The Facebook Outdoorsman

I can’t remember what brought it up, but I told a guy at work that he didn’t look like the outdoor type to me. He was very offended by this. Curious as to why that opinion of him was so offensive, I asked him why he was so upset by it. His reasoning was… baffling to me.

“How could you say that about me?” he whined. “I’m an outdoorsman.” And here comes the direct quote of his reasoning, “I took a Facebook quiz that said I’m a redneck. I answered ‘yes’ to 30 out of the 40 questions.”

I had to stop for a second before saying anything because I thought he was joking with me at first. No. He was dead serious. I tried to sift my way through the nonexistent logic. “I’ve lived in southern states for the majority of my life. I’d probably answer yes to most of those questions too, but I’m no redneck,” I said. “Besides, being a redneck and being an outdoorsman aren’t the same thing.”

“I’ve hiked,” he argued back.

“I’ve been hiking too, but that doesn’t make me an outdoorsman.”

“I watch hunting videos.”

“Ok, but have you ever actually gone hunting?”

“Well, no, but…”

I didn’t hear what he said next because I was too busy laughing. He walked away grumbling and was pissy with me the rest of the day. I went home after work and watched a couple episodes of House, which by his logic, makes me some kind of medical professional.