Versus: Episode 3

We’re on to Episode 3 here on Versus. I’m hoping you’ve enjoyed the ride so far. Just remember to let your opinion be known in the comments, whether you agree or disagree with me. Also, don’t forget to submit any matchup ideas you may have for me at the bottom of the page.

Our first matchup was suggested by bardictale, our friendly neighborhood bartender.

ROUND 1: BETTER DOCTOR: HOUSE (HOUSE, M.D) VS BONES (STAR TREK)
Right off the bat, this one is kind of unfair. Bones has hundreds of years worth of new medical technology that House doesn’t have access to. All Bones has to do is pull out a pocket scanner and it tells him everything right away. House has to order numerous tests, then has to wait around for the results. Also, most of the diseases House busts his ass to figure out probably all have cures by the time Bones is even born.

So, I guess the better way of phrasing this would be: which of those doctors would I rather have working on me if it was my life on the line? If the technology was equal, I’d have to go with House.

Don’t get me wrong, Bones is a good doctor, but House is the best doctor. People came from all over the world to see House. Spouses risked their lives to get their loved one in to see House.
And, if all that technology failed, I’d trust that House would have a better shot at figuring out what was wrong with me than Bones would. Granted, all I’ve ever seen is the movies, but I don’t remember Bones doing much more than scanning people and giving shots. Give me the guy who gets pissed off, and more determined, when he can’t figure out what’s wrong with me. That means he’s not going to quit until he has his answer.

ROUND 2: WORSE PORTRAYAL OF A BATMAN VILLAIN: JIM CARREY AS THE RIDDLER (BATMAN FOREVER) VS ARNOLD SCHWARZENNEGGER AS MR. FREEZE (BATMAN AND ROBIN)
This could honestly be a free-for-all with any of the villains in either of those movies. None of them were any good. So, those of us at work picked one from each, and these were the two.

To be honest, I thought that Jim Carrey was about the only thing that made Batman Forever watchable. He did a good Joker in that movie. The only problem is that he was playing the Riddler. His version of the Riddler was acting like the Joker, while throwing in a riddle every once in a while. At least Tommy Lee Jones, as Two Face, was somewhat faithful to the character, even if his acting was way over the top. Of course, everyone’s acting was way over the top in that movie.

Arnold as Mr. Freeze was an even bigger travesty. All he did was spout idiotic catchphrases and even more idiotic puns. There was no character in his portrayal. Then again, there was nothing good about this movie, period. Batman and Robin was one of the biggest bunches of suck that I’ve ever had to sit through.

So, in conclusion, while Jim Carrey played the wrong character, at least he had one. Plus, his movie didn’t suck as bad as Arnold’s did.

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10 comments on “Versus: Episode 3

  1. MissFourEyes says:

    Arnold as Mr. Freeze was just wrong.

  2. bardictale says:

    In TOS Bones can save you from almost anything, as long as: 1. you’re not a redshirt. 2. you have something rare, uncommon or just unheard of. 3. you weren’t shot, because then you’re dead before you hit the ground.
    The tech failed many times (Miri, for example), but if you had to go by the movies only, then yeah, House wins.
    Otherwise, House has the tendency to make things much worse before saving you. He’ll kill your liver, kidneys and heart before he finds the right answer, which is why I’d prefer Bones who has the decency to restore you to full health.

    In Jim Carrey’s defense, the Riddler is lame. So is Mr.Freeze, but he’s a walking ice cube with no sense of humor, so there was no chance that he could be interesting. If you’re going to make a batman movie, leave the small fry behind.

  3. Twindaddy says:

    Bones. Hands down. House normally gets the job down, but after putting the patient through hell first.

    Jim Carrey’s portrayal of the Riddler wasn’t accurate, but at least it was entertaining. The only character Arnold portrayed well was the Terminator and that’s only because the Terminator HAS no character. Arnold sucks at acting.

    • The only reason House put the patient through hell is because he doesn’t have the technology that Bones does. If he had Star Trek scanning equipment, the only pain his patients would feel is the lash of his sharp tongue.

      Yeah. Arnold can emote about as well as a rock.

  4. djmatticus says:

    I agree on both counts.
    House will do whatever he has to in order to keep you alive.
    And Arnold was terrible as Mr. Freeze. While I could argue that we should cut him some slack because the writing was terrible, we’ve seen other actors do better with less. Then again, that sounds dangerously close to me calling Arnold an actor. And, I don’t want to do that.

  5. 1jaded1 says:

    Agree with both. Carrey should have played The Joker. I wasn’t a fan of that entire line. Batman is supposed.to be dark and there was too much camp. Felt the same about the tv show. Nice matchups.

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