In a recent post, twindaddy stated that Episode 2 was the worst Star Wars movie. During a second blog, he pointed out the flaws in the rest of the movies. While I agree on everything he said was wrong with Attack of the Clones, I have to say that Episode 1 is the worst of the six. I recently watched The Phantom Menace again and noticed more things that are wrong and/or stupid in it, besides what twindaddy has already pointed out.
Before I begin, I feel like I must reiterate how bad Jar Jar Binks is. I know it’s already been covered, but, in my opinion, he’s the worst thing in any movie, ever (although the “love story” in Episode 2 is a close second). I’ll take “Greedo shooting first” over Jar Jar any day of the week.
1. The pod race: While some may argue that the pod race was either cool or suspenseful, I didn’t like it because it was completely unnecessary. The reason Anakin was in the pod race was because they were gambling for the money they needed to buy parts for their spaceship. Watto has the parts, but won’t sell it to them because they only have Republic Credits.
Really? Are you trying to tell me that there are no banks or businesses on Tatooine that can exchange the credits for wuipi (or whatever the hell the people of Tatooine call their money)? Bullshit. How would their spaceports stay in business if there was no way to take money from offworlders?
For the sake of argument, however, let’s say that there is no place to exchange money. Qui-Gon was willing to try to use the Jedi Mind Trick on Watto to get him to take the credits. That’s not a bad thing. He’s still trying to pay him for the parts. Why not just wait until dark, take the parts, and leave the credits for Watto? They get the parts and Watto gets the money, just not the kind of money he wants.
2. The Bongo Ride: After meeting up with the Gungans, they take a Bongo to try to reach Queen Amidala. While under water, they are attacked twice by giant fish looking to eat them. Both times, they are miraculously saved at the last second by bigger fish eating the fish that are chasing them. You can call it luck or the Force. Either way, it’s ridiculous.
The other thing ridiculous about the Bongo ride? Jar Jar freaks out about the fish and Qui-Gon uses the Vulcan neck pinch to knock him out. While I’m glad there was something that shut Jar Jar up for a few minutes, they used the Vulcan neck pinch. Stealing Spock’s move to use in a Star Wars movie? Not cool.
3. The Final Battle: Apparently, to win a war in Episode 1, you have to be a clutz or not know what you’re doing. Jar Jar kills a bunch of droids by fumbling grenades and Anakin destroys the control ship by hitting random buttons, shooting off missiles. Why bother training troops? All you have to do is get them drunk and send them off to fight.
I also don’t get the Gungan shield. It can stop laser and cannon fire, but the droids can walk right through it? How does that work?
Conclusion: While Episode 2 has many flaws, I still think Episode 1 is worse. Other than the “love story” scenes, I can watch Attack of the Clones without getting pissed off. The same cannot be said for The Phantom Menace. Every time I watch it, I find something new that pisses me off.