No Dumping

It has been far too long since my last Movement Movement post, which is a crime. I believe in the Movement Movement. I believe that as a society we should get past the stigma associated with talking about bowel movements. It’s not a big deal. Everyone poops. We all have to deal with it. So, why is it that it’s not supposed to be brought up in polite conversation?

Besides, how are me and Miss Four Eyes supposed to take over the world without our movements?
This post will be about something that most, if not all, parents will understand.

I can no longer take dumps anymore.

Sure, I still poop, but I can’t take any more “sit on the toilet and destroy it until I feel better” dumps. Now my life consists of days filled with a bunch of micropoops.

When I’m at home, if I’m in the bathroom longer than a minute, that’s when Baby E decides that she has to go potty too. Even though there are two other bathrooms in our house, she has to use the one I’m in.

If I’m at work,  it’s usually about the same thing. It seems like every time I sit down, a minute later there’s a knock on the door asking how much longer I’ll be.

I can’t remember the last time I had a nice long dump. If I ever get the opportunity to have one in the near future, it’d probably start feeling too weird and I’d get up before I was finished anyways.

4 comments on “No Dumping

  1. I think poop is what makes the world go round.

    You should pursuade Mrs Revis to take Baby E out shopping to give you an hour in the house by yourself so that you can have the time to take that dump.

  2. MissFourEyes says:

    This is the saddest thing I’ve ever heard! I’m so sorry about your micropoops, Revis. That’s just not right. Everyone should be able to take giant Goliath-poops! Be brave, Revis, you can get through this. Its just a phase; and it, like poop, shall pass eventually.

Revis "......."

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