Looking Around For Adolf

That last wedding story reminded me of this one. This one might be one of those “you had to be there” stories, but I don’t care. I’m telling it anyways, cause I think it’s hilarious.
A long time ago, in a state that’s somewhat far away, my family and I were invited to my cousin’s wedding. As we don’t get to see them that often, we decided that this happy occasion was a good reason for visiting. We loaded ourselves in the car and drove up to Detroit to witness the festivities. We arrived the night before the wedding and hung out with some of our aunts/uncles/cousins before we got to see the rest of them the next day.

On our way to the wedding, we learned it was going to be a Catholic service. This was not good news for us, as Catholic weddings are long and very boring to sit through. I was hoping that I’d be able to stay awake during the entire service. We entered the church, found our seats, and mingled until the wedding started. As I suspected, the service was very long and incredibly boring. Towards the end of it, however, I saw something that I had never seen at a Catholic wedding before. The priest had the couple kneel down in front of him, and put his hand out over their heads (to send his love and prayers to the bride and groom), making him look like this.

That’s right, it looked like he was giving the nazi salute.

Then, he told everyone else in the church to follow suit, so they did it too. Now, the whole crowd (except for me and the person on either side of me) was giving the happy couple the nazi salute, making the church look like this.


At this point, I had to cough to cover up the fact that I was trying not to laugh. My younger brother, who was on one side, and my wife (although we weren’t married yet at the time) who was on the other, both gave me the “What’s so funny?” look. I gestured to the crowd and, recalling what I had seen of them in the movies, I snapped off my best full-motion nazi salute, including slapping my feet together.
They both immediately got what I was saying, and now they needed to stop themselves from laughing too. My mom, who was on the other side of my brother, gave me “The Look” so, I let it go after that. Later on, at the reception (when everyone was drinking) I busted the salute out a couple more times for comedic effect. Strangely, nobody, except for the three of us, thought that what the rest of them did was odd.

I still have yet to see this done at any other wedding that I’ve attended. It was weird as hell.


19 comments on “Looking Around For Adolf

  1. 1jaded1 says:

    Never been to a Catholic wedding like that. Which church?

  2. merbear74 says:

    Those crazy ass Catholics.

  3. Elyse says:

    Was Benedict — the former Nazi-youth Pope at the time? That might explain everything.

  4. The Hook says:

    “I still have yet to see this done at any other wedding that I’ve attended. It was weird as hell.”
    I won’t argue that point!

  5. I was just involved in a catholic wedding a few weeks ago. No we didn’t have to opportunity to participate in the nazi salute, but the visual I had in my head when reading this was amazing! I am a severely prone to inappropriate laughter and this situation would have left little hope for me acting like an adult.

    • Luckily, the only one who saw us mocking the situation was my mother and all she did was give us “The Look”. Then, we waited until they started singing to laugh, that way nobody heard us.

  6. ohiasia says:

    That’s too weird. Wonder if Sieg Heil meant something before Adolph got ahold of it? The Nazis thoroughly ruined the centuries-old Buddhist (as well as Native American and others) swastica. Both clock and counterclockwise swasticas are still in designs and tiles of churches and restored buildings from New Mexico to Vietnam. Some trivia for ya.

  7. twindaddy says:

    Ha! I’d forgotten about that. I was thinking the same thing as it happened. Weird.

  8. southerndreamer says:

    Oh thank God! I thought I was the only one who had that in my mind. For some reason they started doing blessings that way a few years back. I felt so self-conscious and wondered how could anyone NOT see the unnerving resemblance?

    • I don’t know how nobody else noticed it either. I was talking to one of my relatives about it during the reception (I don’t remember which one now), and they tried to make me feel bad for laughing and joking in church, but I couldn’t help it. It was so ridiculous, I had to laugh at it.

  9. Sounds really weird even for the Romans… Normally the whole “everyone putting their arms in the air to bless the couple” sort of thing belongs to the charismatic and pentecostal non-conformist types, not the traditionalists!

    I think I’d have been laughing right along with you.

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