Banned For Life

Not that long ago, I went to a store.

I know that’s not a very exciting tale, but considering I was once told I was never allowed to come back, it is somewhat interesting. Personally, I find it humorous,  especially since I did nothing to deserve this lifelong ban. Of course, I also find it humorous that I’ve been there several times since my ban and nobody has ever said anything to me.

The whole thing started a few months after I graduated high school. At the time, I was working the fast food job I had while still attending classes. I felt I needed to get away from fast food, so I applied for a job at the store. I got the job.

The store was almost brand new when I began working there. It had only been open for a couple of months. My job was in the meat department. I worked behind the counter handing out steaks and ground beef. I also had to stock the lunch meats and other various meat products out on the shelves. The job wasn’t hard. My coworkers weren’t that bad.  It was an ok job.

A few months go by and I wasn’t getting as many hours as I wanted. I was always scheduled 6 hours a day, 5 days a week (30 hours). I needed more. So, I talked to my department manager about working more and he said he’d give me the hours that I wanted. I checked the next scheduled that came out. There was a problem.

Now, I was scheduled 5 hours a day, 6 days a week. Ummm…. WHAT???

How the hell does that work? It’s the same amount of hours. I just had to work an extra day now. That day, I went and voiced my concerns to him. I think it went something like this: “What the hell, man???”

He claimed it was a mistake and that he would fix it. Ok. I gave him that one. Then, the next schedule came out and it was the same. So was the one after it. I was tired of working 6 days a week and only having 30 hours to show for it.

I started putting in applications at other places and it wasn’t long before I was hired on somewhere. In retrospect, probably should’ve put in my two weeks notice and worked it out. But, I was an 18 year old kid who was pissed off about getting screwed over.

I simply stopped going in.

On the third day of me not showing up, I got a call from them. Here is the entire conversation:

“Revis, this is Manager Man from the store. Are you coming in today?”


“Did you call anyone to let them know?”


“Do you want this job?”



That was it. That was all that was ever said between us. A week or so later, I went in to pick up my final paycheck stub (They forced you to do direct deposit). One of my former coworkers came up to me and told me he couldn’t believe what I had said to the manager. I was confused. I said three words to him the whole time and they were all “no”. I asked for clarification.

Apparently, the manager went around and told everyone that I cussed him out on the phone. He said I called him every name in the book and told him I would kick his ass.

At first, I thought my coworker was joking so I started laughing. Then, he told me he was serious. That asshole was actually telling everyone that. Now, I was pissed.

“Is he here now,” I asked. “If he’s going to accuse me of it, I might as well do it.”

Sadly, he was off that day, so I was never able to actually cuss him out. The manager who was there, and gave me my check stub, told me that because of my tirade over the phone and the threat of kicking someone’s ass, I was no longer allowed to come into the store…. ever.

I laughed again, right in his face. He was not as amused as I was and had someone escort me out the front door.

It was years before I ever set foot inside there again,  not because I was afraid I was going to get in trouble there, but because I could get anything they had somewhere else. The only reason I went back was i heard they finally had something I could only get there. What I found out when I got there? Nobody there remembered me.

So, basically, a lifetime ban means that you’re only banned until the asshole who gets you banned leaves the store.

This entry was posted in Life.

6 comments on “Banned For Life

  1. The Cutter says:

    Come on, fess up. You pooped in the sink, right? That’s the real reason for the ban, right?

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    I hate managers who lie to make themselves look good. Fuck that shit.

Revis "......."

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