Also fun for the weekend, if you didn’t take my suggestion yesterday, is reading the stories that I have on this here blog. You can find them on the My Stories tab at the top of my page. I have a Star War fan fiction. A Left 4 Dead fan fiction.
I also have 3 different comic book-type stories. There’s Dead Set, which is my serious one. Captain Procrastination is my off-the-wall goofy one. And DICO is…. well…. DICO is somewhere in the middle.
I’ve also done a short Superman fan fiction, and a Spider-Man one as well, but I haven’t added them to that page yet for some reason. I suppose I could do that now, while I’m thinking about it, but I’m channeling my inner Captain Procrastination at the moment. Oh, well. Maybe next time.
Speaking of “next time”, that’s when I’ll see you again, dear readers!
Mayor Poopenmeyer sat behind his desk, going over the latest city council proposal. In truth, he had very little interest in what was written there. After all, who cared about changes to parking zones? For the tenth time that day, he cursed the restrictions that were put on all the office computers. There was candy that needed crushed, but the site was blocked. He also chided himself for leaving his cell phone at home. From now on, he thought to himself, I need to keep a book in here so I have something better to read when I’m bored.
A knock on his office door made him jump slightly. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was still twenty minutes until his next appointment. The Transit Authority representative was never early. Before he could tell the knocker to come in, the door opened, revealing a thin man wearing tattered clothes. All he wanted to do was yell at the vagrant to get out of his office, but he held his tongue, knowing someone with a cell phone camera was probably within earshot.
“Excuse me, Mr. Mayor,” the man said.
It was probably going to be easier to pretend to listen to the man than to try to have him removed, so the mayor replied, “What can I do for you?”
“I’m hoping there’s something I can do for you.”
“And what’s that?
“Well, this city has been without a superhero since Captain Procrastination was killed. I’d like to be the next one.”
Captain Procrastination walked into the room. You could tell that he was having trouble seeing in the dark. “Dave,” his voiced echoed. “I got your message. I’m glad to finally hear from you again. It’s been awhile. I thought you were mad at me.”
Only silence answered him. He was beginning to get angry. “Look,” he announced, “I came because you said you had por….I mean, adult entertainment. If there’s none here, I’m going home.”
The light turned on, causing him to momentarily shield his eyes. Directly in front of him, but was covered by the darkness, was Skidmark. He was tied to a chair, with his mouth gagged. Captain Procrastination pointed and laughed for a minute before making any movement that could be considered helpful. Continue reading
(Narrator’s Note: Welcome back, dear readers, to everyone’s favorite superhero, Captain Procrastination. For the past couple of months, your hero has been incredibly busy saving people’s lives and rescuing those in distress. Because of how busy he was, he was unable to share his adventures with you. He’d like to apologize for the delay, and promise that it won’t happen again.
There. I said it. Now, where’s the hundred bucks you told me you’d give me for reading that garbage? And what’s with the “I promise it won’t happen again” bullshit? Procrastination is in your name. Of course it’s going to happen again.
What’s that? Yes, I know the microphone is still on. I’m not a moron like you. Sure, I’ll turn it off…. when you give me the money you owe me. 20, 40, 60, 80, 100. Pleasure doing business with you.
Now, please enjoy this episode of Captain Procrastination!) Continue reading
(Narrator’s Note: Welcome back, dear readers, to another adventure of your hero, Captain Procrastination. Your hero would like for me to tell you that he was NOT watching pornography in the last episode. In his mind, that would be an undignified thing for a hero to do. I’m tired of covering for him, however, so I will not be telling you that. I will no longer be wasting my time playing spin doctor for that fat piece of shi…Hey, what are you doing?….Ow. Give me that microphone back…OW! MY NIPPLE!)
(And stay out! Captain Procrastination’s Note: Due to technical difficulties, the rest of the Narrator’s Note has been lost. I apologize for any inconvenience that this may have caused. Now, onto the adventures of your hero! Continue reading
The TV screen showed an empty bank vault. He was about to turn it off when, suddenly, a rope dropped down from the ceiling. What is this, he asked himself. Patience wasn’t normally one of his virtues, but he decided he should continue watching to see if the was something he should do something about, or not.
Two people in ski masks descended down the rope. When they reached the floor, they took a quick look around before discovering that they were alone. Each of them unslung an empty canvas bag from around their shoulder and began filling it with money.