According to the notification I just got from WordPress, yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my blog. Please, hold your applause. No…. wait a minute. On second thought, don’t hold your applause. Make it loud. I’ll wait….
I can’t hear you….
You’re not applauding, are you? Sigh….
Anyways, in honor of this, I thought I’d tell a story from within that period of time. I’m pretty sure I’ve never told this one before. I suppose I could look it up, but that seems like more time than I want to spend on it. Besides, it’s not going to hurt you to read it again if I’ve already told it.
About two and a half years ago, my company had taken on a side job. There were three of us out in the warehouse back then. Me, the guy who got me the job (who we’ll call Bill from now on), and my team lead. The side job added more work than the three of us could handle on top our regular duties, so they decided to go with a temp. For that temp, my team lead suggested his then-girlfriend’s (now, his wife) brother. Me and Bill didn’t think this was the best idea. He did it anyways.
For a few days, it seemed as if my team lead was right. His future brother-in-law did ok. There were no major problems… at first. Then, on the fifth day, it happened.
I came into work and everything seemed normal. Everyone was doing what they were supposed to be doing. So, I went off and did what I was supposed to be doing. An hour or two later, I walked back to where Bill and the team lead’s brother-in-law were working to ask Bill a question. Bill was alone. I asked him where his help went. All I got was five straight minutes of laughter. What the hell?
About that time, my team lead walked into the room and he didn’t look happy. In fact, he seemed pretty pissed off. I asked him what was going on. “My girlfriend’s brother left because he just shit his pants.”
Oh, wait. He was being serious… BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Now, in the guy’s defense, he later went to the doctor and it was revealed he had the flu, so his stomach was messed up. However, it was what he did afterwards that makes me label him a dumbass: He admitted it!!
All he had to do was go up to his sister’s boyfriend and say, “Hey, man, I’m not feeling good. I’m going home.” But, instead, this idiot walks up and freely admits he shit his pants.
Now, over two years later, whenever my team lead mentions his brother-in-law in a story, either me or Bill (or both) whip out our best Leslie Nielsen impression and shout, “Mr. Poopypants!”