This was going to be tricky. It was going to take all of his super speed, plus precise timing, to pull it off. He just hoped he had the skill needed to do it. Our hero could already hear the screams of terror that would occur should he fail. No, he told himself. I must not fail. I WILL NOT FAIL!
In one smooth motion, he let go of what was in his hand, grabbed the remote, turned off the porno, turned on Sportscenter, and covered his lower half with a blanket. When his mother walked in a second later, all she saw was him laying on his bed. “Dinner is ready,” she said.
“Ma,” our hero yelled. “Could you knock first? What if I had a girl in here?”
“You’ll have to become a lot less ugly before I start worrying about that.”
Our hero was going to point out that everyone they had ever met said that he looked like her, but decided that any further conversation should wait until he wasn’t naked from the waist down. He waited for her to leave, but she just stood there. Finally, she asked, “Are you coming?”
Under his breath, he replied, “Not with you standing there.”
“What was that?”
“I said I’ll be down in a minute. Get the hell out of here.”
With that his mother left the room and another adventure of Captain Procrastination ended.