Lisa looked out the window and cursed her ex-husband. He had been much more timid and easier to manipulate before he found out about her cheating. Now, instead of cowering before her, he demands paternity tests and says things like, “Lisa being a whore does not, and should not, entitle her to 18 years worth of my money,” in court when he finds out their son isn’t actually his. The worst part was when the judge agreed with him and stopped making him pay child support.
Look at me now, she thought. I’m riding a bus to the grocery store because my sister can’t give me a ride.
In the seat next to her, Jason, her son, giggled. When she turned to ask him what was so funny, she saw that he was staring at the man sitting across the aisle from them. The man was pole thin, wearing clothes that probably stunk and had seen much better days. “Don’t stare,” she scolded her child.
“But I can see his boobies,” Jason laughed.
“So can I,” Lisa added in contempt, loud enough for the man to hear.
It amazed him that nobody thought he might wear his clothes this way for a reason, other than not having any money, but DICO was used to it by now. He excused the kids. They didn’t know any better. The grownups, on the other hand, needed a lesson in manners every once in awhile.
“You know what’s even funnier, ” DICO asked the little boy. “Even though mine haven’t covered up in years, more people have still seen your mother’s boobies.”
After slapping him, and telling him to fornicate with himself in very colorful language, Lisa grabbed her son’s hand and walked away. DICO let her go without further incident. He had more important things to worry about. The mayor had given him 24 hours to make it onto the news for stopping a crime. Five of those hours were already gone. This was the fourth call he had heard over the police band about an armed robbery. The first three had been taken care of before he got there. If only I had been given Captain Procrastination’s powers instead of mine, he lamented.
Vowing to procure himself a better ride than public transportation when he was made the city’s official superhero, he smiled as the bus pulled up to his stop. DICO hopped down to the street and ran the remaining two blocks. He stopped in front of the little corner store that had called about the robbery. Sure enough, he was able to see a shotgun wielding man through the window. After taking a second to calm himself, he threw the door open and ran inside.
Or tried to, anyway. There was a slight step up into the store. Instead of making it inside, his toe caught on the step and he fell face first onto the floor.
What may have been an embarrassing start to his superhero career turned out to be a blessing in disguise. When the armed man heard the door open, he turned and fired. If DICO hadn’t fallen, he would’ve been blasted by buck shot. “What did I tell you about coming back,” the shooter screamed as he reloaded. DICO got back to his feet quickly, wanting to interrupt him from putting more shells in the gun. When the man saw him, he did stop. A look of confusion played across his face. “You’re not him.”
“No, I’m DICO and you have 5 seconds to drop that gun or I’m going to make you regret it.”
“I knew it,” the man exclaimed as he raised the gun. “You’re another robber!”
“I’m not a robber,” DICO quickly explained, not wanting to get shot at again. “I’m a superhero sent by the mayor to fight crime. ”
“You’re a superhero? What’s your power? The ability to stink up a room without having to fart?”
No, it’s the ability to not kill smartass citizens when they piss me off, DICO thought, but didn’t say. “Just tell me what happened, sir.”
“What’s to tell? I was working the register, some guy comes in with a gun, I pull out my shotgun, he runs away, I call it in, and now I’m waiting for the cops to show.”
Great, DICO thought. Too late again.
Suddenly, the man pointed over DICO’s shoulder and frantically shouted, “He’s back!”
DICO turned to face the threat. He didn’t see anything on the outside, but a reflection in the mirror showed the man he thought was a store employee aiming the shotgun at his back.
TO BE CONTINUED….