing this manuscript, it was discovered that two characters were left out of both the books and the movies. Since more people have seen the movies, I’ll tell their story in terms of where they would have fit in with the film.

The Fellowship of the Ring was nine people in the movies: an elf (Legolas), a dwarf (Gimli), three humans (Gandalf, Boromir, and Aragorn), and four hobbits (Sam, Merry, Pippin, and Frodo). In the original manuscript, there was actually six hobbits. What they didn’t tell you was that Frodo had a set of twin brothers named Dee and Tee.

Dee Baggins was left out because he was mean to all of the others in the fellowship. He went out of his way to upset and anger the rest of the group. The hobbits didn’t actually fall down the hill when the farmer was chasing them. Dee pushed them. The Nazghul didn’t find them on Weathertop because of the cooking fire. They found them because Dee was calling Sam and Frodo gay at the top of his lungs. Unfortunately for Dee, he didn’t make it out of the first movie. It wasn’t a bucket that Pippen dropped down the well in the Mines of Moria. Now, the name of Dee is legend in the Shire. It is used to keep kids from acting out. After all, no hobbit wants to be told that they’re acting like a Dee Baggins.

Tee Baggins…..well, what kept Tee from being in the movie is something that can’t be said in polite company. In fact, it is now a crime in the Shire to even bring up Tee Baggins, so this tale must end here.

I hope you all learned a little something today. Thank you for reading this week’s episode of Things You May Not Know.

 

Top Movie Franchises

I decided to make a list of my favorite movie franchises. These are movie series that are 3 movies or more. These are my personal favorites. Some of you may agree with me, some of you may not.

5. Indiana Jones – The first 3 movies are great. The fourth one was good, but not as good as the original 3. Out of all of them, I’d have to say that The Last Crusade was the best.

4. Jason Bourne – The Bourne series is an anomaly, in that the movies are way better than the books. I think the books were written in the late 70’s or early 80’s, so they had to update the technology, but they also completely revamped the story too. I’m glad they did, because the book story took to long to develop and didn’t make much sense until the end. The movies were fast-paced, full of action, and suspenseful. The car chases were awesome and Matt Damon did a great job of going from a guy who didn’t know who he was to a complete bad-ass.

3. Die Hard – Bruce Willis as John McClane is one of the coolest characters ever in movies. Even though the fourth movie had some “Come on!” moments, it was still a good movie. The original Die Hard is still one of my favorite movies and I make sure I watch it every Christmas Day. Alan Rickman, as Hans Gruber, is, to me, the second best movie villain out there. Die Hard 2 wasn’t as good as the first, but it had it’s moments. Die Hard with a Vengeance, with Willis teaming up with Samuel L, was the funniest of the series, but still was loaded with action and explosions.

2. Lord of the Rings – There really isn’t much to say about these movies, except that they all rule. I will tell you a story, though. When the first one, Fellowship of the Ring, came out, I went to watch it in the theater with my younger brother. After it was over, I was pumped up about it, because it was so good. While we were walking back to my car, I asked him what he thought of it. His response was, “That ending sucked.” “It’s part of a trilogy. There’s going to be two more movies,” I explained. “Oh,” he said. He thought about it for a few seconds, then said, “I don’t care. The ending still sucked.” Nice recovery, man.

1. Star Wars – While saying this, I’m only counting the original trilogy. The prequel trilogy is 33 grams of pissing me off. I think that sometime after the original Star Wars trilogy and the first 3 Indiana Jones movies were completed, George Lucas suffered some kind of head trauma, because somewhere in there he forgot how to write. Episodes 4, 5, and 6 are what movies are supposed to be: fun, exciting, and a great story. It was the little guys surviving, and ultimately defeating the big bad guys despite the incredible odds stacked against them. And, if Hans Gruber is the second best movie villain, that’s only because Darth Vader is the best. Even his allies were scared of him. They knew that if they messed up, or crossed him in any way, he would kill them. Not only were the characters and story great, but while making this movie, George Lucas basically invented special effects. The effects in these movies were groundbreaking and without them, we wouldn’t have the great effects we have in movies today.

So, that’s my list. If you agree, let me know. If you don’t, let me know.