“The funniest thing I’ve ever heard.” UPDATED

One of the songs I should never have to hear again was on the radio today. It was one of the songs by Gaga. OG made a sarcastic comment about how Gaga is his hero. I innocently replied, “Gaga needs to die.” I started to walk away, turned back around, and said, “Ok, maybe not die, but she needs to go away forever.” This college girl walked by and asked OG what I said. He told her just the part where I said Gaga needed to die. The college girl (CG from now on), apparently a Gaga fan, looked at me, called me an asshole, and started to walk away.

Once again, me being all innocent and stuph, said, “I’ve been called worse by better people.” Somehow, this became the talk of the whole place for the rest of the day. CG tried to give me dirty looks the rest of the day, but couldn’t, because she kept laughing at what I said. CW4, who heard the story from OG, came up to me and held his hand up for a high-five. I obliged, although I gave him a weird look as I did so. Afterwards, he said, “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard.”

I certainly hope not. It’s a funny phrase, but it’s not that funny. Two things went through my mind when he said that. One: If that’s the funniest thing he’s ever heard, this guy needs to get out more. Two: Probably the only reason he found it so funny is that he’s been trying to get CG to go out with him since I started working there a few months ago and she keeps turning him down. For some reason, CW4 hasn’t gotten the hint and still tries for her.

Anyways, I dislike it when people use phrases like, “That’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard”, especially when what has been said isn’t all that funny. Save phrases like that for when it’s appropriate. You know, when it’s actually true.


Apparently, what I said was so amusing to these people that they felt like they needed to share it with people who were on vacation last week and weren’t there when I said it. College Girl came up to me with said vacationer and asked me what I said to start it all. I told her. She proceeded to tell him the rest of it. He laughed, then, feigning umbrage, told me I shouldn’t be disrespecting CG like that. I said, “It’s not disrespectful. I don’t care what CG does, I’m never going to think she’s better than my wife, and my wife has called me worse than that.”

Vacationer raised his hand for me to high-five (What’s with these people wanting to high-five me all the time?). Then he made some exclamation about me liking my wife. I guess I looked puzzled, because I was, and CG explained that I’m the only married guy there (out of maybe 20 married guys) that actually likes his wife.

Maybe I’m wrong, but I thought you were supposed to like your wife. If you don’t like her, then why the hell did you marry her? If you liked her before, but don’t now, why the hell don’t you get a divorce? I know that sometimes couples stay together for the sake of their children, but that’s not always a good idea and not all of the married guys there have kids.

My workplace is like Bizzarro World….

This entry was posted in Stuph.

4 comments on ““The funniest thing I’ve ever heard.” UPDATED

  1. beefybooyawn says:

    Wow, where to begin?

    First off, I’ve often said that to others as well, which I do find funny because I got it from a friend of mine and I thought he was the only person to ever say it. “I’ve been called far worse things by far better people.” Good line.

    Second, yeah, I like my wife too. I remember the day I was getting married I went to work for a couple hours before hand. The guys there were all saying things like, “It’s the end of your life now” and “get ready to welcome misery into your life” and other things. I told them all that I was happy to get married because I love my wife and I’m marrying her because I want to. I don’t get it. I know it’s like, the norm, to make fun of being married. Every comedian has that covered. But really, like you said, I like my wife and she’s my best friend. I can’t figure out those people who say differently.

    I will say, though, about that “funniest thing I’ve ever heard” line. Of course it isn’t the funniest, but everyone says these little things all the time which piss me off to no end. The only way I get past it is to know that it’s just a saying and not to be taken literally. Unfortunately, that only gets me by for so long because it really does piss me off. But it’s everywhere.

    “Oh my god, I’m going to die.” No, you’re not. “My life is over!” No, it’s not. And the one that I hate the most is mostly on commercials for new products. “This is going to change everything.” No, it really isn’t. I just watched a video on Xbox live about this new TV thing they’re doing with the Xbox. They say in that, that it is going to change everything. No it fucking isn’t. My yard is still going to look like shit. My ex girlfriend is still a raging whore. McDonald’s food still sucks. Gas prices are still too high and there will never be peace on earth. So if it isn’t at the very least changing all of that shit, then it isn’t changing everything.

    God, thanks for getting me on a tangent, FUCK. lol

  2. This is why I loved George Carlin. He always pointed out stupid phrases like those and made it hilarious. It almost made those phrases tolerable because you could just think about what he said about them and it made you laugh and forget about how stupid it is.
    As far as the wife thing, it just boggles my mind. I know that any two people won’t always agree or get along, whether it’s husband/wife, a couple of friends, or siblings. However, if your marriage is at the point to where you just don’t like your spouse anymore, it’s time to get out. My wife and I have known each other for 12 years (we’ve only been married for a little over 2 of those years). Over the course of 12 years, we’ve had our share of disagreements, but we’ve never even come close to the point to where we don’t like each other anymore. After everything we’ve been through together, I love her more now than I ever have before.

  3. orples says:

    The last part you mentioned in your article . . . staying together for the sake of your kids can sometimes be more damning than not. When my X and I divorced, we laid down the hatchet where the children were concerned and agreed that above all else, despite our differences, we would leave the kids out of the divorce and teach them to respect us both. Now the kids are grown, and I think because they were not pulled into our martial strife, grew up much happier in the long run. It is nice to know that you ‘like’ your wife. Here’s hoping you two share many wonderful years together.

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