I ordered Envy away from me. There were too many things going through my head right now, and I really needed to clear them out. Envy would just distract me from that. Next, I went to my quarters to lay down. I needed sleep that didn’t come courtesy of a stun blast. Processing all of this new information without any outside interference was another must, so I locked the door. Somehow, an ‘exotic herb’ that’s supposed to help people sleep was ingested (I’m still not sure how that happened), and when I woke up, our trip to Tatooine was halfway over.
My head was finally clear and I could think something without actually saying it (I checked…..many,many times). So, I began going over everything again in my head. A few things became clear to me. It was around these few things that I formulated my plan. After I had my plan nearly finished, I went over it a third time and looked for potential holes. When I thought I had them all covered, I called Envy in to go over the plan with me.
Some of you may be confused by this. You may be saying, “Torr, you haven’t explained to us what your plan is.” I am aware of that, but I do it for a good reason: if I tell you what my plan is now, it will give away what is going to happen next in the story. And, let’s face it, when you know what’s going to happen next, it ruins the story. I don’t want to take away anything from your enjoyment of me. I’m all about satisfying you (Remember that, ladies. Torr Nupp is all about YOUR satisfaction.)
Of course, you might also be wondering why I’d be discussing my plan with Envy, as he tends to only be helpful when I need to be mocked. Well, you just answered your own question. Being mocked might be just what I need right now. If any part of my plan is bad, or stupid, Envy will delight in pointing out how dumb I am for coming up with it in the first place. While I’m not a big fan of how he does it, I do need someone to bounce my ideas off of from time to time. Unfortunately, Envy’s all I have.
Also unfortunate was his response to my plan. “Master,” he sarcastically began, “it is a good plan, considering it came from a fleshpile, but there’s still one problem. Even if everything goes right in your plan, it may not change anything. If all that you want to happen does, in fact, happen, you still may find your career or life terminated. Of course, if your life is terminated, it is fair to say your career is terminated too, as dead men do not repair swoop bikes.”
“Thanks for pointing that out,” I replied. Hey, if he was going to be sarcastic to me, I was going to be sarcastic right back. “Does your superior droid brain have a better plan?”
“Out of all of your options, the one you have chosen seems the most likely to result in your continued existence. If you would prefer to live, I would go ahead and initiate this plan.”
“Go ahead and set it up, then.”
“Yes, because there is nothing more enjoyable than doing the bidding of an inferior being.”
As Envy turned to walk away, I wished I had a blaster with me so I could put a bolt right through his metallic head (Hahahahahahahahaha. If only….). After my droid killing fantasy was done, I went into my shop and began working on a swoop bike. As I rebuilt the engine, all of the different scenarios played out in my mind and I tried to think of what I’d do if those scenarios came about. This had an adverse effect on me as I started getting a giant headache. Normally, I don’t get headaches when thinking (despite what jokes you may be making right now….jerks). However, trying to think up every possible outcome to any situation is ridiculous and pointless.
People, no matter what race or species they belong to, are unpredictable and crazy, so there is no logic to their behavior. Therefore, it is impossible to try to foresee their next move or guess their reactions to certain events. I was going to have to stick with my original plan and improvise when things didn’t go my way. Thinking about it wasn’t doing me any good.
Instead, I focused on the task at hand. Rebuilding engines was easy compared to dealing with people and their insanity. It was where I usually went when I wanted to escape. Now, it’s my prison. My love of swoop bikes, and the racing circles, is one of the reasons I’m in this mess. (See, ladies? Not only am I great looking and have a wonderful sense of humor, but I’m deep, too.) I couldn’t put it off anymore. It was time to confront the other reason I was in this mess.
Katellan was in the cockpit (which is a very good thing. If he wasn’t in the cockpit, that would mean nobody was flying the ship and we probably would’ve crashed by now.) When he saw me walk in, he started to get up, but I stopped him. “How long have you worked for me,”I asked.
“I don’t know exactly, boss. It’s been a few years now.”
“In that time, have I ever not been there for you when you needed me to?”
“But this was too big…”
“I don’t care how big you think it is! If you needed money you should’ve come and talked to me about it. Do you know how much money I could make if I gave up racing and focused solely on swoop repair?”
“Not enough to cover my brother’s gambling debt.”
“Ok, probably not, but you still should’ve come to me first. What did you do instead? You brought contraband onto this ship. My ship. Who would’ve gone to jail if you got caught with it? Me. You jeopardized my freedom. Then, what did you do? You fixed one of my races. And, you were stupid enough to get caught doing it. If that holorecording goes public, who takes the fall? Me. Not you, me. You jeopardized my career, my future. To top it all off, now you’ve got me mixed up with this mercenary, who will probably kill me when I’m done with whatever it is he wants me to do. You’re also jeopardizing my life. After all of that, you act surprised when I say I don’t want you around anymore? You’re lucky I haven’t killed you. So, this is the way it’s going to be: You’re going to fly us to Tatooine, I’m going to do what Nalith said, and then I’m going far away from both of you.”
“I’m sorry, Torr.”
“No, Katellan. There’s no sorry big enough for what you did to me.”
I walked out of the cockpit and spent the rest of the trip in the garage working on swoops. When we finally landed on Tatooine, I was itching to get off the ship for a little while and head out for a few drinks. I had told Envy to have Turussk meet us at The Quick Fix the following day so I’d have time to drink myself into a better mood. That didn’t work out too well for me, though.
As soon as I stepped off the ramp, I felt another blaster on the back of my head. “Get back on the ship,” a voice said in Huttese.
Turning around, I saw that it was the Trandoshan. “Look, I’m all for punctuality, but this is a little much. You’re a day early.”
“Do you think I’m stupid, human? I know Nalith sent you here to kill me.”