Never Hit a Girl

When I was growing up, that was something both of my parents would always tell me: “Never hit a girl”. Actually, I’m pretty sure they told me not to hit anyone, but I had brothers so hitting definitely occurred. I was able to abide by the “Don’t hit girls” rule, however.

To this day, I have never broken that rule. This morning, though, I thought about it.

Baby E has been sick the past few days. She has strep throat. Anyone that has little kids will tell you that when they’re sick, kids get very whiny and clingy. This morning she was feeling better…. until I had to start getting ready for work. I took off of work yesterday to stay home with her and I guess she thought I was going to do the same today. If I had the sick time to cover it, I probably would have.

I tell her to change out of her pajamas and into her clothes. That’s when she started fighting me. Instead of getting ready, she started crying and wanted me to hold her. Normally, I love it when she gets cuddly on me. Today, I had to work.

Long story short, I had to dress her myself while she fought me. It made me start running late. So, I picked her up and carried her out to my car. That’s when I ran across the girl that made me want to hit her.

In my apartment complex, each unit has one assigned parking spot. Each parking lot has a few extra spots that are first come/first serve. Last night, all the free spots were taken, so I parked on the street. When I carried Baby E out to the car this morning, there was only one car on the street and it was directly behind mine.

As I was strapping Baby E into her car seat, another car pulled up and parked…. right in front of mine. There was at least 20 feet of free space in front of my car, but this bitch parked directly in front of me. It wouldn’t have bothered me me so much except that she parked so close to me that I couldn’t pull out without hitting her car.

The only thing I could do was back up until I had almost hit the car behind me and turned the wheel as far as it would go. I’m already running behind and now I have to waste more of it pulling out of a parking space that should’ve only taken me two seconds to get out of.

The thing that irritated me the most (and made me want to get out of the car and deck this bitch) was that the entire time I was getting my car out of this spot, she was standing by her car watching me with a shit-eating grin on her face. She thought it was funny.

If I were a worse person, I’d let the air out of her tires the next time I saw her car there. Actually, if I had been late for work (I clocked in with a minute to spare) I probably would have. As it stands, it’s still damn tempting.

This entry was posted in Life and tagged .

17 comments on “Never Hit a Girl

  1. Scott says:

    You can always take the valve core out of her tire next time you see it.

  2. 1jaded1 says:

    That sucks. I hope she gets a parasite.. Ugh. Karma for me but worth it.

    • One of my pet peeves at work is people who put Styrofoam packing peanuts in the boxes that they ship the radios to us in, because those static-covered little bastards get everywhere. One time, I told one of my coworkers that I hoped that everyone at one particular company (who always uses an overabundance of those things) would all get diarrhea at the same time and not have enough toilets for everybody.

      Apparently, that made me an asshole.

  3. bardictale says:

    I think she doesn’t fit the definition of “girl” anymore, but rather “she who better hide next time I see her”.

  4. She was probably waiting for you to ask her to move her car. Or pissed off with men in general because one bitched about her getting into a parking space once, and so decided to get her own back on men by picking on you.

    Stupid cow.

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