Having Ears Is Sometimes A Bad Thing

Yesterday, at work, I was doing my normal thing. I was boxing up radios and shipping them off to idiotic car dealerships all over this nation. During most of that time, however, I was also contemplating cutting my ears off. For the last four or five hours I was there, they were being cruelly, and unusually, punished.


The tech room where they repair the radios is right next to the shipping room. Normally, the techs wear headphones when they test play the music. For some reason, yesterday they didn’t.

I can’t really blame the techs. They don’t choose the CDs that they use. They’re supplied by the company that manufactures the radios. So, I will be blaming those assholes because I had to put up with the most horrible music imaginable for over half a work day.

There were many things wrong with the music. One, it was a Celine Dion song. Two, it was the Titanic song. Three, IT WAS THE FUCKING CELINE DION TITANIC SONG FOR HOURS ON END!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only good part of it was that it was an instrumental version, which means I didn’t have to hear her voice. Unfortunately, it was a weird instrumental version. It didn’t sound like any instrument I had ever heard before. It sounded like a violin crossed with bagpipes.

It was 33 grams of torture. I might have to start taking ear plugs into work with me from now on….

Letter To The President

Dear Gordon Gee (President of Ohio State University),

I am a lifelong Ohio State fan. I have loved your university for as long as I can remember. I’ve stuck by it through good times, and bad. Now, you’ve come along and made all of the people who are fans of your university look like crap because you opened your mouth. Let me give you a piece of advice: Continue reading