I’m So Sorry

If you’ve read my blog for the past few years, you might have noticed that I’ve mentioned my friend Sac-Town a few times. He was part of my video game crew. I told you what happened the time a couple of Mormons dropped by his house. I shared with you his account of what happened during one of the Metallica concerts we went to. These are just a few of our adventures together. Maybe some day I’ll tell you a few more. For now, though, what I will tell you is this:

There was a time when the two of us saw each other 6 out of the 7 days a week. We were inseparable. Eventually, life, as it always does, started to get in the way.

He got married. We started hanging out less. He had a son. We hung out less. I got married. Less. He got divorced. Less. I had a daughter. Less. He had a second son. Less. He got married again. Less.

It got to the point to where it was a couple of months in between seeing each other. His second son was a month old before I was able to see him for the first time. This part of our friendship together is one of the things that inspired me to write this.

We recognized what was happening and we decided it was time to change it. Our families went out to dinner together two weekends ago: my wife, my daughter, and myself along with him, his new wife, and both of his sons. Before we left the restaurant, we agreed that every other weekend, we would take turns hosting dinners out our houses. That way, there’s only a couple of weeks at most in between visits. The Saturday coming up was supposed to be the first one. My wife and daughter were supposed to come with me over to his house.

That’s not going to happen anymore.

I will still see him on Saturday, but it won’t be at his house. It will be at the funeral home. His second son, only 5 months old, died this week.

I can’t imagine what he’s going through. I do my best to not think about it because I never want to be in the position that he’s in. All I will do is try to be there for him as best I can, because I know that there’s nothing that I’ll be able to do that can make him feel any better.

My own emotions, which are nowhere near the level that Sac-Town’s are, are a chaotic jumble. I feel angry that his son was taken from this world. I feel saddened, both for the boy and his parents. Mostly, though, I just feel guilty: guilty that I never made more of an effort to see them before this happened.

I try to spend as much time with my wife and daughter as I can. Sure, there are times where I’m glad it was just the three of us. There were also times that it could’ve been more than that. There were times where we took our daughter up to the park to put her on the swings and slides. How easy would it have been to call Sac-Town, or text him, and say, “Hey, we’re going to the park. Want to meet us up there?” Even if he had come back and said that they were too busy, at least I could have said I tried.

For now, all I can say is: I’m sorry, little man. I should have been there to hold you more. Just know that your Uncle Revis loves you and I know that no matter where you are, it is certainly a better place for having you there.

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16 comments on “I’m So Sorry

  1. superbitch901 says:

    It’s so sad, no matter what! My heart breaks! Thoughts and prayers for Sac and his family. No matter that we aren’t friends anymore, no one should have to face this!

  2. How awful….I’m so sorry for your friend and the loss of his little one. I’m sure he’s happy to know that you will be there for him. No matter how much time you missed in between, at the end of the day you are still friends and your support will mean the world to him.

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    Dear Revis, I’m so sorry. Your friend and you are in my thoughts.

  4. TammyeHoney says:

    My prayers to both families during this time. Being there now will help more than you will ever realize. Thank you for the courage to share this with your readers.

  5. sortaginger says:

    I am so sorry to hear this. Wishing him and his family strength in the days ahead.

  6. djmatticus says:

    … I don’t have the words. I can’t imagine. I’m sorry.

  7. El Guapo says:

    It’s good his family has friends like you at a time like this.

  8. There’s not much you can do except just be there for your friend, and it looks like you’re doing that. Life throws us some crap at times, but what makes us strong is how we deal with it and how we reach out to those who are hurting.

  9. […] here in Stuphland. On top of the normal BS (such as work and, in my case, always being in pain), this happened. Then this happened. Like I said, a shitty […]

  10. The Hook says:

    Be strong, Revis. At least there is peace on the other side – I hope.

Revis "......."

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