Burning The Newb Volume 3

Thankfully, they’ve been having Newb do other things the past few days, so I haven’t been stuck with him. Unfortunately, that means I don’t have as many burns as usual.

1. I don’t really remember what I said to provoke this, but Newb responded with the very original comeback of, “That’s what she said.” I replied, “How would you know? You’ve never been with a ‘she’.”

2. I walked into this conversation halfway through, so I don’t know what brought it on, but some chick was talking to Newb and saying something about making her boyfriend think Newb is gay. I added, “Just have him spend 2 minutes with Newb. That’ll be all the convincing he needs.”

3. Newb made a remark about the size of one of the skids we were working on (not how much freight was on it, but the actual size of the wooden pallet). I said to him, “Remember, Newb, that any piece of wood, even the tiniest splinter, looks huge compared to what you’re packing.”

4. Only those that read my blog about the texting prank of Newb will get this one. After saying #3, Newb asked how I would know such a thing. I responded, “Amy Foster told me.”

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