Normally, I don’t like Chris Berman. His “swami” or however the hell you spell it, is annoying as crap. Just a few seconds ago, he actually said something funny. He didn’t mean to, but he did. If he would’ve said it in his normal voice, it wouldn’t have been funny, but he was talking in one of his weird voices.
He was promoting some NASCAR race that is following Sunday Morning Countdown, talking about a driver chasing the NASCAR points leader, Jimmie Johnson. What he said was this: “Blah Blah (I don’t know any NASCAR drivers’ names) is only 42 points behind Jimmie Johnson.” (I know what you’re thinking. If you don’t know any NASCAR drivers’ names, how do you know Jimmie Johnson’s? Well, the answer to that is simple. I remember that one because that’s what makes what Berman said funny.)
That’s what Berman said. What it sounded like he said was this: “Blah Blah is only 42 points behind Jimmie’s johnson.”
This begs the question: How can someone be behind in points to someone’s johnson? Is that in size, as in length or width? If that’s the case, is that something that should be declared publicly? Blah Blah doesn’t want the world to know that he has a johnson that is 42 points smaller than Jimmie’s. That’s just embarrassing. It’s not any of our business that Blah Blah has a small johnson. I’m sure he feels bad enough about having a small johnson without everybody knowing about it.
Now it goes from Berman saying something funny, to saying something cruel. Of course, cruel things can also be funny. So, thank you, Chris Berman, for finally saying something that was actually funny. Cruelly funny.