RTotD: Underappreciated Disney Villain

When you think of Disney villains, who do you think of first? Scar? Maleficent? Jafar? Ursula?

While all of them make for good villains, there’s one that popped into my head that I think doesn’t get the credit they deserve.

Honest John.

How many of you know who that is without having to look it up?

If you don’t feel like going to Google, Honest John is a talking fox from Pinocchio that leads the young boy astray on a couple of occasions. Now, is he someone you think of when you think of Disney villains? Of course not. He’s probably not even who you think of when you think about Pinocchio villains. If you even think of Pinocchio villains at all, you probably think of Stromboli first. According to Wikipedia, despite the fact that there are a number of bad guys in the movie, Stromboli is the only one recognized as an Official Disney Villain.

Was Stromboli a bad guy? Sure, he was. He bought a little boy, locked him in a cage, and was going to force him to put on a show every night.

What about the coachman towards the end of the movie? He was a bad guy too. He bought Pinocchio and tried to turn him into a donkey so he could sell him. That’s pretty bad.

But, what do those two bad guys have in common? That’s right. They both bought Pinocchio from someone. And who did they buy him from? You guessed it. Honest John.

Honest John sold Pinocchio to two different bad guys. He manipulated the little boy into thinking they were friends and then sold him. Not once, but twice. Sure, he might not have known that Stromboli would treat Pinocchio like he did, but he knew exactly what was going to happen to Pinocchio when he sold him to the coachman (As far as I can tell, the coachman was never given a name).

And what punishment did Honest John get for his crimes at the end of the movie?

None. He got away with it (although, to be fair, none of the villains in Pinocchio are punished for their actions. They all got away with it). So, he’s still out there, causing trouble in the Pinocchio world. Who knows what other havoc he’s wreaking?

Hell, after the movie ended he might’ve thought up a third way of selling Pinocchio. It wouldn’t surprise me if he did.

RTotD 11-27

It’s that time again, dear readers. It’s time for me to inflict the randomness that infects my head onto you. I know, I know. You can hate me for it later.

This thought is centered around a show that Baby E watches off of Disney Junior called Sofia the First.

sofia

In it, the princess, Sofia, wears a magical amulet. This amulet’s magic depends on how good you are as a person. If you do good things, like help people out, it gives you good powers. If you’re bad, such as acting like a stuck up bitch, it will curse you until you right whatever wrong you committed.

Seems simple enough, right?

Well, one of the running stories in the show is that the kingdom’s bumbling sorcerer is always trying to steal the amulet from Sofia because he thinks the amulet will help him take over the kingdom.

Once again, sounds pretty simple.

However, there’s a┬áproblem that occurs when you combine those two things. Stealing the amulet is a bad thing, so it would curse him if he did end up stealing it from her. But, for the sake of argument, let’s say he somehow found a way to convince her to give him the amulet. There’d still be a problem. He’s planning on using it to overthrow the rightful king and queen of the kingdom, also a very bad thing.

So, either way, the amulet he’s been trying so hard to acquire, the one he’s spontaneously broken into song about repeatedly, would actually hinder his attempts to take over the kingdom because it would curse him as soon as he tried to use it.

I realize this is a kids’ show, and I’m probably overthinking this, but shouldn’t their shows make sense, if only for the incredibly bored parents that are being force to watch this drivel?

Granted, there are about two seasons worth of episodes that we don’t have access to (only the first two seasons are on Netflix), so maybe they’ve finally addressed this stupidity. I can only hope so. If not, when they finally release new episodes on Netflix, I’ll be forced to endure more of the pain.