I Could Never Be Famous

I’ve seen quite a few posts by fellow bloggers recently taking about fame or being famous. Personally, I don’t see how anyone can handle fame nowadays in our 24/7 tabloid, “I’ve got to know everything about my favorite celebrity” culture. I don’t get the facination with celebrities in the first place. They’re just regular people who just have much cooler jobs than the rest of us. That’s it. That doesn’t make them better, or more interesting, than you or me.

When I was a kid, I used to dream about becoming famous: being a rock star, bursting onto the scene as the next big superstar athelete, or starring in hundreds of movies. It was so much simpler back then. Sure, there were scandals, but nowhere near to the level that they are now. I’m expecting E! to break into regularly scheduled programming the next time a celebrity wears sweatpants while out jogging.

(On a side note: Why does Joan Rivers have a fashion show? Who thought this was a good idea? Why does anyone care what she has to say about anything? And why should anyone take appearance advice from someone who has more plastic in her face than Barbie?)

If I were given the opportunity to star in a movie now, though, I don’t know if I would take it. Well, I’d probably take it, I just don’t know if I could handle it if the movie did well and launched me into stardom. I don’t think I’d be able to tolerate all of those reporters and their stupid questions. My family is not known for its tolerance of stupidity, so I’d probably get in trouble with the movie studio when I went on the promotional tour.

If I were a celebrity, and was asked a question about my work (if I was an actor, a question about my movies, or if I was a musician, a question about my music) I’d have no problem answering those. I’d probably enjoy it. Once I got asked questions that I thought were stupid, though, I’d give them a 4 word response every time, “Fuck you. Next question.”

This would probably not go over too well with the studio. They’d want me to act nice and polite. I wouldn’t do that, however. I’d give the reporters exactly what they give me. If they give me nice, polite, smart questions, I’d give them nice, polite, smart answers. If they give me anything else, I’d give them as much grief as I possible could.

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41 comments on “I Could Never Be Famous

  1. El Guapo says:

    Fortunately, there are still celebrities who manage to keep their non-work lives out of the tabloids.
    And then there are the idiots.

  2. Elyse says:

    Would you be giving Charlie Sheen a run for his money????

    I agree with you — I don’t suffer fools gladly. I would face-palm myself through interviews.

    We can still be wildly famous bloggers, though, right?

  3. Mooselicker says:

    Become a cult hero. It’s like being famous except people actually appreciate you.

  4. betiyo says:

    I could totally be famous. I’d find it the greatest challenge to change stupidity into reasoning but I would accept the challenge anyday.

  5. TammyeHoney says:

    On my worst morning wake up with a cat in my hair all night, I still do not look as bad as Joan Rivers…This is a plus… Thanks for sharing. Perhaps Your blog site will make you famous or Baby C….

  6. Nagzilla says:

    I think “fuck you, next question” is the most awesome response ever. The studio may hate you, but I’ll bet your fans would love it.

    On a random side note, I would pay to see a politician use that comeback sometime. Democrat or Republican, if he’d say “fuck you, next question” I’d vote for him or her.

  7. La La says:

    Annnd this is why I don’t actually want to be famous. Just Katie famous.

  8. Well that’s it, I’m not making you famous!

  9. ohiasia says:

    I was once a famous celebrity – think Christian Slater / Julia Stiles level fame – and I hated it. I basically couldn’t go out in public without bracing myself & putting my guard way up. For years, I couldn’t fully “relax” unless I was holed up at home with the drapes drawn. I’d never admit this (because fans would resent it and turn on me, making things even worse – I’d seen it happen) but I despised being known.

    Then one day, I was granted one wish. I didn’t wish for more money, more fame or even immortality. I wished to be just “a regular person” again. My wish was granted and here I am, relishing my anonymity. I can walk down any street I please and not be accosted with, “Oh-oh! Omigerrrrrd, is that–” No one comes up and paws at my hair and clothes anymore. Even in crowds, I’m as good as invisible. After what I’ve been through, it’s really the best feeling in the world.

    This is what I pretend sometimes.

  10. List of X says:

    Just to give you an opportunity to practice, “Who was the bigger influence in you becoming famous, Snow White or Maurice from the Bee Gees?”

  11. Lot of good truths in this post Revis!! And I agree, somewhat. I absolutely have no idea why Joan Rivers has an audience for her Fashion Police show! I’ve said the same thing to my husband, “How the hell does that woman have the right, opinion and/or credentials to give fashion advice!!?!” … and who gives a shit what her opinion is anyway!! Her face… and voice… are both slightly painful too look at and listen to… ICK!! If I had the chance to have a leading roll in a movie, however, I would definitely take it!! ((I have been in 3 movies as an extra and they were super fun to shoot!! Being on the set of a movie is just what you would think it is… people & cameras & racks of clothes and props everywhere… and when the scene is finished, they yell “That’s a wrap!!” … a cool thing to experience & say I’ve done!!)) πŸ™‚

  12. 1jaded1 says:

    Revis. Awesome post as always. I love fuck you next question, great response. Please get famous so I can hear you say it. I have enough anxiety going out as a non famous person, so it will never happen. Behind the scenes all the way. BTW, my mom watches the train wreck known as joan…I leave the room every time.

    J.

  13. I’ve never wanted to be famous. I’ve always wanted to be an artist, just not famous. I enjoy it, it makes me happy, but I don’t like being in the spotlight. I just like letting out what is in my head.

    • I doubt I could ever be famous anyways. I’m not in good enough shape to be an athlete, I don’t know how to play an instrument, and I’m not really a leading man type. If I were to be good enough of an actor, I’d be a role-player or comedic sidekick, at best.

  14. MissFourEyes says:

    β€œFuck you. Next question.” is the most perfect response to practically everything. I’d like to be minor-ly famous. Famous enough to feel validated, yet not so much to have stalkers.

  15. I totally understand where you’re coming from. Especially when you see what the pressure of fame does to some people (eg George Best). I’d rather be me – far more interesting!

Revis "......."

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