Not Saved By The Bell

In my house, there is a routine. For the most part, the same thing happens every night, the only thing that’s different is the times. The routine is this: I will stay up as long as I can after my wife falls asleep. That way, if Baby E wakes up, I can get her while Mrs. Revis catches at least a few hours of rest. After I go to sleep, Mrs. Revis will wake up with Baby E, if she wakes up, that way I can get some sleep before I have to go to work in the morning. Granted, it’s not a perfect set-up, but we work with what we’ve got.

Last night, everything was going as it normally did. My wife had been asleep for a little while (about an hour, hour and a half) and I was done watching something on NFL Network. I brought up the guide on the DIRECTV and started looking through the listings on the movie channels for something to watch. Off to the side, I hear my daughter’s voice through the baby monitor as she starts to cry. At first, it’s not very loud, so I took my time. I set the remote down on the bed and looked at my wife to make sure that Baby E didn’t wake her up. She didn’t. When I looked back up, I saw something on the TV that I was not expecting to see…….

Boobies.

Saved By The Bell boobies, to be exact, as I had apparently hit the button to change the channel to one that was playing Showgirls.

I momentarily froze. After all, I am a man and there were boobies on the TV. I had to look for at least a few seconds. It was during that few seconds, however, that my daughter decided she didn’t like how long I was taking and started crying at the top of her lungs. This time, my wife did wake up. She bolted upright almost immediately. Normally, when she wakes up to the baby crying, she’ll look over at me to see if I’m awake. Instead of looking at me, though, she looked right at the TV….to see boobies.

I panicked. Only knowing a few channels by heart, I frantically put the first one that came to mind in (Although, in retrospect, all I really needed to do is hit the previous button and it would’ve taken me back to the NFL Network). I waited for the channel to switch to ESPN for what seemed like minutes, though it was only a couple of seconds. Once it did, I put the remote down and went running to get Baby E.

I picked my daughter up and tried to get her to go back to sleep, but she wouldn’t do it. So, I brought her back into my bedroom so she could lay down on the bed with me and Mrs. Revis until she went back to sleep. As I walked back into the bedroom, I was glad to see that Mrs. Revis had fallen back asleep. After laying down in the bed for five minutes, Baby E fell back asleep as well, so I put her back into her bed. At this point, I decided it was probably best for me to go to sleep.

When I woke up this morning, I was expecting to have my wife say something to me about the Showgirls incident, but to her credit, she didn’t. I’m sure that would’ve been an awkward conversation because it’s not like anyone can claim to watch that movie for the acting or the writing. If you’ve seen that movie, you know that there were none of either in it (Yes, I must admit that when the movie first came out, I did watch it. All you heard about that movie beforehand was that the Saved By The Bell chick got naked in it. Out of sheer curiosity, I had to see if she actually did).

Of course, she might not have even remembered waking up and seeing that. I might have just outed myself (if she reads this). Oh well. I had to tell you all. It was funny. After she reads this, she’ll probably just roll her eyes, look at me, and say, “You’re crazy”.

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24 comments on “Not Saved By The Bell

  1. Deer caught in the headlights comes to mind…lol

  2. sortaginger says:

    Or a deer caught in high beams…

  3. BrainRants says:

    Practice this line until you sound sincere: “Baby, the second you woke up, I was thinking to myself, ‘Those have nothing on my girl’s.'”

  4. wsforchrist says:

    Funny. Reminds me of the time, when the internet was young, I sent my first ecard to my daughter for Valentines Day. Somehow I had gotten hooked up with a site that sent photos of nude girls. Worst part was that Daughter P opened the card at work, in full view of several co-workers. The embarrassment was all hers.

  5. 1jaded1 says:

    Ha! This was hilarious….and you said boobies…

  6. Alynia says:

    Haha so my fiance is not the only one who gets distracted by boobies 😉
    Actually, boobies have been one of his Aspie obsessions even before we met haha. And I know he always likes mine best, so I don’t mind – although I think it is rather funny when he tries not to get all bouncy and proud about my boobs when others are around =P

  7. You are crazy… for boobies…

  8. The Hook says:

    We watch TV in bed and when my wife falls asleep, I channel surf. Of course, you know I stumble upon nakedness. And you know THAT’S when the wife wakes up…

  9. Cat says:

    Thanks for the laugh!

  10. djmatticus says:

    Hahaha, you’re crazy! That’s why you watch TV out in the living room instead of in the bedroom. Rookie mistake. 😉 (Says the rookie. Oh my, you would not believe the night we had last night…)

    • The living room is downstairs. The bedrooms are upstairs. If I stayed downstairs, Baby E’s crying would wake Mrs. Revis up long before I could get to her. I think I just need to make sure I don’t change the channel the next time I put the remote down. I’m still not sure how the hell that happened….

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