Things You May Not Know: Priapism

Priapism and You

Most of you are probably asking, “What the hell is priapism?” Don’t feel too bad if you’re one of those people. There was once a time when I didn’t know what it was either. What first brought priapism to my attention was a commercial. You probably see these commercials at least once a day and never realize what you’re missing. Now, they bury the word priapism down in the fine print.

The commercials that you hear about priapism in are for the product Viagra and Cialis. In them, they always say, “If you experience an erection lasting longer than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention.” Well, priapism is the medical term for an erection lasting longer than 4 hours. Aren’t you glad I brought that to your attention? You should feel smarter now.

Some of you may be thinking, “Unless you’re a doctor, or one of the people taking those pills, that information is useless to me.” If you’re one of those people, then shame on you for being so selfish. Priapism is a serious medical problem and not everyone knows about it. Now that you know, it is your duty to inform others, so be sure to run up to every old man that you see to warn them about the dangers of 4 hour erections. On the outside, they may act creeped out or angry that a stranger is talking to them about priapism, but on the inside, they’ll be grateful that someone is paying attention to their wrinkled, old penises.

Also, this information could help you out if you’re a young man. This could help you land women. Think of how impressed they’ll be when you walk up to them with the pick up line of, “Hey, baby. You’re so hot you give me priapism.” We all know that every woman loves hearing that they inspire erections.

I hope you all learned a little something today. Until next time, America…..


18 comments on “Things You May Not Know: Priapism

  1. El Guapo says:

    Bats have bones in their penises.
    Always erect.
    You’re welcome.

  2. k8edid says:

    I think if men knew what happens when they seek treatment for those 4 hour erections, they’d think twice about taking ED meds. Well. maybe they wouldn’t, I don’t know. I’m not a man. But the procedure to reverse priapism is called detumescence…and it isn’t pretty. It involves removing the blood that is causing the penile tissues to swell…use your imagination. Now you know the rest of the story…

  3. 1jaded1 says:

    Lol. I’d say thanks but I already knew what this was, clinically. Bc I’m female, I can only empathize and think OUCH.

  4. I actually remember the girl who said behind me in 12th grade English saying “I wonder how many guys I’ve given boners to” so you’re really onto something here.

    I’m not sure whatever happened to her. Last time I saw she was posting ads on Craigslist offering something called a BJ. Not familiar with that terminology. Perhaps you can fill me in on that too?

  5. twindaddy says:

    “Hey, baby. You’re so hot you give me priapism.” The Beavis and Butthead approach to women. Works every time.

  6. josefkul says:

    That’s exactly four hours longer than my average! Seriously though, priaprism does suck. The people who often get them are younger individuals who abuse those medications and it can result in permanent erectile dysfunction. Random viagra fact: it was originally used for treatment of pulmonary hypertension until patients began to see associated benefits downstairs.

  7. MissFourEyes says:

    This is my new favorite word

  8. Well, it’s true, you really do learn something new every day.

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