One of the songs I should never have to hear again was on the radio today. It was one of the songs by Gaga. OG made a sarcastic comment about how Gaga is his hero. I innocently replied, “Gaga needs to die.” I started to walk away, turned back around, and said, “Ok, maybe not die, but she needs to go away forever.” This college girl walked by and asked OG what I said. He told her just the part where I said Gaga needed to die. The college girl (CG from now on), apparently a Gaga fan, looked at me, called me an asshole, and started to walk away.
Once again, me being all innocent and stuph, said, “I’ve been called worse by better people.” Somehow, this became the talk of the whole place for the rest of the day. CG tried to give me dirty looks the rest of the day, but couldn’t, because she kept laughing at what I said. CW4, who heard the story from OG, came up to me and held his hand up for a high-five. I obliged, although I gave him a weird look as I did so. Afterwards, he said, “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”
I certainly hope not. It’s a funny phrase, but it’s not that funny. Two things went through my mind when he said that. One: If that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard, this guy needs to get out more. Two: Probably the only reason he found it so funny is that he’s been trying to get CG to go out with him since I started working there a few months ago and she keeps turning him down. For some reason, CW4 hasn’t gotten the hint and still tries for her.
Anyways, I dislike it when people use phrases like, “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard”, especially when what has been said isn’t all that funny. Save phrases like that for when it’s appropriate. You know, when it’s actually true.
Apparently, what I said was so amusing to these people that they felt like they needed to share it with people who were on vacation last week and weren’t there when I said it. College Girl came up to me with said vacationer and asked me what I said to start it all. I told her. She proceeded to tell him the rest of it. He laughed, then, feigning umbrage, told me I shouldn’t be disrespecting CG like that. I said, “It’s not disrespectful. I don’t care what CG does, I’m never going to think she’s better than my wife, and my wife has called me worse than that.”
Vacationer raised his hand for me to high-five (What’s with these people wanting to high-five me all the time?). Then he made some exclamation about me liking my wife. I guess I looked puzzled, because I was, and CG explained that I’m the only married guy there (out of maybe 20 married guys) that actually likes his wife.
Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought you were supposed to like your wife. If you don’t like her, then why the hell did you marry her? If you liked her before, but don’t now, why the hell don’t you get a divorce? I know that sometimes couples stay together for the sake of their children, but that’s not always a good idea and not all of the married guys there have kids.
My workplace is like Bizzarro World….