Movies That Should Not Be

I’m not talking about movies that suck so bad that they should never have been made, although there are a lot of those. I’m talking about movies that have plot holes so big that the story would never have happened. I’ve already told you about my problems with Star Wars: Episode 1, so I’ll use another example.

Last night, I was watching The Transporter (the first one, as the second one is one of the movies that suck so bad it shouldn’t have been made). In the first sequence of the movie, Jason Statham’s character is hired to be a getaway driver during a bank robbery. Ok, that’s fine. That makes sense. Unfortunately, that’s the only part of the story that would happen if common sense was used.

After the bank robbery job, he’s called for a new one. He meets two guys at a bar that want to hire him to drive a package to their boss, who, and I’m not making this up, is named Wall Street. They pay Jason Statham $40,000 to drive the package, which turns out to be a Chinese woman in a duffel bag, for 4 hours on the condition that he doesn’t look in the bag. Once again, I’m not making that up. Then, of course, he looks and the bad guys go after him.

That plot makes no sense at all. Why would anyone pay someone they don’t know $40,000 to drive a package for them, especially if they were concerned about the contents of the package being discovered? Hell, either one of the two guys who they used to hire Jason Statham could have driven the package to their boss. It wouldn’t have cost them $40,000 to do it, either. All they’d be out is gas money.

There are more movies like this out there, but this is the one that’s sticking out in my mind right now. Is there any that you can think of?


One comment on “Movies That Should Not Be

  1. beefybooyawn says:

    The only one that pops in my head right off is Forrest Gump. To use the old joke about the movie, had the bus showed up early or he knew where he was going, there never would have been a movie.

    That’s not exactly what you’re talking about, and I know of at least one that doesn’t make sense to me, but I can’t think of it right now. I’m tired. Good point though, and it sucks because I really wanted to see those movies. I’m glad I haven’t now.

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