I Need to Wash My Brain

A few years ago (6 to be exact), I put up a story about a woman I used to work with that I called TMI Lady because of her habit of telling people a lot of personal things in her life that she should’ve kept to herself.

A few weeks ago, I told you about a guy I currently work with who believes he’s an outdoorsman because a Facebook quiz told him he was a redneck and he watched hunting videos.

I’m starting to think these two people are related in some way because he’s started telling me things about himself, and his personal life, that I never wanted to know and shouldn’t be told to anyone else. Not only did he tell me, I heard him telling other people (who looked just as disturbed as I was) these things as well. Normally, I don’t believe in inflicting discomfort on others, but in this case since I had to hear this crap, I’m forwarding the TMI to you all too.

In the past few weeks, he’s told me the following:

* He and his newlywed wife haven’t had sex in over two weeks.

* When they do have sex, because they are religious and don’t believe in using condoms, their preferred method of birth control is pulling out.

* On their honeymoon, he injured his neck somehow, so he bought his wife a vibrator to use if his neck was hurting too badly to perform his duties.

* He was going to an interview for a second job straight from clocking out at our place of employment. He told me he wasn’t going to poop until after it was over because he’s a bigger guy, which means he sometimes has problems completely wiping his butt, and he didn’t want to go to his interview smelling like crap.

None of that was anything I wanted to hear. I tried walking away when he was telling me these things, but he kept following me. I’m also still new enough at my job that being openly rude to someone (by telling them to shut the hell up) could end up biting me in the behind.

22 comments on “I Need to Wash My Brain

  1. Dani says:

    Wow. The butt wiping was definitely tmi. I don’t understand the things some people choose to share. We must surmise that to them this sharing is somehow normal. I don’t like when people post on social media very private medical stuff or personal and family problems.

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    You work with some humdingers, Dear Revis.

  3. Ocean Bream says:

    Oooh. Wow. That is way too TMI. Maybe he is lonely?

  4. That’s incredible! My goodness!

  5. Ocean Bream says:

    Just wanted to add how so-appropriate this title is.

  6. djmatticus says:

    Good stuff
    You’re so lucky to have such entertaining coworkers.

Revis "......."

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