I saw something on TV the other night that had my mind start with one thing and then go completely weird. It started with Superman and somehow ended up with groups of people sniffing cocaine.
How did it get there? Let’s examine the steps I took to get from Superman to cocaine sniffers.
- I was fast-forwarding through commercials during a show on my DVR. I don’t know if it was one commercial or two, but it was for the new Superman movie and Burger King.
- I thought to myself, “Great. After eating Burger King, Superman will have gas.”
- Wait a minute, how does Superman ever have a place to live? Wouldn’t his house explode every time he farted? A Superman fart would hit like a missile.
- Hmmm, what if Superman didn’t fart like the rest of us. Maybe, his Kryptonian anatomy doesn’t produce methane like a human body does.
- If he doesn’t produce methane with his farts, what does he produce with them? Maybe Superman farts oxygen.
- The Stephen Lynch song pops into my head with the line “And I swear I’m farting lines of blow into my underwear.”
- Now it’s Superman farting cocaine.
- Superman can’t fart cocaine. He’s Superman. He wouldn’t have anything to do with cocaine.
- What if there was a guy who actually farted cocaine?
- If there was a guy who farted cocaine, would he have a bunch of cokeheads following him around all the time trying to sniff his ass?
That’s when I stopped because I was busy laughing at the mental image of people following a guy around, trying to sniff his ass. See? Now that I explained it, do you understand how I can get from 1 to 10?